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I am probably a drag to even listen to. I feel like a miserable chronic complainer. I am! You probably do not want to hear my complaints because everyone has their own problems but maybe I will feel better writing this! I cannot even stand myself right now! I am miserable and everyday that goes by is the same! I am in constant pain and it is ruining my life! Norco does nothing for me anymore maybe I have a tolerance to it now I do not know! I feel like I am bringing everybody else around me down. My kids must be tired of a mother that is miserable and sick all of the time. My husband probably secretly is tired of being with someone in my condition. I feel like my friends are tired of having a sick friend. I feel like if I tell the Pain Management dr the truth how my pain is not managed great with the Norco that she will take away my meds and question whether or not I need them. I feel that way because I was made to feel like a drugseeker by other drs in the past. I am not living. I am sitting in the same spot for the past few days because it hurts more with any movement. I am not working because I cannot anymore. Money is tight because I am not working. My urologist can do weekly instillations but that is $40 to him a week. I need Elmiron which is almost $80 a month with the insurance. I have to pay pain management copay is $40. Rheumatologist $40. I know I need a psychiatrist but another $40 a week. on top of that my son is on 4 asthma meds a month for severe asthma so his needs come before mine and he needs to breathe so the Elmiron is out and so is the installations and therapist which I know that I need. My husband is not their father but he basically supports them anyway(ex is a deadbeat and owes $68,000. in arrears for child support) but why should he foot the bill for everything? It is not fair! I do not know what to do. I am suffering and I want to pull the phone out of the wall but I cannot in case the school calls about my son having an asthma attack.I do not feel like talking to anyone because I have nothing positive to say. My blinds are shut. I do not want to get dressed. I am not eating that much but I am fatter than ever from lack of movement and exercise in months.I went from 110-115 lbs to 150 lbs quickly!I hate myself! In the beginning the pain meds would wipe away most of the pain and I was functional I worked got my house clean, errands, whatever needed to be done. When they wore off i felt the pain again but it was time for my next dose. Now I take my meds wait and wait and look at the clock no relief at all!It is not even close to time for my next dose and I am in excruciating pain! My other son is home sick so I cannot go to the Dr. Should I do what I am not supposed to do. Double up on the Norco to have a little relief for today and risk having more of a tolerance? And also running out of pills sooner? I do not know how those of you who are denied pain relief goes about your day suffering(I did at one point for a long time) because I would not be able to handle it not having anything for pain at this point. I would not be writing this right now. I am living because I have to for my kids. I would never take my life because of my kids. But if I did not have them I would not have anything stopping me. I cannot imagine the rest of my life like this! My life is passing me by I feel like. I know that I should be appreciative of all the little things and also the people in my life but right now I cannot bring myself to be happy when I am in agony suffering and feel like there is no hope or solution to the problem. I spent thousands last year on co-payments for Drs and meds and I do not have the $ I need to do something to fix this problem or get it under control. I am terrified to ask my PM Dr for stronger or longer lasting meds. When I told her in tears last time that the norco did not last long enough she gave me ultram to take in between 2 X a day. Ultram is not cutting it for severe pain and the norco only lasts 3 hours usually and right now it lasts 0 hours because it is ineffective. How do I approach her about this? I think I am her only patient that she treats for "pelvic pain" as they put it. I was sent to her(by uro) only because they were doing a study on pelvic pain. The patients I see in the waiting room mostly are cancer patients and people with back problems. If you read this long post thanks! I know that I am having a pity party and feeling sorry for myself but I cannot help it! I hope the rest of you are having a pain free and happy day!
Migraines since 1986
Diagnosed w/ Lymes 1997
Epstein Barr 1998
Bulging discs in neck and back 1999 which feels like they are herniating now!Pain radiating down legs to feet but I cannot deal with that now.
IBS 2002
Endometriosis 2006
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction 2006
Vulvodynia 2006
Constant Kidney stones and bladder/kidney infections for 11 years!
Was given "sort of a diagnosis in 2002 for IC" but never was told until recently that definitely was the problem until now 2007(because it takes several years supposively to rule everything else out I was told)! They had me down as "Pelvic Pain Syndrome" all this time but said it had to be IC and treated me for IC
Heart murmur worse now because of palpitations but that is another bill so forget about the cardiologist!
Was given Norco 4x a day as needed, Ultram 2X a day as needed, Klonopin 1 X before bed or 1/2 in Am and 1/2 in PM whichever works better. But morning after Klonopin I have a major migraine. Now needing migraine meds but Fioricet makes the frequency worse, Relpax does not work, and Imitrex does not work. So I am not taking Klonopin right now. And Ultram makes my migraines worse.Pyridium used to help with flares but now hurts my kidneys so that is out!
Migraines since 1986
Diagnosed w/ Lymes 1997
Epstein Barr 1998
Bulging discs in neck and back 1999 which feels like they are herniating now!Pain radiating down legs to feet but I cannot deal with that now.
IBS 2002
Endometriosis 2006
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction 2006
Vulvodynia 2006
Constant Kidney stones and bladder/kidney infections for 11 years!
Was given "sort of a diagnosis in 2002 for IC" but never was told until recently that definitely was the problem until now 2007(because it takes several years supposively to rule everything else out I was told)! They had me down as "Pelvic Pain Syndrome" all this time but said it had to be IC and treated me for IC
Heart murmur worse now because of palpitations but that is another bill so forget about the cardiologist!
Was given Norco 4x a day as needed, Ultram 2X a day as needed, Klonopin 1 X before bed or 1/2 in Am and 1/2 in PM whichever works better. But morning after Klonopin I have a major migraine. Now needing migraine meds but Fioricet makes the frequency worse, Relpax does not work, and Imitrex does not work. So I am not taking Klonopin right now. And Ultram makes my migraines worse.Pyridium used to help with flares but now hurts my kidneys so that is out!
, lots of reading and snuggling with the pets
!
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