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My fiance has left me because I am sick! Please give me words of comfort!

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  • #16
    I'm so sorry I've often worried when I'm in a flare that Mike might leave me b/c he's so outgoing. I thought going into remission would make us better, but it didn't b/c IC wasn't causing the problems. If anyone leaves you b/c they can't take you flaring all the time then there is more to it than that. I know its hard for outsiders to understand us and how horrible IC is, but if someone really loves you they will take the IC along w/ the person. Just think, if he'd leave you over IC then what else would he have bailed out of? Hope you're feeling better! (((hugs)))

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    • #17
      Thank you so much for that. I guess heartbreak just takes time. I am fortunate to have you all to lean on.
      K

      Comment


      • #18
        I am at a loss (and coming from me, that says a lot LOL) for words. I cannot imagine how I would feel, I'm always afraid my husband is going to leave as I am no longer much like the woman he married .

        I agree with everyone: take a certain amt of time to grieve each day but try not to continually dwell (easier said than done!!). HE'S NOT WORTH IT . I've lost someone I THOUGHT was a really good friend due to my illness and that breaks my heart...

        PM me if you need anything, I'm always home. Give your doggie a kiss, he's a sweetie.

        With love, with patience, & with faith...

        Tracy
        (Added by ICNMgrJill on 5/19/08. I am sad to share that Verdicries (aka Tracy) lost her life in a tragic accident just a few days ago. We will miss her support, her encouragement, her sense of humor and, of course, the joy that she found as a mother and wife).

        Tracy ~ 29 years old with Toxoplasmosis (from birth), Fibro/CFS (since age 13...ouch), severe IC, IBS-D, severe PFD (surgery made it even worse), vulvodynia, hiatal hernia, GERD, ulcers, severe gastritis, numbness/tingling in extremeties, pelvic nerve damage--mainly urethral, urinary retention, pelvic reconstruction 7.10.07 (fixed rectocele, rectal prolapse, lifted bladder, urethra, uterus, and repaired vaginal walls), Raynaud's, 2 severely herniated discs in neck and one in low back, anemia, PCOS, anxiety/depression/panic attacks (since forever). Still having major bowel problems (inability to empty rectum...any ideas?? ).

        I'd like to be on House, MD as a medical mystery.

        Married to Craig, a saint amongst men...who puts up with me and my eccentricities...

        Connor & Mommy by the tree:


        Connor with Santa...so happy!


        I take: LIQUID Atarax, Flomax, Soma (yet again), acidophilus, Glucosamine/Chondroitin with MSM & collagen, d-mannose. MAJOR flare from Cystoprotek! Re-trying freeze dried aloe vera w/some decent results!

        Tried and failed: Elavil, Ultram, Prosed DS, Benadryl, Bentyl, Valium, Ativan, Zanaflex, Librax, Sanctura (all caused retention among other things), bladder instills (owwwwww!), Elmiron (allergic-throat tightening). Failed Interstim-no feeling in sacral nerves...

        I'm allergic to penicillan, sulfa, reglan, quinolones, clindamycin, and now LATEX!

        Comment


        • #19
          I am sorry you have to go through this. I also agree with Donna. This guy is not worth your tears. He has no compassion and it would have been hard staying with him. You need someone who will understand your ups and downs and realize you are doing what you can. I am hoping this time passes quickly and you meet someone else.

          Ginny

          Comment


          • #20
            I just wanted to say your story broke my heart. I was with a guy for a few years. I went thru some hard times (non-IC related) and he just couldnt hack it. I dont think he could handle seeing me when I was at my low points, so I finally broke up with him.

            The day after my fiance and I decided to start dating, I knew he was the one for me for this reason. I was at work, and had just gotten off from working the third shift. I lived 30 miles from work and I was exhausted. I lived with my grandparents. Grandma had not been home long after having her stroke. I couldnt call them. Both my good friends and parents were at work. I didnt know who to call. So I called Jerry. He came from his house which is 30 miles north of where I was, to take me home 30 miles east of where I was. He went back home, got himself ready for work then went to work. He got off work, came and got me and took me to class. Then he came back to get me and took me to work. Then he came back the next morning and took me home. What I realized at that moment is that no matter what, he would always be there for me.

            The day I was diagnosed with IC, I had the cytoscopy done. I had gone alone cause I didnt know how bad it would hurt. Halfway home, (we were living together at this point) he called. I was crying and in a lot of pain. When I got home, he had a glass of water, tylenol, and a heating pad and my blanket all ready for me.

            What Im trying to say, is that everyone deserves a man like this. A man who will stand by your side no matter what. You will find that special person!
            Meds: Percocet PRN; Pyridium PRN. First symptoms Dec 2005. Diagnosed in March 2006.

            I am the proud mom of a two year old boy! I was lucky enough to be in remission my entire pregnancy. If you have any questions regarding my pregancy, delivery, breastfeeding, or pumping, feel free to contact me!

            Im on Facebook! Just tell me you are from the ICN. Look me up under Kim Wayne.

            I love working as a CNA in a nursing home. Started school in August part time. Going for my LPN!!!!

            Comment


            • #21
              KuntryGirl

              Happy to see you going to a sleep clinic. I just did this last month and found out my "nocturia" was due to sleep apnea. My bladder really had to empty about once or maybe twice a night at the most. The sleep clinic doctor told me that if you wake up from sleep it is almost a reflex action to go to the bathroom weather you have to or not. You might be surprised to find out your nocturia is not due to bladder problems, hope you figure it out.
              Sammi

              Sammi

              Meds: Melatonin 3mg @ bedtime if needed. Estrogen 1.5 mg troche and 0.1 mg Estrace cream.
              Diagnosis: IC, PFD (both in remission)

              Comment


              • #22
                Hon you are never alone here ! I'm so sorry for your break up. But the girls are right, and have given you great advise . I just wanted to add my support & hugs. I know it hurts , But you will be fine & keep your chin up.
                Hugs Sandra
                "Never Give Up."

                To view pictures of my creative interests and Maine Coon kittens click here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/

                My Photobucket Link:
                http://s237.photobucket.com/albums/f...ramack_photos/

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                • #23
                  ((((((((((((((Katheryn)))))))))))))

                  I'm so sorry hon. You will always have sisters here to hold you up in your time of need.

                  God bless you,
                  Moonheart
                  http://www.TheCraftyEwe.etsy.com

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Sorry K but I really believe he would have left for some reason eventually. There are some guys that just can not make a commitment. It might have been lust but not love. A person who loves cares more about their partners and their well-being then they do their own. Devotion, he was never up to it from the get go. This too will pass. Don't think it was just your flare. It could have been a broken leg. We can't control our emotions so cry it out, stay busy as possible and please believe there will come a time that you wouldn't take him back for any price. I care, HUGS, Ziggy

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      I am sorry to hear that he hurt you. I agree with what goes around comes around. Sometimes bad things happen to good people but in the long run they are really good things to get your life back on track..Having him leave opens the door for you to meet someone that is full of love and caring. One day you look back and be glad he left..:woohoo: I realize right now is the hard part, but reach out as much as you want and treat your self special things, and know that you will feel better soon..
                      Meds on now:

                      dextro 10mg

                      5000mg Vitamin D- when tested, I was sooo low.
                      Compound Hormones- Had hysterectomy when 24, ovaries out 37

                      At night:


                      4mg Zanaflex- Fibro & PFD
                      plendil- Raynalds

                      I have Fibro, IC, IBS, PFD, Raynauds.

                      Tried:

                      Past Meds
                      Lexpro- changed to Cymbalta for better pain relief –off both
                      Ultram – three times a day. Helped , I was tired of always being so tired.
                      Elmiron-took for a year-
                      Topamax-Did not need anymore since on dextro.
                      Atarax- did not need anymore

                      Pictures: Hubby & Me, Ozzy, My three Sons!!
                      What a proud Mother I am!!



                      .

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Well girlfriends, I made it through the night. Life will go on as long as it is supposed to...or something like that. I am thankful for you all and your kind words.
                        I just listened to Trisha Yearwood on YOUTUBE singing "trying to love you"--someone tell me to stay away form weepy love songs!! I should know better. I heard Paul McCartney singing "calico skies" a song he wrote when Linda, was in Chemo.....now that was love. I hope I find a man to share my life with. Good gosh. I am feeling sorry for myself and that is not good.
                        Bless you ALL~~~~
                        Katheryn, or just plain K

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Katheryn, I think I have to say, I'll bet most of us at some point of a breakup have done just that! Loaded up on as many sappy, love songs and cried ourselves silly, lol. I know I am guilty of it for sure!

                          So - today is a new day! You can start all over again! I highly reccommend only empowering music - like Kelly Clarkson's "Ms. Independant" or the song "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera (both were my theme songs during my divorce, lol), and in your "grieving" time if you want to listen to some sad love songs (if you feel you just have to ), that's the ONLY time you get to listen! Set a timer and call it quits when it rings, hee hee And then it's onward and upward!!!!

                          Last edited by traceann; 03-11-2007, 04:01 AM.
                          Hugs,
                          Tracey
                          How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

                          Harry arrived 2/23/09!



                          *IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                          IC Diet Cheat Sheet:
                          http://www.ic-network.com/diet/2009icdietlist.pdf



                          Dx's:
                          IC dx'd Nov 2004
                          Lymphocytic Colitis dx'd July 2005
                          Possible IBS
                          Current IC Meds
                          Vistaril 25mg in the evening
                          Previous IC Meds taken:
                          Cystoprotek - 2 caps 2x's a day
                          Elmiron, 100mg 3x's a day
                          Ditropan, 5 mg 3x's a day
                          Others:
                          Wellbutrin 150mg 2x's a day for Anxiety/IBS
                          Pepcid 40mg a day for GERD
                          Zytrec for Nasal Allergies
                          Align Probiotic daily for IBS

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Stay away from sad songs. They are depressing and make you more sad. Try putting on some dance up beat music, and dance around...It helps me..Glad you made it though the night. Each day will get better.
                            Meds on now:

                            dextro 10mg

                            5000mg Vitamin D- when tested, I was sooo low.
                            Compound Hormones- Had hysterectomy when 24, ovaries out 37

                            At night:


                            4mg Zanaflex- Fibro & PFD
                            plendil- Raynalds

                            I have Fibro, IC, IBS, PFD, Raynauds.

                            Tried:

                            Past Meds
                            Lexpro- changed to Cymbalta for better pain relief –off both
                            Ultram – three times a day. Helped , I was tired of always being so tired.
                            Elmiron-took for a year-
                            Topamax-Did not need anymore since on dextro.
                            Atarax- did not need anymore

                            Pictures: Hubby & Me, Ozzy, My three Sons!!
                            What a proud Mother I am!!



                            .

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Sorry you have to go through the pain

                              Hi K,

                              Dido, to a lot of advice here. I know you hurt now, but one of these days, when, the 2nd most wonderful guy, (I have the first, lol) in the world comes along , You will thank him. It is a whole lot easier to end a relationship now than to have married him. Thank God for his honestly anyway, however, selfish and self centered he sounds. I do believe it's true, God doesn't close one door without opening another, But it sure can be hell in the hallway. In my past break-ups, I had to linger in the hallway for a while just to grieve, that's ok too.

                              Yes, there are wonderful guys out there, but as long as you are with this guy, God can't bring him to you. It sounds like you deserve the best!

                              God Bless You, Hugs to you,
                              MARY


                              Serenity isn't freedom from the storm.....it's peace within the storm.....I had my sick bladder removed Jan 7th 2010.....Even though I had many complications.......I would do it again in a moment.....I have no regrets......Sunflowers in memory of my sister who passed March 14th 2010......they were her favorite....

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Offering hope...

                                Katheryn,

                                I was left by a fiance too...not because of IC, but because he simply wanted to...and thought I was completely and totally responsible for everything wrong in our relationship.

                                Truthfully, as much as it hurt...and humiliating as it was (had church, dresses, decorations....small town) him leaving was the best thing that could have happened. I discovered the man that I was in love with, was the man he was pretending to be... And God protected me, and within a year I re-met the most amazing, kind man.(He is in seminary) We will be married 3 years in May. (We would not have met, if I hadn't experienced the bad stuff)

                                The point is, good things can come out of truly horrible things. I pray that for you.
                                Dx's:
                                IC -February 2007
                                PCOS - August 2005
                                Asthma and Allergies - 2003
                                Depression - 1997
                                Scoliosis/Sciatica/arthritis - 1997
                                Hip Replacement -2001
                                Possible IBS -2006

                                Current IC meds:
                                Elmiron, 100mg 3x's a day

                                Other Meds:
                                Metformin 850 mg/2x a day
                                Singulair 10 mg/1x a day
                                Albuterol and Advair
                                Femara (infertility)

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