I'm so devasted and hurt by my children that I just don't think I can cope anymore. My youngest, 17 yrs. old, informed me last night that I have single-handedly ruined our entire family with my "make believe diseases and mental disorders that cause me to go from Dr to Dr always looking for some new dx and problem." He also told me that everyone knows that I am only "sick" when it is convienant for me and that everyone in the family, my friends and people at church know it's a mental problem and I'm not really "sick" but am addicted to drugs. He went on and on and on.... it was a vicous attack and not one of my older 3 children stopped him or came to my defense. (BTW I'm not even on any narcotic meds and haven't been for yrs, I just started taking Ultram for my Lupus 2 weeks ago) I can't even understand where he is coming from, I've worked sooooo hard not let this ruin our family. I work full-time just to keep my insurance to ensure it doesn't financially ruin us. I'm actually eligable for disabilty but have opted to cont. working for as long as I possibly can. I've been the soccer/baseball mom, scout leader, tutor, taxi, go to all school activities..... for 25 yrs and now they come up with this!! Yes, the past 5 yrs have been pretty rough, and I have multiple medical problems in addition to IC, but my goodness who would WANT to go through the living hell that I go through?

I'm so hurt this morning I could hardly even look at him when he got up for school. How can I handle this? I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and die. Here I thought I was doing so well in being able to work, maintain my house and family, serve at church... even with all the pain and then to find out that this is how my children really feel about me. Someone please tell me what's the point of even trying to go on?