I'm SOOO Mad

[MakinIT]

OMG I am sooo mad. I have had a disabled permit for 3 years. I can't walk very far, especially with bags and such. I stopped at a grocery store today and was with my 12 year old. We got out of the car (today was high pain, lo med b/c I had to drive) in a H/C spot. I walk with a mild limp...no biggee, nothing that would really indicate disability. But most people these days understand invisible disabilities. I see this guy give me a wierd look when I get out of the car...So, I walk into the store and this dude jumps me (not literally) and screams "My DAD is in a WHEELCHAIR...you walk just fine, he doesn't even use his permit"" I said "Are you a Doctor?" That ****** him off, and he just let loose trying to shame me in front of the store. I wish I could say I just stayed calm and let it slide off my back but I wound up calling him things I never would say in front of my 12 year old (although I did give him the opportunity to "learn" what the issue is) I know he had no idea what was going on with me, after all, he didn't want to know...but in addition to my IC stuff being horrid lately, my right arm keeps going numb..chiro says he's almost positive I have a disc in my neck blown...My migraines are crazy..I just wanted to smack him...I was so tired and so sick at the moment I crossed his path I was just DONE!!! I understand people not getting it when someone looks healthy...But if you have questions, rather than just freak on the the person and make them appear as an idiot and scum in front of half of your community, just ask them......

[Roxie2007]

OMG! I'm SO sorry you had to go through such a trauma with that idiot in the store! That must have been just dreadful! I feel for your son too, having to see how idiots react to sick people. It shouldn't matter if you "Look" sick or not.....you have a handicap sticker/plates and that should say it all. period.......I guess in a perfect world, it would. Sorry again. Roxie

[leelee88]

OMG.. You know people like that make me so dang mad they really just dont get it.. Makes you just want to go over there and........ pee all over them... and say oops stress can cause me to have bladder problems.. Thats why I am handicap you idiot my bladder does not funtion like a normal bladder.......

[Ginny]

What a jerk. He has a real problem. I am sure he has outbursts like this often and you are not the first person he did this to. You did nothing wrong.

Ginny

[ICNDonna]

Some people don't deserve recognition. I know it's not easy, but ignoring him would probably have been just as effective. I'm sorry this happened --- he was just plain stupid!

Hugs,
Donna

[Briza]

I'm sorry this happened. I understand sometimes you just gotta let it out.
Leelee, great idea, would be easier if we were men!

[tigger_gal]

I am so sorry that people are so rude. (((hugs)))

[vm]

Totally understandable that you let him have it - especially since you were feeling crappy on top of him just being a loudmouth jerk. And how dare he say that stuff to you in front of your CHILD.

[MakinIT]

Yeah..Donna I know but I was so angry and he took me by such surprise...and I'm a hothead...I was also with my child who is a hothead..She first said "mom, let it go" but as he continued to rant on about his dad she finally said what a jerk and as I was saying " I know nothing about your dad , as you know nothing about my sister who is in a wheelchair" (some of the most capable people I know are in wheelchairs and it's so stupid people see that fused people/wheelchair icon and think that only W/C's should be be in the spot. I was so mad I couldn't even remember what I stopped for (Bandaids...that took me ten minutes of forhead rubbing)
I DO remember seeing a lady look at me as I was giving this guy his what for and she made eye contact and was laughing but the guy whipped around so she looked back down. Apparently something I said was funny but I don't remember..my daughter said I said a couple "burns" but couldn't remember. OH well....I get that way when I'm mad.

Tracey

[kadi]

You know, he was probably just waiting to pick a fight with someone.

I nearly got run over at the post office. A car backed out of a space so fast I had to jump out of the way & I was so startled I yelled. The woman backed the car up, put her window down & started screaming & swearing at me. I lost my temper & yelled back, "You almost ran me over, watch where you're going." She called me a "b----" & kept screaming as I walked into the post office. I figured she probably wouldn't come inside to beat me up in front of witnesses, but it was scary.

I had some trouble on a plane when I got pre-boarded so I could have a seat near a restroom. I didn't want the pre-boarding, but that was the only way I could get the seating. Some guy said snidely, "Gee, I'd like to be pre-boarded too." & since I was in an airport far from home & figured I'd never see anyone again, I said, "Maybe if you're very very lucky, Santa will bring you a disabling bladder condition & then you too can get a seat near a restroom by pre-boarding with people making comments." His wife looked like she wanted to crawl under the tarmac.

Yeah, it's probably not the safest thing to go off on people, but sometimes it's just really really hard not to.

[MakinIT]

Yeh, I'll bet he's fun to be married to.... I like your reply to the ass at the airport.

You know, there are times when I do feel a little guilty, when I pull into a spot and someone pulls into a spot next to me and is getting out with oxygen and can barely walk..they stare at me like "***...you're abusing someone's DMV card..." which I'm sure this guy thought...but I guess I need to somehow figure out how to put a visual meter on myself to show my pain level...but even then, I don't think people would care...Unless you have equipment attached to you, you don't count.

Thanks..I'm glad I'm not the only one who uses these...Oh...and kadi...My eldest daughter, when she was 4 we lived in apts that had garages attached to ours. People could rent the garages, usually for storage. Someone had rented one to put her car in and she would start her car in the AM and we could smell fuel in our house, figured out it was coming in through the daughters closet. We complained to managers, they said we were just smelling cars going by in the AM. But he put a CO detector in...I went around one morning when I could smell the fumes and she was just starting to back out. When she had pulled out, I got her attention and she scowled at me but put her window down a crack. I explained the problem and asked if she could warm up her car with the garage door open and tail pipe out the door...her exhaust was going into a 4 year old's room. She told me to F.Off...that was not her problem, she paid for that garage. I was shocked. First time it occured to me that people wouldn't care about small children.
(AND the CO detector went off a few days later and we were immediately moved to their executive suite for a month ,,,it was furnished....while they waited for a three bedroom to open...we got 3 free months, they moved our stuff for free and only charged us a 2 bedroom price....we only wanted the seal fixed between the garage and apartment. I think they were afraid we were going to sue.)

Tracey

[MakinIT]

Part of my anger today

I am really angry with the guy from Safeway and if prior history has any indication, I'll stew for a while. I did when some dude did that in Bellevue..And it's because that there is nothing I can say or do that changes their ignorant minds. I grew up with disabilities all around me, I participated in service projects as youth..between summer camp counseling and actually working with youth who were disabled in summer camps when I was in college...My sister was disabled...I spent a year paralyzed...I know WHAT he believes to be the typical disability. And everything else is a boo boo you can take a pill for. I hate this.
I'm also very sad and very angry b/c my best friend's bladder cancer is back. I saw him on Tuesday, he looked great....spent 30 minutes just trying to work this painful area out on my neck, then he worked down to my lower back. I neededto see him today because my neck went nuts again and my arm was numb. So, when I saw him at his office, he looked terrible. No sleep, hair messy, eyes red....I knew. He was talking robotically...I finally just grabbed his hand and said "Greg...what is going on? There's something with your cancer..." and he had a PET scan, which he needed prior to starting his mega chemo next week. (Lance Armstrong's treatment) His lymph nodes are mild to mod swollen in 6 places instead of 2, a small tumor has started back on his bladder and he is having difficulty urinating again, and the Coup de grace is 2 spots on his liver. He says the team at OHSU will most likely not treat him now and tell him to let nature take its course. I am so, so, so in shock. He was doing well. And he suddenly goes down the toilet. His urologist did a distention/cystoscopy under anastesia less than a year ago. He had to have seen the original tumor then, but he called it I.C. I've always been very fond of Greg and he of me, we've just had a great relationship from the start. If we were single we would have ruined our friendship by dating He is very in tune with people's bodies, and he know's mine and all of it' little quirKs (except , you know,,,, ) AND amazingly can take the pain from my bladder in a very odd way...Too strange to explain on the board, he has quite literally saved me. AND dammit, it was a lazy doctor whoscrewed it up. I want to do something but I dont know what.

Thank goodness I have you guys to talk to.

[GriffsMommy]

I hate to say that I can believe this happened but it doesn't suprise me at all. I used to work in the call center for the DOT in my state. People would actually call us to find out how to get a handicap placard issued and stuff. I had people several times call up and say that someone had one that shouldn't. One of the reasons for one is having heart problems. I would always get really mad at these people and say that you can't see all disabilities by looking at a person and a doctor has to fill out a form to get one. If someone is using one that isn't there's sooner or later they will be asked to show the ID card that goes with it and they will get in trouble.

I had a similar situation that really upset me at a store but it was about WIC (women, infant, children) they give you free milk and stuff for your young kids. I called hubby on the cell phone one day to tell him I was on the way home while they were ringing up my stuff. The old woman behind me said, how can you afford a cell phone and have WIC, it's my tax money paying for that. I was so shocked I almost died. I said, I meet the requirements and it's a federal program so you would have to complain to your senetor or something. You could tell the check out girl was totally shocked and felt so bad for me. Some people are just stupid and don't deserve their voices to talk.

[MakinIT]

Yes Christine: You must prostate yourself on the ground and cover yourself in soot, beseeching the blessing of all who pass you on what you may and may not buy because you have some assistance from the government!!!! FOR PETES SAKE!!!! It's not like cell phones are overwhelmingly expensive anymore. Many families choose cells over landlines now anyway b/c it is cheaper. And..maybe someone else in your family is helping you by paying for it, maybe not ....whatever...who cares? What is it with people sticking their damn noses into everyone else's business? My husband told me last night that one time we pulled into the same Safeway and it was a very bad day for me. He actually dropped me at the door and then turned into a H/c spot. I had to go in because it was something specific I was looking for and couldn't explain it to him. He got out of the car and jogged in to the Starbucks inside the door to wait for me. Of course, someone approaches him...he obviously looks very questionable (it was pouring rain so he ran in the door) My husband started out reasonably explaining "I dropped my wife at the door, it's hers, and we will have to go back out.." The guy went on a rant. (prob the same man...it's the same spot) I guess he saw me get out and didn't think I looked disabled although I know held up traffic because I was in a lot of pain. Oh, and I am fairly young still, and look it, so they assume I'm just lazy, ....My husband finally said, laughing at him " are you a doctor?" and then....the guy just sputtered and left. I wrote a letter to the local Columbian letter, just to explain the process a person has to go through to get a placard....I doubt it gets printed but I got alot off my chest..anyway...I'm less grumpy this AM...

[ICNDonna]

Try thinking of it this way: Those who have no idea of what others are experiencing, yet find the time to find fault are really not worth finding the time to notice! The only comment I can think of --- if you really feel they are worthy of comment is to simply say, "If ignorance is bliss, you must be totally blissful."

Warm hugs,
Donna