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  • #16
    Sarah,

    I'm sorry you are feeling a little *blue* lately. I am familiar with that feeling. My first husband was military and we made several moves to different states and I always felt this emptiness and sadness when I left the place I was used to and in a strange town, faced with making new friends, doctors, learning my way around, etc.

    But it DOES get better! I promise! Just give it a little more time and it will feel like home before you know it.

    Big hugs,
    Kara
    Hugs and Wishes for Pain FREE days!!,
    Kara


    www.loveforearth.net ~reducing plastic waste one bag at a time~

    Facebook: Kara Kaiser
    Twitter: Love4Earth

    Me and my Guccigirl... she helps me through those painful hours!

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    • #17
      therapist

      you know..these ladies on here...suggested i see a therapist.

      i thought..a therapist can't help me...the problem is not IN my head
      its in my bladder...

      but i went anyway

      and boy..it really helped!

      and i found it neat to have someone pick at your brain
      and we just talk.
      she determined my mother was the root cause of all my problems..lol
      go figure..
      anyway so..as therapy..i had to write a letter to my mother and get it all out..off my chest, you know...(never mail it of course)...and it really helped.

      evidently, the way we stress out over stupid crap..is not supposed to happen. .so once they figure out the root cause...face it..and move on

      as a skeptic...i can tell you it helped me
      and thank you ladies for suggesting it
      couldnt hurt, right?
      Quit ELMIRON due to hair loss
      Cystoprotek ROCKS!

      find me on FACEBOOK -
      search my email [email protected]

      Current Meds:
      AM Cystoprotek & ATARAX 50mg
      Dinner CYSTOPROTEK
      PM Elavil 25mg

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      • #18
        Sarah,

        Sending you a big hug from the other end of the mild of know where.

        I am by no mean qualified to say your depressed but it seems like you have had a complete world change slap you in the face. I would say in could take some time to adjust to this and I am sure some sad times will be involved. If you ever need anything from one small town mild of know where girl to another let me know.
        Last edited by dancemomof2; 06-15-2007, 08:48 AM.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by IC SARAH-CPP View Post
          Barb, I am SO happy to hear Lindsay is coming HOME to you. Is this a permanent arrangement? I really hope so for your sake.
          I have been thinking about taking classes at the college near Hilo. I loved school and thought it would make me feel better to be doing something. That and I can get out of the house, away from the in-laws! I can imagine you would miss Hawaii, I already miss it when I leave there and I havent lived there long at all.
          I have so much respect for all of you here who have kids. I knew I wasnt ready for children and taking care of my nephew is so hard but also can be rewarding. I just feel so sorry for him. What kind of future can a child like that have. I also just cant believe his mom just DOES NOT care about. My mom would do anything for me, and has, and most other moms I have met are the same way but she just isn't. She doesnt know anything about how he does in school, what he likes/dislikes, or just any of that stuff.
          Thanks for backing me up Sandy. I DO feel mean sometimes but discipline isnt mean! Kids NEED boundaries and rules. I dont believe in being overly strict but come on, doing the dishes 2 times a week is NOT child abuse! I will take your advice about the routine though b/c I often feel him at different times and he will do his schoolwork at different times too. I would love to get him in counseling but so far I havent had any luck. He really is a sweet kid though. He hugs me so tight and tells me he loves me!
          One positive thing is I read to him every night and he has become engrossed in Harry Potter. He begs me to keep reading when I am done. I figure it is a start, right?
          I feel so much better already ladies. You guys mean so much to me and can cheer me up when no one else can! I am crying again, sniff sniff.
          Sarah
          Sarah,

          I just read your post and subsequent posts and although I dont know you because I'm new here I have to tell you that I applaud you in every way. You ask "what kind of future can a child like that have?" Honey - that child can have a BETTER future because YOU are in it - thats what kind of future he can have. He can have ANY future he desires because you are taking the time, love, nurturing, and place of his mother, showing him he is WORTHY of love, compassion, understanding and that he means something to someone.

          You asked what your purpose was, that you felt like you were just "there" - yet you answered your own question sweetie. Your purpose is right in front of you. Had you not moved to Hawaii, that little boy would not have a fighting chance in hell to know what true love and compassion is. Is there a Boys and Girls Club locally that you may be able to enroll him in? Usually they arent very expensive and perhaps that is the best way to get him involved with other children and physically started on a fitness program, as well as introducing him to more positive role models in his life so that he can see he CAN be whatever he wants to be in life? There are people who donate their time once or twice a week who will devote an hour or 2 to him and him alone (become his "big brother") that he can call and meet on designated play days, just like you would meet your best friend for coffee and a chat - he would be able to do that too. Another "father figure" sort of thing. That way you and your husband can catch a little breather too and someone else can sort of fill in and help him to learn different things too, especially respect and responsibility and accountability, but moreso - trust and compassion. Just an idea.

          Keep doing what you're doing and look at your situation from another angle. You're doing a great job and should be commended - I applaud you and your husband! And..agree with the others too -it never hurts to talk to a therapist or counselor either because sometimes, we just need to talk about things to a stranger who is unbiased and doesnt know us - that way we cant be "judged" in any way, shape or form.

          Keep up the great work and feel better soon, you're doing great!

          Brittany
          Last edited by BrittanysDance; 06-15-2007, 03:44 AM.

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          • #20
            Sara,
            sending you really big hugs and lots of good vibes,
            'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

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            • #21
              Wow, thank you so much for the post Brittany! That really made my day. I know I have heard lots of parents say they have so doubts about whether they are parenting right but I just didnt know the doubts would be so strong and worriesome!
              I also wanted to clarify that in my post i said I FEEL him at different times but I meant I FEED him at different times! I dont go around feeling him, lol. Not that that is funny really.
              That is an awesome suggestion about the girls and boys club. I am going to have my hubby look in to that right away. You are right, it would be nice for us to have a little breather every once in awhile.I just lined up a tutor for him for the summer and he is going to summer school, so I am hoping that will give him a little boost for next year. I also had a conference with his teacher before I left and she seemed encouraged by the progress he was making. He has moved up one grade level in reading, which is great.
              I do have a kinda general question for all the parents on here? I know this is a hard issue but how do most of you feel about TV watching? I have tried to severely restrict his TV and most of all, his video games but my girlfriend said those things can be helpful if you are careful about what they watch? I know everyone has different opinions but I was just curious about how others felt.
              Leslie and Tigger, thank you so much for the kind words. Like I said, I feel so much better already! I love all you ladies.
              Sarah
              Current meds; , effexor 37.5 mg 2 times a day, and lyrica 100 mg 3 times a day, lots of reading and snuggling with the pets!

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