Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Could be the End of my Marriage ...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    I sincerely hope that, with the help of a counselor, you will be able to work things out between the two of you. And if that's not possible (sadly) you will be at peace with your decision.

    Sending gentle hugs,
    Donna
    Stay safe


    Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
    Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

    Have you checked the ICN Shop?
    Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

    Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

    Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

    Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

    AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

    I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
    [3MG]

    Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

    Comment


    • #17
      I am so sorry you're going through this! It sounds like you love one another and that's got to count for something. I am praying for you.

      Vicki
      "The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have."

      Comment


      • #18
        Hugs and Prayers for you! I've totally been in your shoes! I've been married 26 years now...some times were great and some times were very bad! Sailawaygrl mentioned blind faith...you have to trust that he really loves you and he has to believe that you really love him! Love is worth fighting for! Hang in there and be encouraged...this too shall pass!

        ))))HUGS(((
        Aleet7
        DX'd with IC 5/08
        other Dx's~SVT: had Catheter
        Catheter Ablation Aug 19,2010
        Migraines, PFD, Hypertension,
        Prolapsed Pelvic
        Organs and Degenerative Disc
        Disease, Kidney stones, Insomnia
        Two bulging discs w/tears and osteo
        arthritis in multiple joints in the spine



        Current Meds:Elmiron 400 mg per day
        Benicar Hct 40-25mg for Hypertension
        Norvasc 2.5
        Vicoden as needed for pain
        Cymbalta 30 mg
        Prelief
        CystaQ
        Prosed
        Lidoderm Patch


        Psalm 121
        I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.


        "Be Kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"

        Comment


        • #19
          Last night my husband went to dinner with one of his buddies and while he was gone I decided I needed to take myself back to before the problems. Before the insecurities, before the trust issues - so I put on one of his shirts, pulled out our box of letters from when he was at boot camp and I just read and read and read.

          Reading those letters always takes me back to the feelings of butterflies and pure excitement at the thought of seeing my husband. They take me back to the days when we fought to keep our relationship together and we'd only been dating for a few months. They take me back to the days when I was confident and sure of our relationship and sure of our love.

          Those letters remind me of what it was like to live without my husband.

          When he got home from dinner with his buddy the entire aura around us was different. I'm not sure if it was him, me or a combination of both of us, but for the first time in a week it felt like we were back on solid ground. It felt like we were back to us.

          The biggest part of my problem is my negative thinking so I've got to fight with everything I have to ensure I push the negative thoughts out and keep the positive ones flowing.

          Thank you all for the thoughts!

          Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
          it's about learning to dance in the rain.


          ♥♥♥♥♥

          ♥♥♥♥♥

          Comment


          • #20
            Yay!!!!!! That is amazing! That was a great idea to read old letters! We all need to rekindle the fire we once had! I am so happy for you!!!!

            Best Wishes,
            Aleet7
            DX'd with IC 5/08
            other Dx's~SVT: had Catheter
            Catheter Ablation Aug 19,2010
            Migraines, PFD, Hypertension,
            Prolapsed Pelvic
            Organs and Degenerative Disc
            Disease, Kidney stones, Insomnia
            Two bulging discs w/tears and osteo
            arthritis in multiple joints in the spine



            Current Meds:Elmiron 400 mg per day
            Benicar Hct 40-25mg for Hypertension
            Norvasc 2.5
            Vicoden as needed for pain
            Cymbalta 30 mg
            Prelief
            CystaQ
            Prosed
            Lidoderm Patch


            Psalm 121
            I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.


            "Be Kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Linda May View Post
              I agree with donna, but sadly but true I was a devoted wife of thirty years and my husband left me 10 days ago.

              He never was a good husband or father I would always turn the other cheek, because he suffers from depression.

              Now even though I stood by him all those years in sickness, health, for richer or poorer, he left me.

              I ask him what did I do; He looked at me straight in the face and said your sick and I do not love you anymore!

              I am still in total shock I get angry,sad,depressed and feel so betrayed.

              From the last three months all the signs were there, he bought all new clothes, used his cell phone in private ect.

              I loved him and I really thought deep down inside he loved me, but our marriage apparently from his point was all a lie.

              He used me as much as he good until I got sick with IC, depression, nerve damage, bone spur, bulging disk in neck, shoulder damage ect.

              I pretty much kept my figure up so I guess he just wants a newer model perhaps a 1966.

              I feel sorry for anyone who dates him or falls for him because he is a liar, cheating and by no means a man.

              I do hope your marrige works out and I wish you the best.

              I wish I could have predicted the future I would not even dated my husband.

              Oh by the way I was a very faithful understanding devoted wife who got thrown away like I was garbage.

              The only thing that keeps me going is this ic forum ,friends,family and last but not least god.

              You know my sister has always said what don't kill you will make you stronger.
              I am also very sorry to hear this Linda May. I went through a divorce and know how horrible it is! I will pray for you. Like you, God has been my everything and without Him I am nothing.

              CarolinaGal... My opinion about this is that you should stay and get counseling like others have suggested. You love him, so try to make it work! I assume he feels the same way about you! If that's the case, then you can work through it. If you recognize that you have your own issues to work through, then do so. It could be a good thing for you and your relationship.
              Frances

              Diagnosed: 2011 - have had symptoms for over 20 years. Diagnoses so far: Overactive Bladder, then IC, and now Myofacial Pelvic Pain Syndrome.

              Medicines: For IC am doing PT, and will be taking Gabapentin, Ativan, Tramadol and Ambien. Ice packs and drinking vanilla shakes help. Foods that cause a flare, tomatoes, yogurt, coffee, soda, all sports drinks, and most teas. Take Verapamil, Naproxen (as needed), Omeprazole, Frova (as needed) and receive Botox shots(every three months) for migraines. For allergies I use Claritin and Flonase. (Feel free to ask me any questions about meds.)

              Other conditions: Migraines, allergies, mild IBS.


              "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (Matthew 21:22)

              Comment


              • #22
                So very difficult trying to deal with a partner who does not understand what you are going through, and then having issues as well that are different from yours but perhaps related. I agree, a little counselling cannot hurt, even if he only agrees to one session. Sometimes guys are not open to that stuff, and sometimes even just once with an impartial party can help them see the light. Sorry for you, hope you find your answer no matter what. At least you will know what to do. Jill, wife of Bob

                Comment


                • #23
                  Linda May,I went exactly what you went through,except the guy was really emotionally abusive/narcissistic and he used me for all i had and then discarded me like trash.When I asked him why "You're no fun anymore"... this was around the time I was starting to get sick/have symptoms of IC.I feel your pain.I listen to that song sometimes too.Another one is "Still Standing" by Monica.I don't know how I'm going to date with this IC because it seems no one in the non-IC world seems to understand it. I may have to find a man with the same thing but it hurts me inside to know that it will be painful for either of us to make love.I seriously don't feel normal anymore and may be seeking counseling as well.I have no friends,except online friends.Family doesnt think the pain is as bad as it is and it will magically go away sigh...
                  Newly IC diagnosed as of February 2011.

                  Medications I'm on that seem to work:
                  Zoloft- one once a day
                  Butrans pain patch 5 mcg (THANK GOD FOR WHOEVER INVENTED THIS!SO MUCH PAIN RELIEF ITS UNREAL,I AM IN NO PAIN AT ALL UNLESS I STRESS OR SCREW UP ON THE DIET)

                  Failed Meds:
                  Elmiron-after 4 months,digestive side effects got to be too much
                  tramadol-allergic
                  DMSO treatments(5-6)
                  probiotics

                  THERAPIES:gardening,cooking,IC Diet,Counseling,Lots of warm baths,stress reduction,heating pad or ice packs,meditation/deep breathing,listening to relaxing music,having fun on pain free days,drinking chamomile or peppermint tea,pelvic floor physical therapy
                  AROMATHERAPY-candles,incense
                  Village Naturals Aches and Pains Peppermint Bath Salts
                  Johnson and Johnsons Lavender Melt Away Stress Body Wash/Lotion

                  ACUPUNCTURE/HERBS
                  Significant pain relief so far.

                  MAY TRY:yoga,swimming/hydrotherapy and anti-candida diet if i can kick my sugar addiction
                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  ***TO MY IC SISTERS AND BROTHERS:WE ARE OUR OWN ADVOCATES!,PLEASE DO AS MUCH RESEARCH ON YOUR OWN AS POSSIBLE AND TRY DIFFERENT TREATMENTS TO GET WELL.NOT ONE TREATMENT WORKS FOR EVERYONE.MOST IMPORTANTLY,TRY TO KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE,DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVITY/NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND NEVER,EVER GIVE UP!***

                  Add me on facebook Angela Hasic

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
                  where there is hatred, let me sow love;
                  when there is injury, pardon;
                  where there is doubt, faith;
                  where there is despair, hope;
                  where there is darkness, light;
                  and where there is sadness, joy.
                  Grant that I may not so much seek
                  to be consoled as to console;
                  to be understood, as to understand,
                  to be loved as to love;
                  for it is in giving that we receive,
                  it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
                  and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    song

                    I listened to the song I liked it, thankyou we are all struggling with this IC.
                    When husbands or boyfriends walkout it's apparent they did not love us in the first place. I pray for my soon to be es-husband that he finds God before he passes on. What he has done was destroy me mentally and physically but, he will not destroy my spirit with God.
                    <center>
                    <a href="http://s1086.photobucket.com/albums/j441/linda5552/?action=view&amp;current=Picture005.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j441/linda5552/th_Picture005.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a>
                    </center>

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      No, he did not destroy you. You can recover from this. Take care of yourself first, mentally and physically, and the world will fall back into place. Lots of couples go through this, sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not. But YOU YOURSELF have to be strong enough to handle whatever may come your way. It may behoove you to speak with a counsellor, at least once, get it all out to an impartial party. Living with it over your head is not going to help your medical conditions and may worsen them. You stll have a life to live and people who love you. Focus on the future and moving on, and if it eventually works out with him, than so be it, but don't sit around like a teenager waiting for that. If you show him how strong you are on your own two feet, he may regret what he has done, and you may say "sorry, too late." That would be empowering for you.

                      And good for you Carolina, hope everything works out for you. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Wish you both the very best. Jill, wife of Bob

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        A Little Bit stronger

                        Hi all, I am getting a little bit stronger I still have my weak days.
                        It has been only three weeks but, I know that I am going to be allright.
                        All of you on this forum are like sisters and brothers to me. We share with each other and we all have a common bond.I want to give everyone here a big hug.Thankyou all so much for your support.
                        <center>
                        <a href="http://s1086.photobucket.com/albums/j441/linda5552/?action=view&amp;current=Picture005.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j441/linda5552/th_Picture005.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a>
                        </center>

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Linda May View Post
                          Hi all, I am getting a little bit stronger I still have my weak days.
                          It has been only three weeks but, I know that I am going to be allright.
                          All of you on this forum are like sisters and brothers to me. We share with each other and we all have a common bond.I want to give everyone here a big hug.Thankyou all so much for your support.
                          Hugs right back at you honey. You're a strong woman. And I'm very proud of the way you are handling all of this. I can't even begin to understand how hard it is, but you should've very proud of yourself just for putting one foot in front of the other. Have a Good night Linda, I care about you.
                          Katie-46 yr old female dx'd with IC after 15 years of symptoms off and on long term antibiotic use, GERD,IBS and now IC diet, gallbladder removed, endometrial ablation w/tubes tied
                          Lexapro-20 mg
                          Aciphex
                          Ambien-as needed
                          Percocet-7.5 up to 3 per day as needed
                          Valium-10 mg x2 per day
                          Phenergan-1 at night
                          Prelief w/everything
                          Now recovering from acute pancreatitis

                          Currents treatments that help somewhat:
                          Heating pad
                          Hot baths
                          Ice
                          Being VERY still while lying down with legs elevated

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Hugs for you Linda May! I pray that you continue to get stronger and take good care of yourself! We here are just like family....we cry together, we laugh together and we pray for one another! I can't begin to imagine that I know what you're going through. I just pray that in some small way I can help you feel a little bit better! We are all here for you. I have a great ear for listening. Don't ever hesitate to pm me.

                            )))HUGS(((
                            Aleet7
                            DX'd with IC 5/08
                            other Dx's~SVT: had Catheter
                            Catheter Ablation Aug 19,2010
                            Migraines, PFD, Hypertension,
                            Prolapsed Pelvic
                            Organs and Degenerative Disc
                            Disease, Kidney stones, Insomnia
                            Two bulging discs w/tears and osteo
                            arthritis in multiple joints in the spine



                            Current Meds:Elmiron 400 mg per day
                            Benicar Hct 40-25mg for Hypertension
                            Norvasc 2.5
                            Vicoden as needed for pain
                            Cymbalta 30 mg
                            Prelief
                            CystaQ
                            Prosed
                            Lidoderm Patch


                            Psalm 121
                            I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.


                            "Be Kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              linda-another two songs i like is i feel beautiful by fantasia and i'm doin me by her. im a bit of a big r&B fan.ive found that music really helps me get through breakups because theres alot of female artists out there who have self empowering songs for women.a friend told me once we as women sometimes lose ourself/our interests etc in relationships with these men that didnt love us from the start and they are not worth our tears.someone better for you will come along.i'm sure its hard especially in a marriage where youve been together so long but you WILL get through this,so will Carolina.If theyre truly worth it they will stick around and want to work on the issues as far as counseling and all that.
                              If not,sometimes we are better off alone till another comes along and sweeps us off our feet.everything happens for a reason.we dont know why.only god knows why.just like i dont know why i was cursed with ic. i try not to let myself think its punishment from god or anything but sometimes i feel that way because of my past with men.
                              Last edited by flowerangela; 02-15-2011, 01:23 PM. Reason: added more
                              Newly IC diagnosed as of February 2011.

                              Medications I'm on that seem to work:
                              Zoloft- one once a day
                              Butrans pain patch 5 mcg (THANK GOD FOR WHOEVER INVENTED THIS!SO MUCH PAIN RELIEF ITS UNREAL,I AM IN NO PAIN AT ALL UNLESS I STRESS OR SCREW UP ON THE DIET)

                              Failed Meds:
                              Elmiron-after 4 months,digestive side effects got to be too much
                              tramadol-allergic
                              DMSO treatments(5-6)
                              probiotics

                              THERAPIES:gardening,cooking,IC Diet,Counseling,Lots of warm baths,stress reduction,heating pad or ice packs,meditation/deep breathing,listening to relaxing music,having fun on pain free days,drinking chamomile or peppermint tea,pelvic floor physical therapy
                              AROMATHERAPY-candles,incense
                              Village Naturals Aches and Pains Peppermint Bath Salts
                              Johnson and Johnsons Lavender Melt Away Stress Body Wash/Lotion

                              ACUPUNCTURE/HERBS
                              Significant pain relief so far.

                              MAY TRY:yoga,swimming/hydrotherapy and anti-candida diet if i can kick my sugar addiction
                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                              ***TO MY IC SISTERS AND BROTHERS:WE ARE OUR OWN ADVOCATES!,PLEASE DO AS MUCH RESEARCH ON YOUR OWN AS POSSIBLE AND TRY DIFFERENT TREATMENTS TO GET WELL.NOT ONE TREATMENT WORKS FOR EVERYONE.MOST IMPORTANTLY,TRY TO KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE,DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVITY/NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND NEVER,EVER GIVE UP!***

                              Add me on facebook Angela Hasic

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                              Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
                              where there is hatred, let me sow love;
                              when there is injury, pardon;
                              where there is doubt, faith;
                              where there is despair, hope;
                              where there is darkness, light;
                              and where there is sadness, joy.
                              Grant that I may not so much seek
                              to be consoled as to console;
                              to be understood, as to understand,
                              to be loved as to love;
                              for it is in giving that we receive,
                              it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
                              and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Thankyou for your inspiring words flowerangela, I am gettin stronger every day.

                                I pray alot but, I am shamefully to say I worry sometimes and I should'nt.

                                I know its going to be very stressful and upsetting when the divorce becomes closer and closer to the court date.

                                I continue to go to church and call family and friends as needed for emotional support as well as this forum.

                                I feel like we are all sisters and brothers here and all of us contribute in one way or another.

                                Whether we exchange recipes or tell a joke or give good advice.

                                Hugs to everyone and god bless each and everyone of us, thankyou again.
                                <center>
                                <a href="http://s1086.photobucket.com/albums/j441/linda5552/?action=view&amp;current=Picture005.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j441/linda5552/th_Picture005.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a>
                                </center>

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X