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FUNNY BONE (Midlife)

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  • FUNNY BONE (Midlife)


    I thought this ANONYMOUS material might be a funny way to end the week. I hope you get a good chuckle out of this.

    Midlife is when the growth of hair
    of our legs slows down.
    This gives us plenty of time to care
    for our newly acquired mustache.

    In midlife women no longer have
    upper arms, we have wingspans.
    We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts,
    we are flying squirrels in drag.

    Midlife is when you can stand
    naked in front of a mirror and
    you can see your rear without turning around.

    Midlife is when you go for a mammogram
    and you realize that this is the only time
    someone will ask you to appear topless.

    Midlife is when you want to grab every
    firm young lovely in a tube top and scream,
    "Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell and
    those will too."

    Midlife brings wisdom to know
    that life throws us curves and
    we're sitting on our biggest ones.

    Midlife is when you look at your know-it-all,
    beeper-wearing teenager and think:
    "For this I have stretch marks?"

    In midlife your memory starts to go.
    In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

    Midlife means that your Body By Jake
    now includes Legs by Rand McNally - more
    red and blue lines than an accurately scaled
    map of Wisconsin.

    Midlife means that you become more reflective
    - You start pondering the "big" questions.
    What is life? Why am I here?
    How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat
    before it's no longer a healthy choice?

    But midlife also brings with it
    an appreciation for what is important.
    We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and
    chins double, but our loved ones make the
    journey worthwhile.

    Would any of you trade the knowledge
    that you have now for the body you had
    way back when?
    Maybe our bodies simply have to expand
    to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.

    That my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!!

    Thanks to all of you who have been so kind and supportive during my struggles these past four months not only with IC, UTIs, severe osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, osteitis pubis, hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia, etc. but in addition I have been fighting a serious intestinal infection called C.Difficile. It has been a very scary time not only because my bowel almost ruptured but all the stress on my body caused my heart to go crazy and I had to be rushed into Acute Care. But I am lucky to be alive and that is the main thing. Hopefully, in time, the infection will be a thing of the past.
    This site has been a real source of comfort and support during these past four months and I am very grateful to have had it to come to. Thank you all so very much!!

    And thanks again to Jill and Donna for the new board on books and magazines. I love it!


  • #2
    That was great I really got a good chuckle and it was uplifting too, thanks for sharing. Glad the infection is getting under control. <img src="graemlins/hi.gif" border="0" alt="[hi]" />

    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." --Helen Keller