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When was the last time you let somebody touch you? hug you?? hold your hand?? If you are where I was when my IC began, odds are that you’ve backed away from everyone as you struggle to cope with what can be agonizing symptoms. Touch? I didn’t want anyone to touch me because, in those early days, my pain and discomfort seemed like an impregnable fortress. Safety was hiding in my room with a heating pad and, for some months, tears flowing down my face.
Let’s face it. Any disease, injury and/or painful condition has a ripple effect on our lives.* Rather than socialize with friends, we often choose to stay home. Family get togethers seem like a burden rather than a joy. Sex? When my IC symptoms were at their worst, I was far more tempted to slug a man than allow him to comfort and hold me. Back off was the message that my body, my heart and my soul gave to everyone in my life* despite the fact that I knew it wasn’t right or wasn’t healthy. Naturally, they did back off. Who wouldn’t?*
It was about two years after my symptoms started and that I went to a friends house where, much to my surprise, a few other friends had gathered. After numerous hugs and smiles, I was stunned by their kindness and realized that I had been starving myself of friendship and affection.
Pain isolates us from those light, brilliant moments of companionship that can make each day joyful and, worse, it denies us those tender, daily moments of touch that we certainly deserve.* When your child comes home crying from school, don’t you normally hug them and ask them what’s wrong?* How do you console a grieving friend? You hug them! Then why do we have such difficulty offering a hug to the adults around us and why is it so difficult for us to ask for a hug when we’re struggling with pain.
I want you to break out of isolation. It’s time to step out of bedroom when you can, leave the house and find the sunshine again. And try to share it with those around you by committing one random act of kindness a day, preferably an act of touch. Hugs, kisses, touches, laughter, love! For I believe that every act you give out, you will receive back ten fold. Let’s not walk in shame nor blame. You and I have done nothing to deserve IC nor is it our fault. We have every right with to walk into a room with our heads held high, deserving respect and love from those around us.
“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” - Author Unknown!
Let’s face it. Any disease, injury and/or painful condition has a ripple effect on our lives.* Rather than socialize with friends, we often choose to stay home. Family get togethers seem like a burden rather than a joy. Sex? When my IC symptoms were at their worst, I was far more tempted to slug a man than allow him to comfort and hold me. Back off was the message that my body, my heart and my soul gave to everyone in my life* despite the fact that I knew it wasn’t right or wasn’t healthy. Naturally, they did back off. Who wouldn’t?*
It was about two years after my symptoms started and that I went to a friends house where, much to my surprise, a few other friends had gathered. After numerous hugs and smiles, I was stunned by their kindness and realized that I had been starving myself of friendship and affection.
Pain isolates us from those light, brilliant moments of companionship that can make each day joyful and, worse, it denies us those tender, daily moments of touch that we certainly deserve.* When your child comes home crying from school, don’t you normally hug them and ask them what’s wrong?* How do you console a grieving friend? You hug them! Then why do we have such difficulty offering a hug to the adults around us and why is it so difficult for us to ask for a hug when we’re struggling with pain.
I want you to break out of isolation. It’s time to step out of bedroom when you can, leave the house and find the sunshine again. And try to share it with those around you by committing one random act of kindness a day, preferably an act of touch. Hugs, kisses, touches, laughter, love! For I believe that every act you give out, you will receive back ten fold. Let’s not walk in shame nor blame. You and I have done nothing to deserve IC nor is it our fault. We have every right with to walk into a room with our heads held high, deserving respect and love from those around us.
“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” - Author Unknown!
are with you all. May you all find a way to peace and joy in your lives.
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