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The Power of Touch

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  • flowerangela
    replied
    touch does help and is healing. wishing i could get a monthly massage for free like alot of cancer patients do.

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  • Mothergoose
    replied
    You know the thing do one random act of kindness, and it will snowball, other people will pass it along. I think hugs are this way too.

    Give a hug get a hug.

    My FIL is 96, his wife passed 19 years ago.

    My SIL and I took him to an out of town for a colenoscopy. It was a 6 hour car ride each way, I said if she drove I would take care of my FIL's needs. A good deal for me, I don't really like to drive and she doesn't do well with hands on care.

    We rode in her car and my FIL just could not get the seat belt on and off, so each time we got in or out of the car I had to belt him in.

    On our way home after a couple of tough days it was late I was getting very tired, and quietly said to my SIL I am starting to feel like I am traveling with a toddler and have to belt him in to a car seat over and over again.

    I knew my very deaf FIL had taken his hearing aids out, but just as I long suspected he hers much more than he lets onto, because the next thing I heard was "well at least I get a hug every time".

    I thought about it after wards they are not a very touchy feely family, so I realized he probably misses the contact, so I try to make sure I touch him when ever I can, and you what I notice others touching him more now too.

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  • healingthoughts
    replied
    Hugs for you Jill !!

    I can totally relate to your comment about being single with IC. It is very, very hard.

    And the worst thing is, we may never find someone who will accept us with this condition.

    I hope and pray that a cure is found soon !!

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  • Trishann
    replied
    So true Jill and sending many hugs H U G S!!!!

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  • Mothergoose
    replied
    Funny you should write about this now. It is such a coincidence in my life right now.

    My youngest went on a 11 mon student exchange, I have missed him terribly, we are very close, some of my darkest day with IC he has made life worth it all.

    He is very affectionate and has always hugged and gave me a kiss goodbye anywhere, even at school in front of his friends.

    I really miss my hugs from him.

    Quite a few of his friends went off to University, and many moved on in search for work, some choose to go traveling, so I not only did I loose him for the year but also the whole troupe of kids, as our house has always been the hang out house.

    It is spring and the University kids are arriving home for the summer, each time I see one I give them a big hug, and boy do I get some strong hugs back, then I tell them I need another hug from them for my son, as I miss my hugs from him, they oblige me, it is so nice makes it a bit easier to deal with my son being gone.

    These kids all grew up in our house and they are family to us.

    Boys don't open up much but a hug speaks loudly. All these boys left as boy and have returned as young men.

    I consider this such a gift.

    MG

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  • Tura
    replied
    So true

    Wells aid and so true Jill. Hugss
    Donna i agree.

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  • ICNDonna
    replied
    I agree 100%. It can be extremely difficult to avoid pushing others away when we don't feel good. It's a tough lesson to learn, but we do need the support and love of our family and friends. Just remember that they want to be there for us.


    Donna

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  • icnmgrjill
    replied
    And I have to remind myself of this every day. Being single with IC is very very hard. I could really use a lot more hugs in my life much less some loving!

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  • bubbe1
    replied
    touch

    Thank you, Jill.
    This is lovely, and a good reminder for what is easily forgotten.
    Lauire

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  • icnmgrjill
    started a topic The Power of Touch

    The Power of Touch

    When was the last time you let somebody touch you? hug you?? hold your hand?? If you are where I was when my IC began, odds are that you’ve backed away from everyone as you struggle to cope with what can be agonizing symptoms. Touch? I didn’t want anyone to touch me because, in those early days, my pain and discomfort seemed like an impregnable fortress. Safety was hiding in my room with a heating pad and, for some months, tears flowing down my face.

    Let’s face it. Any disease, injury and/or painful condition has a ripple effect on our lives.* Rather than socialize with friends, we often choose to stay home. Family get togethers seem like a burden rather than a joy. Sex? When my IC symptoms were at their worst, I was far more tempted to slug a man than allow him to comfort and hold me. Back off was the message that my body, my heart and my soul gave to everyone in my life* despite the fact that I knew it wasn’t right or wasn’t healthy. Naturally, they did back off. Who wouldn’t?*

    It was about two years after my symptoms started and that I went to a friends house where, much to my surprise, a few other friends had gathered. After numerous hugs and smiles, I was stunned by their kindness and realized that I had been starving myself of friendship and affection.

    Pain isolates us from those light, brilliant moments of companionship that can make each day joyful and, worse, it denies us those tender, daily moments of touch that we certainly deserve.* When your child comes home crying from school, don’t you normally hug them and ask them what’s wrong?* How do you console a grieving friend? You hug them! Then why do we have such difficulty offering a hug to the adults around us and why is it so difficult for us to ask for a hug when we’re struggling with pain.

    I want you to break out of isolation. It’s time to step out of bedroom when you can, leave the house and find the sunshine again. And try to share it with those around you by committing one random act of kindness a day, preferably an act of touch. Hugs, kisses, touches, laughter, love! For I believe that every act you give out, you will receive back ten fold. Let’s not walk in shame nor blame. You and I have done nothing to deserve IC nor is it our fault. We have every right with to walk into a room with our heads held high, deserving respect and love from those around us.

    “This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” - Author Unknown!
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