About My Mom??

[nsj728]

My Mom has IC,has had for a couple of years now.I am trying very hard to understand about her pain.She has more bad days then good days anymore and I dont know what to do to help her.My heart is breaking for her and also for myself and her grandchildren Since being diagnosed with IC she has changed and is not the same mom I grew up with.She no longer has any joy in her life,I see more tears then laughter,it is to the point now where she has lost so much weight for fear of eating that I am afaid she is starving herself.I cannot imagine having to take a Zanax just to be able to eat,because she says the spasms get really bad just thinking about eating.My dad passed away 3 months ago and I know that is pressing hard on her heart,she is lonely and sad and greiving all at the same time on top of being in all this pain.Please someone help me out her as to what to do for mom?
Jackie

[BrendaD]

Each person with IC is different and what I need from the people around me might be different than your mom's needs. But, maybe this will help as I know this is what I would want from the people around me -- compassion, consideration and understanding. I used to be so active (work full time, exercise/play sports with my kids, clean house, cook big homemade meals). Well, I can't keep it all up anymore. I am so sleep deprived that I am lucky if I can keep my job -- but I need to because I am a single parent. And no one seems to understand! I just wish my kids (12 & 15) would ease up once in awhile -- when I say I am too tired to drive them somewhere or do something with them, I wish they would understand. Try to encourage your mom to take naps when she needs them and get as much rest as she can. Offer to help out with household chores -- make her a cup of tea and try to be there and be supportive. If she seems in pain, get her a hot water bottle (or hot magic bag). If she seems like she wants to talk about it, try to ask questions and REALLY understand what she is saying -- "What is is like to get up six times during the night", "What can I do to help"!

[nsj728]

Jill thank you for replying back,I appreciate it.Mom does rest alot but it does not seem to do her anygood..she was doing a little better a couple of weeks ago,but it all started back up again the whole cycle,do you know why that would happen.I also told her she has to eat or all the medication she is on will nor help her.
Jackie

[Teri]

You are such a great daughter to be so helpful and concerned about your mom! I have a daughter who sounds just like you...sometimes I need her to listen, sometimes I need her to get rough with me and drag me out of the house if I have been spending too many days feeling sorry for myself...called tough love I guess ;o) I commend you on the wonderful daughter that you are...your mom is a very lucky lady to have you in her live.

Originally posted by nsj728:
My Mom has IC,has had for a couple of years now.I am trying very hard to understand about her pain.She has more bad days then good days anymore and I dont know what to do to help her.My heart is breaking for her and also for myself and her grandchildren Since being diagnosed with IC she has changed and is not the same mom I grew up with.She no longer has any joy in her life,I see more tears then laughter,it is to the point now where she has lost so much weight for fear of eating that I am afaid she is starving herself.I cannot imagine having to take a Zanax just to be able to eat,because she says the spasms get really bad just thinking about eating.My dad passed away 3 months ago and I know that is pressing hard on her heart,she is lonely and sad and greiving all at the same time on top of being in all this pain.Please someone help me out her as to what to do for mom?
Jackie

[Julie B]

Jackie, one thing I picked up on in your letter was that your dad passed away three months ago. I wonder if you have called hospice for in-home counselling. This is done regardless of the cause of death or whether or not hospice was used. They have many resources, often free for people exactly like your mom. With someone to talk to maybe she will be able to focus and begin to cope better with the IC...let us know how she is doing. Hugs to you for posting. Julie B

[nsj728]

Thank you all for your advice it really helped.I love my mom and would do anything to make her better I have even prayed that God would give me the disease if my mom would not have to suffer any more I would take her place.I guess its not in His Will to do so.
Julie I did not know Hospice would do that I will call them and find out about that,
Thank You
Jackie