in between a rock and a hard place

[Dixiefireball]

i'm so sick of my mother in law everytime we go around her since her drug head daughter wanted her 14 year old son back we have been raiseing for over a year and half now. she is putting me down and do you think my husband will say anything HECK NO! what ever this friggin family does or says to me it is okay He don't take up for me we have been married 13 years i have bent over backwards to help his family money wise when I worked food even car and phone needless to say they messed my cerdit up! gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I don't know what to do i'm sick of them and i'm sick that my husband want stand up for me i'm about ready to say you can go live with them until you grow up gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! what would you do?

[Sue]

wow, sorry! i'll pray for u dixie. suc~
[email protected]~

[auntiedeb]

grouphug grouphug grouphug

[ICNJess]

Hi Rhonda--

Sorry that you are dealing with this on top of being sick!!!

If it were me, I'd tell my husband exactly what is bugging me and why. Stand your ground. There's no reason for his family to be treating you this way, and there's no reason to take that from him.

Lotsa luck, hugs, and love,
Jess grouphug kissing

[tigger_gal]

Rhonda grouphug kissing
You know what I would say toilet you know how to find me when you need me I am always here for you... I Love You Rhonda.
Cindy

[Dixiefireball]

thanks everyone,
Jess i have told him and he finally called his mother but its not over yet. i'm still angery i have cussed about this and fussed so its not over until i feel like they have said they was sorry and i havent heard that yet all his mother had to say is i havent treated rhonda like that but the heck she hasnt i think she wants to put everyone down just because her daughter is a drug addt. and she wants to put everyone down to her level well i hate to say it but i'm a better person then she is i keep my kids always have and plus we keep her child for over a year and half and the only reason she wanted him back was because her medicaid was going to be cut off and she couldnt get her drugs. without buying them off the streets or sleeping for them. if you know what i mean. i'm so angery maybe if i wasnt sick i wouldnt be so mad about this but this isnt helping one bit!

[Dixiefireball]

ps i will tell ya'll the whole story tomorrow when there isnt so many eyes around.

[jaime15]

Rhonda,
My sis is going through the same crap. OMG it coulda been her post you just wrote. eek
She made her hubby confront his mom one day when they were all there and she started one of her things. So sis gave her hubby the "eye" for you better stick up for me. Well he didn't do very well and she left. He had to get his mom to drive him home. scream
They've only partially worked on some of the in-laws problems. It's a long road ahead.
One thing is if he wants to go see his mother, he can go by hisself! You need to stay home girl and enjoy that alone time...Email me if you want to talk.. kissing

[Dixiefireball]

Am i promise here is the long story of my sister in law mother inlaw husband children and me.

WHY ME???
a year ago my mother in law was in the hosp and if it wasnt for me she would had died i found her in her house passed out truning pull gave her cpr and had my oldest child call 911.
ANYWAY
her drug head daughter was no where around My sister in law is on drugs really badly and know one will get her help they say when she wants help she will get it and she also shoplifts.
so my motherinlaw said she couldnt take care of tyler anymore my sister in laws child so we took him in and got him into school and treated him like one of our own. everything was fine until about a mth ago. My husband and I walk in her house and she jumps up out of the chair and said we got to get tyler back because tonya's medicaid is get turned off which we knew was a lie they send you a letter out and they give you a mth before they cut it off they will not cut it off in the middle of the mth.(medicaid) so we fussed about it a while and said who will take care of tyler joyce (mother in law) can't get out of bed early in the mornings and the only time the mother is out of bed is to go to the metadone clinic or to find more street drugs then she passes out I HAVE WENT THERE AND HEARD SOMETHING FALL IN THE BATH ROOM AND IT WAS TONYA SHE PASSED ON THE TOILT AND FEEL IN THE FLOOR.
Even her mother said the other night she told this to my husband she went in the bathroom at two in the morning and she was in the floor naked as a jay bird laying in pee. WHY WANT SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT HER???? eek since then everytime we go up there i stay in the car i want get out because i dont want to hear the crap Joyce my mother in law starts on me. why do you do this why didnt you do that. its none of her bussiness i take care of my home life and she thinks i lie about my disease. Joyce has COPD of the lungs and takes only her tonya can be sick no one else can. while we had tyler his grades went from 40-45 to 75-80 he came out of special ed classes and he was so much happyier i want to call dss so badly but if i do i'm a bad person my husband called her last night and said something to her just so i wouldnt call dss and mess up his family. I have already told him my children are not to stay there anymore and i dont want them to visit either if they want to see them they can come to the car or come to the house but if she is going to act like a butthole then stay at home.
AM I WRONG HERE? people like that i dont want around me i told my husband if he wanted to go see his sister and mother then he can go alone me and the kids was not going back! Oh i forgot to add the grandmother does illege things to i dont want to say what. i dont want anyone to get in trouble and this may even be edited i hope i havent done nothing wrong but this is the whole story like i promise i would tell you about i couldnt last night because of my husband and i'm not worried about him reading it here because lucky the only thing he knows how to do on a computer is play pool and the poker game and i have to pull it up for him then I love my husband we have three wonderful children together we have been married for 13 years. I JUST WANT TO DIVORCE HIS MOTHER AND SISTER I WANT THEM OUT OF OUR LIFES FOREVER. You dont know how much that hurts me to say because i have called her mom all these years everything was okay until Tonya decided she wanted her child back but heck the only thing he sees is her either in bed with older men for money or drugs or her passed out i feel so sorry for him and i really love Joyce I just mad at her right now she trys to make me feel like i'm a low down person just like my sister in law is. eek frown

[ICNJess]

Hey girl!

Welll that is an awful lot, and I do mean AWFUL! eek That boy should not be put back with a woman like that. I'm surprised child services isn't doing anything for him! He is better off with you!

I think it's great that you are standing your ground. You have every right as a mother to decide where your children can go, and who you want them to be around.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I hope it gets better for you. There has to be a ray of sunshine coming along for you. You've been through so much lately!!!

Hugs and love,
Jess grouphug kissing

[ICNDonna]

If the child doesn't want to return to his mother and has adequate reason not to, one thing you could do is to encourage him to talk to a school counselor. That puts you out of being in the middle.

It's very important for a 14-year-old to feel wanted for himself --- I encourage you to let him know how very much you wish he could stay with you. At his age he also should have something to say about it.

Sending an encouraging hug,
Donna

[Iris]

Oh what a mess, and you are in the middle of it, which must be so stressful for you, and you do not want stress with your IC. I feel for you, you have been through a lot yourself, and do not want any more on your shoulders. Hope that something can be worked out for your sake and your own family, take care and look after yourself, hugs and lots of prayers for you in this situation, Iris angel grouphug

[tigger_gal]

HUGS to you Rhonda,
I think Donna had a great Idea.. that gets you an out You know I am here for you.
Brat

[Kelli]

oh my goodness Rhonda, you sure have a full plate don't you. Hugs hun. I think you should fight Tylers mother for full custody. Obviously she cannot care for him, being addicted to drugs and living off of the state. He has a better home there with you and your husband and a judge will see that. The only reason she wants him back anyways is to get her dope money. Also, like Donna said, Tyler is old enough to go to someone and say Hey, I want to live with my aunt, not my mom. And they will usually go with what the child wants. Things you need to get would be his report cards from before he came with you, and after. If there is a great deal of difference with his grades, they will see he is comfortable where he is and if he goes back home to his mom, he will more than likely fail out of school. Also, have him tell you about any experiences when he was left alone because she was gone, or passed out high. Those things can be used in a custody case to prove the stability of the mother/father. Also, try to see if you can get information from the Methadone clinic. Anything that you can use against her. I know it's playing a bit dirty but you know how his life would be if he were sent back with her. Looking in the best interest of the child, I would say he is ALOT better off where he is, and I'm sure any judge in the country would agree.

[Jen_Cole]

Dixie-I am with Kelli on this one. That child belongs and DESERVES to be in a place he can feel safe and be loved. You would make a far better mother than the current one.

I've said this before and I'll say it again...YOU are his family. You are the one he chose to be with. This isn't a contest. And if it were, YOU would be the winner. I hope your hubby wakes up soon. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but it's what I believe. I hope your situation improves SOON!!