Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

in between a rock and a hard place

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    I have had 2 husbands. One now and an ex. Both of them will not stand up to their families. I stand up for myself and fortunately I get along well with with new in laws but he never says a word no matter what they say to him. Some men just never grow up i guess. Good Luck Girl!!

    Justice

    Comment


    • #17
      Your not wrong here, and you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. I am so very sorry you are going through this. And not believing you have a a disease, grrr, makes me mad just thinking about it, I would hate to being going through what you are going through. Trust your heart.
      God Bless You grouphug grouphug grouphug angel kissing
      Faith, Hope, and Love,
      Katrina


      I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

      IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
      or find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/kat671?ref=profile
      Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

      [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!

      Comment


      • #18
        We talked to Tyler yesterday and he said he misses us and will come up for the weekend but he dont want to move back in with us because joy needs him that is his grandmother and my mother inlaw that is what the children call her joy instead of joyce
        Poor Tyler being only 14 takes he has to stay there because his mother will jump on joyce when she is high. OMG that just makes me cry I trutly want to call dss but i dont want to hurt tyler feelings to like he doesnt have enough on his back to carry tyler use to hate me until he grew up and figure out i really loved him Jeff my husband is the only daddy he has ever knew and he hated me for marrying jeff! but that is a totally diff. story now. I need some answer i dont know what to do my husband also misses him but makes the comments i guess to make me feel better our power bill went down the water bill is down do you know how much less we spent in gercory this week i know he cost i'm not stupid! but that dont make a dang. its love that counts and he needs it. please someone tell me what you would do if you was dealing with this i dont know. frown
        Medicine taken daily or as needed:
        1. Heaprin and Marcaine rescue installment 1 to 3x daily as needed.
        2. MS.Cotin 100mg 3x daily
        3. MSIR 30mg 1 or 2 every 4-6hrs as needed for breakthrew pain.
        4. Fentanyl 100 mg Change every 48hrs.
        5. Gentamicin 80mg install after each rescue treatment
        5 Leviquin 500mg self start as needed.
        6. Klonopin 1 or 2 daily as needed.
        7. Prosed/DS as 1 every 6hrs as needed.





        I have IC, but IC doesn't have me anymore!

        Comment


        • #19
          Hi Rhonda,
          Its alot easier to give advice on this than to walk in your shoes, so please don't feel offended by any thing I say. I am so impressed with your stregnth and courage to help this young man.

          My thought is that, if possible, put the needs of the child before all else. It looks like there are some adults that think they are more important than the child, but they are not. And they will figure out there lives without him as a pawn anyway. If possible, and if you want to, I would try to get Tyler out of that situation, as it is very hard on a child of 14 to be there with his mother in such bad shape and his grandmother up to things?? Even though it will create hard feelings in the family, you can be confident you are doing the right thing if it is in the child's best interest. Hopefully your husband will come around.

          You are an angel for caring so much about this child, with all of your own challenges.

          Cath
          One day at a time

          Comment


          • #20
            grouphug kissing grouphug
            I feel so bad for you.You have alot on your shoulders.
            This is just a suggestion of course,but maybe you and Tyler should check out your local Al-Anon for support and is very helpful info you both could use.Maybe go together at first to hold each others hand sort of,Then go to seperatly so it gives him a chance to vent without worring you so much.I know it's hard to watch and frightning at the same time.I hope things get beter for you someday soon.Good luck with the relatives I know family is important to you or you wouldn't be so upset.
            Best of luck to you & hang in there.
            Take care, Zookeeper Kim
            grouphug
            Animals are very comforting when
            pain & life gets you down...

            Keep your head held high and don't let any thing bring you down.

            Comment


            • #21
              Another thing you might consider is talking with the school counselor where Tyler goes to school. Will he be going to the same school he has while he lived with you? If so, it's reasonable for you to talk with the counselor to let him/her know about the change in where he will be living --- and it wouldn't hurt to let them know a little of what is going on with his family. Again, that alerts some people who are in a position to help him, without putting you smack in the middle.

              Right now you need to be there for him when he needs you, and he needs to know that you love and want him.

              Warm hugs,
              Donna
              Stay safe


              Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
              Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

              Have you checked the ICN Shop?
              Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

              Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

              Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

              Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

              AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

              I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
              [3MG]

              Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

              Comment


              • #22
                Oh what a difficult situation for you to be in! At one time or another all of us need professional help in dealing with life's crises. Have you considered seeking the help of a minister or counselor? Someone with professional training and who knows all the ins and outs of the community resources available to help you and the family could guide you through this situation. If you are not comfortable talking with the family minister about this matter, I would think one of your doctors could refer you to a family counselor in your area. This is effecting your health and certainly a referral would be warranted. If your husband would go with you, so much the better! You both apparently have the same goal of doing what is best for ALL of the children involved, yourselves, and your mother-in-law and sister-in-law. A good professional who is not emotionally involved in the situation could help you see all the options and help both you and your husband negotiate how the two of you TOGETHER, as a team, could handle this situation in a way that is in the best interests of the children and the adults.

                In the meantime, you must take care of yourself. Maintain the personal boundaries you have set for yourself. If you ever watch Dr. Phil, you know he constantly reminds us we do teach others how to treat us. We all must demand to be treated with dignity and respect and must treat others in the same manner. Let Tyler know how much you love him and that he has a sanctuary in your home whenever he needs it. A professional can help guide you through any further steps you might need to take.

                Know that many are praying for you and your family.

                Annie
                Annie

                IC
                Ulcerative Colitis and IBS
                Pelvic Floor Dysfunction

                _________________________________________________________
                Retirement is great! Work is highly overrated!!!
                ---My dear hubby

                ________________________________________________________
                Never go to a doctor whose office plants are dead.
                ---Unknown

                Comment


                • #23
                  when tyler moved out the school knew why i was in tears while i was there they knew it was killing me inside and they knew why i told them when i went in and got his paper to go to a new school. she gave me the local dss number but said i would have to call the one in that city. but she also said tyler may fall threw the cracks and be put with foster care. this is to much on tyler but he will not talk to anyone about it if you ask him he is okay with it but i can see the other side of it we had tyler for a year and a half with no help from them but once there medicaid was to be cut off and there food stamp cut they wanted him back. oh that makes me so mad!!!ggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I wish he would go to someone at the new school and do something but as my husband said its his chose and we have to live with that. I don't feel that way.
                  Medicine taken daily or as needed:
                  1. Heaprin and Marcaine rescue installment 1 to 3x daily as needed.
                  2. MS.Cotin 100mg 3x daily
                  3. MSIR 30mg 1 or 2 every 4-6hrs as needed for breakthrew pain.
                  4. Fentanyl 100 mg Change every 48hrs.
                  5. Gentamicin 80mg install after each rescue treatment
                  5 Leviquin 500mg self start as needed.
                  6. Klonopin 1 or 2 daily as needed.
                  7. Prosed/DS as 1 every 6hrs as needed.





                  I have IC, but IC doesn't have me anymore!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    grouphug grouphug grouphug Rhonda, pray about this and go with your heart. I know that you can call dss anymously. You know what the right thing to do is. Let dss know that you have taken care of him and his mother and grandmother take him back when things seem to get worse for them. Praying for you.
                    Hang in there , There is hope.
                    There is hope. Prayer works.

                    Love, Debbie

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Rhonda

                      Keep your chin up. Everyones know how much you love Tyler, and he knows you will always be there for him.


                      Love and hugs

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Dixie so sorry to read about your troubles, it must be heartbreaking for you right now, especially as you feel for the child involved in all this, and you have been his mum for quite a while. Do hope that something works out, and he will not be in foster care, prayers for you and Tyler, take care and love Iris kissing angel
                        Today and every day you are loved, so don't be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of you tomorrow; Live one day at a time.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Hi Rhonda--

                          Yeesh doesn't it seem like problems just keep comin and they never end??!?!?!? Ugh!! Well I just wanted to say that I hope things with your mother in law and sister in law and Tyler get better. Things have got to look up soon! I think they gave you some good advice about the school counselor, and I can completely understand that you don't want Tyler slipping through the cracks of the system! eek

                          Hugs and love,
                          Jess
                          Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Rhonda, sending big hugs to you honey. I do know what you are going through. My ex and I took care of his nephew for 3 years. He was born with a rare birth defect called an Imperferated Rectum. In lamens terms, he didn't have a little hole to poo out of. So they had to do surgery when he was just a day old and give him a colostomy. Well, his mother was 19 years old and couldn't handle dealing with this sick child. She brought him to me one day when he was screaming his little heart out and she couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Well, she decided to leave him with us. Well, when he was about 8 months old they reversed the colostomy and built him a new colon and rectum. It took about a year for it to heal completely on the inside and out and for him to begin to have regular bowel movements. We had a really rough time toilet training him because he had no feeling there and couldn't tell when he had to go, until it was almost too late. Well, he was just over 3 when he was completely toilet trained and no longer needed to go to the University Hospital for checkups. His mom decided she wanted him back. I called my lawyer and tried with everything I had to fight her to keep him. He was like my own child. I had raised him and gone through all of the good times, and bad with him. He knew she was his mom, but he called me Mommy Kelli. I left one afternoon to go to work, and he was across the street at the babysitters. She came in and took him. I got a call from the babysitter saying she took him while he was playing in the yard with the other kids. She ran in to answer the phone and when she came back, he was gone and she seen my sis in laws car flying down the street. But there was nothing I could do. I lived in Iowa at the time, she lived in Illinois, and when she took off, she took him to Wisconsin. Iowa DSS said they would NOT cross the border to get him back. I even tried moving to Wisconsin for several months fighting to get him back. She still won because she is his biological mother. But, I know I had made some mistakes and those mistakes probably cost me the chance to get him back. They also looked at the fact that I had MS, and if I would be able to take care of him as long as he may need.

                            I'm not telling you this to stop you from fighting for Tyler. I'm telling you this so if you decide to fight her and try to get him back, be VERY careful of what you do and say. The whole saying, what you say and do can be held against you in a court of law, isn't a joke!!! If you need ANY help, just let me know and I will try my best to help you in any way I can. Also, Tyler is old enough to make his own decisions. He may be ok with it for a few weeks or a month, but then want to come back "Home"


                            HUGGS!!!
                            Kelli
                            IC Angel: Proudly supporting the Children and the Elderly with IC.


                            E-Mail: [email protected]

                            http://www.myspace.com/lilmiss200595


                            Revelation 21:4
                            "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away."

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              The biggest thing i believe they can hold against me is i beat the crap out of her a few years ago because of him and my children i mean i got her good but after word i feels sorry for her helped her up but my aunt was there to she jump in her car and stole it really! the cops got the car back but wouldnt take her to jail because if she went i had to go to and the cop said the way she looked after i jumped on her and they wasnt a mark on me then the judge would put more on me and it happen in my yard. really along story but right now i'm just playing it by ear he is talking like he may come back home (here) I believe they will leave it up to him. I can tell he has gotten a little wilder since he been there but we got him last night school is out today in there area teacher work day. thanks everyone will keep you all updated but right now we are not going to do anything but i am staying away from her i'm afraid my temp. will get out of hand and i will sock her a good time. so i'm staying away from her. but me and my mother in law are getting alone again and talking.
                              Medicine taken daily or as needed:
                              1. Heaprin and Marcaine rescue installment 1 to 3x daily as needed.
                              2. MS.Cotin 100mg 3x daily
                              3. MSIR 30mg 1 or 2 every 4-6hrs as needed for breakthrew pain.
                              4. Fentanyl 100 mg Change every 48hrs.
                              5. Gentamicin 80mg install after each rescue treatment
                              5 Leviquin 500mg self start as needed.
                              6. Klonopin 1 or 2 daily as needed.
                              7. Prosed/DS as 1 every 6hrs as needed.





                              I have IC, but IC doesn't have me anymore!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Hey girl--

                                Glad you are staying away from her, the last thing you need is for your temper to flare!!!
                                You are in my thoughts, it has got to get easier!!!

                                Hugs and love,
                                Jess grouphug
                                Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X