I wrote somewhere on this board that my ex husband and I are getting back together after about 6 1/2 years of seperation.
The other day, I called my bf, dont know why really, but I did and told him I was going to the ER at 5:30 in the morning and the husband was taking me.
After some time in the ER, then having the IVP and other x rays done, they took me to my room, where my bf was standing there waiting on me! Well, I about DIED right there as these two have never met, and here I am feeling like I'm dying (and could of been with the e.coli), and my husband asks him if I asked the bf to come, and he told my husband that no, I'd just called to tell him I was going.
I'm having issues, major ones. My boyfriend loves me more than life itself and lately, with him knowing that he's losing me, he's really come through and I hear the hurt in his voice on the phone if we talk.
I know that moving back with the ex husband is best for my kids, best for me physically and financially, but now I'm second guessing what I was so gung ho over. Am I giving up the man that I REALLY love? I never had that spark/butterflies with the husband, but every time the boyfriend touches me, even to hold my hand, I know that I love him.
I'm so torn. The kids know Daddy and Mommy are getting together, getting a house, restarting our lives. But, what if I'm losing that one true soul mate? He waited for 3 hours for me to get to my room according to the RN who checked me into my room.
I'm sitting here sobbing. This was a long term relationship, of a couple years talking as friends online, then meeting after my seperation, and so we've been together a very long time, through a lot, he had kidney cancer, also has crohns, and has been by my side at every doctor's appt, etc.
I feel now that I'm stuck, because I cant devastate my kids, I'll NEVER let them go through a seperation again, it was so hard on them. I thought things would work out with husband, but how can I go on every day and stay faithful, and miss the man I really love, not just care for and HOPE to love like I love the bf.
I dont know what to do. I know I have to go on and follow through with moving in with the husband, and buying the house...........but GOD I am going to miss this man, so very much, he's part of my soul.
On top of being so sick I have this added stress too.......What if one only gets one chance for a soul mate? What if I've found him, which I feel I have, but want whats best for my children, not for me? How about me? What do I do? I'm so torn and I miss him already.
He sat next to my bed 90% of my hospital stay and had his chair turned to face me. I told him he could turn around so he could see the tv, he told me he couldnt see me if he did that.
I'm in such a mess. I dont know what to do, but know I MUST do whats best for my children, no matter what and that the husband and I can and do get along and have fun, I just dont love him like I love the bf.....I cant take much more as I'm an emotional and physical mess.
Love, Sandy
The other day, I called my bf, dont know why really, but I did and told him I was going to the ER at 5:30 in the morning and the husband was taking me.
After some time in the ER, then having the IVP and other x rays done, they took me to my room, where my bf was standing there waiting on me! Well, I about DIED right there as these two have never met, and here I am feeling like I'm dying (and could of been with the e.coli), and my husband asks him if I asked the bf to come, and he told my husband that no, I'd just called to tell him I was going.
I'm having issues, major ones. My boyfriend loves me more than life itself and lately, with him knowing that he's losing me, he's really come through and I hear the hurt in his voice on the phone if we talk.
I know that moving back with the ex husband is best for my kids, best for me physically and financially, but now I'm second guessing what I was so gung ho over. Am I giving up the man that I REALLY love? I never had that spark/butterflies with the husband, but every time the boyfriend touches me, even to hold my hand, I know that I love him.
I'm so torn. The kids know Daddy and Mommy are getting together, getting a house, restarting our lives. But, what if I'm losing that one true soul mate? He waited for 3 hours for me to get to my room according to the RN who checked me into my room.
I'm sitting here sobbing. This was a long term relationship, of a couple years talking as friends online, then meeting after my seperation, and so we've been together a very long time, through a lot, he had kidney cancer, also has crohns, and has been by my side at every doctor's appt, etc.
I feel now that I'm stuck, because I cant devastate my kids, I'll NEVER let them go through a seperation again, it was so hard on them. I thought things would work out with husband, but how can I go on every day and stay faithful, and miss the man I really love, not just care for and HOPE to love like I love the bf.
I dont know what to do. I know I have to go on and follow through with moving in with the husband, and buying the house...........but GOD I am going to miss this man, so very much, he's part of my soul.
On top of being so sick I have this added stress too.......What if one only gets one chance for a soul mate? What if I've found him, which I feel I have, but want whats best for my children, not for me? How about me? What do I do? I'm so torn and I miss him already.
He sat next to my bed 90% of my hospital stay and had his chair turned to face me. I told him he could turn around so he could see the tv, he told me he couldnt see me if he did that.
I'm in such a mess. I dont know what to do, but know I MUST do whats best for my children, no matter what and that the husband and I can and do get along and have fun, I just dont love him like I love the bf.....I cant take much more as I'm an emotional and physical mess.
Love, Sandy
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