i want to divorce my inlaws.

[Dixiefireball]

okay i have had it with my inlaws no matter what i do its alway's my fault today when my husband had to be taking to the er she called me on the cell phone and said if he had an heartattack it would be all my fault! somehow she has got it in her head my husband has to do everything around the house which is a bold face lie! she said he has to cook clean take care of the children and take them to school for heaven sakes yes he has helped on my bad days and yes he does take the children to school in the morning but heck he has to go that way anyway when he is able to work i'm the one who washes the clothes does he dishes cooks dinner IF he cooks its things like hot dogs something simple or a frozen pizza things i can't eat. when i told my husband what she had said he called her and she said i made it up or i was adding to it. I told him the truth! and now we are fussing because of that stupid blank blank! i know she has a lot on her because of her daughter a drug addt. but that is her life not mine and now she is trying to put everyone down to her daughters style of life i don't think so she thinks there is no one better then her daughter the way i see it if she gave a dang about her daughter she would put her in the hosp and get her some help!!! Hello??????? and poor tyler they took him back from us because poor tonya's medicaid got truned off so she couldn't get some free drugs well what the deal here? he has been back up there since the end of sept and she still isn't on her medicaid and one time try to send him back here a week ago and we was going to take him too but when he found out he had to do a daily chore he couldnt stand that so he went back there my children help out in the house what makes him so special he had to before when he lived here. and guess what now he is smokeing cig and pot. i can't take no more of there bull when she calls my house again i'm going to tell her not to call back again i'm sick of her causeing problem in my marriage just because she had a bad marriage don't mean i have to or a bad life doesnt mean my life has to be bad because of them! i'm so fead up with them i want' a Divorce from my inlaws!
thanks for letting me vent but if any of you have any idea's how to handle this better please let me know she has gotten where she calls every morning at 5:45 am and she knows we dont get up to 6:30 am what the deal with that. i can't help her life style or her daughters i have done everything in our well power to help them this time i'm done done for good with them i don't want them to see or be around my children anymore because of the drugs there can anyone blame me.
I know there is some grandmothers in our family here am i doing the right thing

[Katrina]

(((((((hugs)))))))

I would definatly agree to keeping your children away from the drugs.

She has no right to judge you. The only one that can is God. She obviously knows she isn't doing right or she wouldn't have a reason to lie to your husband.

Remember that those that judge others will be judged harshly by God themselves. I hope that can give you some hope.

I sincerely hope things improve.

grouphug

[Iris]

What a pain in the butt she sounds like Rhonda, I am a grandmother, and there is no way I would be like her. I think you have done everything you could possibly do for your family, and I think you tried the best you could to help out with Tyler, and no one could do more. What does she think calling you at that time in the morning. You mother in law sounds like she is an impossible person to deal with, you do not deserve that, on top of dealing with IC and raising a young family. I am so glad you can come and vent, and we understand where you are coming from, at least we can give you support, even though we cannot be there in person. Take care Rhonda and let us know how you are doing, luv ya and a big hug, Nana Iris kissing grouphug

[Zookeeper]

grouphug grouphug grouphug

Take care.Love zookeeper Kim

[jaime15]

Rhonda,
I have to ask, why don't you take your phone off the hook??? Especially if this is a common thing for her to do. Hubby should be the one to step in but...I guess that can be a whole new topic..huh?
She seems to really have problems that a good therapist would use up years and not even crack her shell. You can always be polite though. When she calls say "Hon, this is a bad time ---." (And say your fixing dinner or whatever. Then a polite goodbye.) I think if she knows shes bothering you, it just adds fuel to her fire.
Good luck-I really feel for you!!!!

[ICNDonna]

I'm a grandmother --- and if I call somebody at 5:30 am, they know it's something serious! I would never knowingly wake someone.

If you have an answering machine, I suggest you bury your phone under a pile of pillows and ignore it until you are awake. And if she calls at an inopportune time, it's okay to tell her it's a bad time --- you can simply say something like, "I'm right in the middle of something and can't talk right now. I'll try to get back to you later." And hang up without allowing a chance for her to say anything more. You may have to listen once in a while, but make it when you feel able to cope.

She must be a terribly unhappy lady who is trying to find somebody to blame. It just shouldn't be you!

Warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[Teri]

I agree with Donna....she is a very unhappy person. IF she calls for her son, let her know the hours she can reach him and ask her not to call any other time.

My son has THE greatest attitude with his kids....when I make a crack about him babysitting he ALWAYS says, "they are my kids, I don't babysit them." Same thing about meals or house chores. His oldest will be 8 in a couple of weeks and youngest is 2. He is 26 years old......if he can tell me like it is..........than I guess your husband had better be tellin' his mom like it is too.

I do have a telephone problem with the in-laws. I check the caller ID and just don't answer. It has saved me soooooooooooo much anger.

You need her crap right now like you need a hole in the head You are dealing with way more than your share already and if she can't see that then she is truly a sorry a&& woman cussing cussing

Sending some warm fuzzy hugs~

[auntiedeb]

grouphug grouphug grouphug
Rhonda, have you thought about going to alanon on how to take care of you and how to handle the relationships with your inlaws? I will be praying for you. Please don't let the stress make you flare. Set boundaries up with this lady. there is no need to be calling at 5:45 am every morning. easier said than done. So sorry if I sound hard on you, I just care too much. Please let us know how you are doing hon.

[Kathi]

When she calls hand the phone to her son. If he's not home, just say He's not home call back at (whatever time he'll be home) & hang up on her. Hugs, Kathi banghead

[erinaj1997]

I agree with Teri, CALLER ID!!!!

Or even just turn off the phone's ringer until you get up in the morning.
I know your problem is bigger than this, but it's a start. If you don't answer the phone in the morning anymore maybe she'll get the hint realizing that your not letting her bother you.

Good luck. I know how in-laws can be cussing

Erin

[ICNJess]

{{{{{Rhonda}}}}}

I agree with a few points here...first of all, if someone called me at 5:45 in the morning it better be VERY important!!!!! Otherwise I would introduce them to a new meaning of PAIN.

Anyway, you've got to do what's best for your kids. That's really the bottom line. And if she doesn't understand that, that's tough. She's a mother, would she want to subject her own children to that?

[Laurenn]

Dear Rhonda-
I'm a gran, too------I have a seven year old grandson, and another wee one on the way!------and
I have to say that other than grave emergencies, people only call at 5'45am for reasons of power
and control.
It sounds like she feels threatened in her
relationship with her son...........I wonder if you
could somehow set up some "Mum" time for her-----with your husband--------if
it would make a difference?
However, I have to say that it really isn't fair that you have to deal with this.........
There are no easy answers for a situation like this..........I hope you find a solution to this
problem SOON!!.....sending HUGS, Laurenn

grouphug angel angel grouphug

[Kelli]

If you don't answer the phone in the morning anymore maybe she'll get the hint realizing that your not letting her bother you.


That line right there is EXACTLY where the key is to get away from this situation. You CANNOT allow her to know what she says and does bothers you. She is a bully, and bullies pick and pick and pick just because they know it torments their victims. That is exactly what she is doing to you. She knows the things that really tick you off because I'm POSITIVE your husband has told her, "mom please don't do that, it really upsets Rhonda" DING DING DING!!!!! She has you!!! Some people thrive on the ability to anger someone. She sounds like one of those people. She has so many other issues in her life but cannot keep herself from yours. I agree that the children have no place around a person like that. I had alot of trouble with my mother in law. I finally had all I could take one day and I told her, until you can respect me, you will have no rights to my children. She didn't see my kids for a year and a half and I refused to let her until she apologized to me. I know it's mean to keep the kids away, because it's not their fault and they shouldn't suffer, but seeing you the way you are and how she treats you isn't good for them either. You have done everything you can for that family. Things MOST people would NEVER do for their own family let alone inlaws. You are a good person Rhonda and don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Especially someone who wouldn't know her A$$ from a hole in the ground!!!

[Dixiefireball]

last night when my husband went to her house ALONE! she admitted to him she told a lie on me and she did cuss me out she was so upset thinking her son had an heartattack she had to lash out on someone but she lash out at the wrong person i was upset to and i didn't deserve that one bit and far as i'm concern she can't see her grandchildren anymore until she get that drug head daughter of hers out of the house and into the hosp for help. and she isnt going to see the children until she tell me personally she is sorry just telling my husband to tell me is a cop out she has a phone she knows how to use it all she has to do is pick it up and call me and as far as the 5:45 am calls they have stopped for the last few mornings but i think the only reason for that is something is wrong with her phone. I pray she don't start it back up but her phone will be fixed by six pm tonight and she can call and say i'm sorry but like i said she can forget seeing my children until she does something with her daughter and that is the bottom line. gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. cussing banghead

[Dixiefireball]

OH PS
Thank you all for your advice and concern i really needed it. grouphug