He makes me so mad

[michaela]

How come when the hubby does the dishes he says I did the dishes for you, or washed the clothes for you. And my favorite is when he watched the kids he says he is babysitting. How does he babysit his own kids??? he's really great about helping out since i do work alot and I work 12 hour days so it's a great help but it ticks me off that he thinks he should get special treatment for cleaning his own house occasionally and watching his own kids. Just a little pet peeve of mine. Anyone else notice this?

Michaela

[ICNDonna]

Some husbands don't help in the house at all. I'm very grateful that I have one who will help. He was raised in a home where housework and child care were the wife's responsibility. I think a lot of men were. We live in the country so he has a lot to do outside, but any time I need it, he will stop what he's doing and lend a hand. And we raised our sons with the realization that home-making is not just a woman's job.

Donna

[Teri]

Michaela blink Our husbands are definately related! When he says "I did the laundry for you" I completely loose it! It's all HIS clothes. The pj's I wear all week can get me thru couple of weeks easy. I washed your car for you....instead of washing it, why don't you fill it up with gas instead of leaving me with an empty tank all the time. I cut your grass for you....I've been so sick that I couldn't care less if the grass was 4ft high. I wonder what they would do in a divorce case since they spend their days telling "US" what "THEY" do "FOR" us every day eek Seems like since they think everything is "ours" than we should be entitled to it all, right wink

I bought him a bag of cookies the other day and he did manage to put them in the cookie jar (I don't eat them) and I noticed that the lid was not put back on. I was going to do it and said screw it, HE did it. It's HIS screw-up. Let HIM fix it Welp, yesterday he went to get a cookie out of the jar and tried blasting me for leaving the lid off..... he ain't goin' there with me this week! My nerves are completely shot , I always own up to my own screw-ups but since he's always reminding me he did this or that for me, I didn't want to say "I put the lid back on the cookie jar for you"......hope the dang cookies went stale

[dancemomof2]

Michaela,

I have one of those hubby's also. I guess we took them for better or worse....... usually more worse LOL. Like they never use a dish, or dirty clothes, or mess up the house. I think the hubby's who help without a comment, should hold a training session for those of ours who just do because they are tired of us gripping. LOL

Leslie

[louise]

Hi Teri,

So sorry to hear you have not been feeling well lately. As you know, this past year and a half for my husband and I (and our childen) has not been vey easy. The one thing I know I really need to work on is, as the saying goes, "don't sweat the small stuff"! Sometimes I know it is difficult not to let these little things bother us, but in our cases we DO not need the extra stress.

One thing I have been working on myself when these little things tend to "get my goat" is to think how I would feel if I was making a big deal out of a small issue and something happened to my husband. I don't want to sound melodramatic but I just read the article in this week's PEOPLE magazine about the death of John Ritter. He went to the set that morning in good spirits and seemingly good health. By 5 p.m. he was sweating, vomiting and having major chest pain.
He went to the hospital where they suspected he had a tear in his aorta and rushed him to the OR.
But unfortunately he died shortly after. His problem is called AORTIC DISSECTION and it happens mainly in males between the ages of 55 and 70. The article also says it occurs in only two out of 10,000 men.

For me, reading this article reminded me that we need to enjoy each day as much as we can because we never know what could happen. It is so sad to read about the loss of John Ritter for him wife and children. I just can't imagine getting up one morning with your husband but by the end of the day he is gone forever.

Sorry if I am getting preachy, but this is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. My husband does everything he can for me to make my burden as light as possible. So if there is some small aggravation between us I am trying to just relax and let it go. It is just not worth the extra energy it takes from us to make a mountain out of a molehill.

I do sincerely hope you will feel better one of these days, Teri. I have been struggling with a UTI as well and added to IC and our other health problems some days are just a nightmare. Like you, I have become more housebound due to the pain and the medications.

Take care and lots of hugs,

Louise
bunny bunny bunny bunny

[louise]

Hi,

I was going to add that I just printed the article mentioned at the top of the message board by Gaye & Andrew Sandler on "Interstitial Cystitis and Stress: A Spouse Perspective". I think it is a great article that we as IC patients should read but also one that we should have our husbands read.

Having IC IS difficult not only for us but for our spouses who have to watch us suffer endlessly and yet feel so helpless because there is nothing they can do to ease our pain and suffering.

All in all, IC sucks!!

Louise

[ICNJess]

Michaela--

Oh I just go nuts!! "I vaccumed the living room, and you didn't say anything"...say anything? How about all of the times that I do your laundry, or clean the little trail of mess you leave behind??? UGH! I definitely can understand your frustration!!! He's very understanding IC wise, but he expects a gold medal when he does something around the house. I just feel like screaming. So I will! scream hehe

Hugs,
Jess

[Iris]

Hi I read that article when I logged in today, it was very interesting and I think it would be worth while printing it out and giving it to our husbands. I must say I cannot complain in that area, he is really good about everything and very often cooks dinner when I am not up to it. He missed a lot of things he does with organizations last year to be with me while I was going through my illness before I was diagnosed, and for that I cannot thank him enough for his support and all the running around he did for me, and with me, to doctors etc and emergency rooms. I now do appreciate every day with him, as it is true things can happen so fast, and life can be so fragile. We have been together so long, I cannot imagine my life without him. There are times when little things irritate, but I do not sweat the small stuff anymore, and it does make a difference that I do not have little ones to take care of any more, just the two of us right now, take care everyone, hugs Iris hi grouphug

[louise]

Hi Iris,

I enjoyed your post - we seem to be in the same boat! I too have a wonderful husband who does more for me every day than I could ever thank him for. And these health problems have been going on for almost thirty years. I once had a doctor tell me that I am "LUCKY" that my husband has stayed with me all these years through all the ups and downs. What a terrible thing to say to someone!

I know what you mean by "sweating the small stuff" as I mentioned in my earlier post. I am not saying that it is easy all the time not to get irritated or angry with my husband but I am trying not to get irritated when it is just over a small issue. It is also easier on me that way because we usually end up in a big row and that stress is not something I need. I am in enough pain all the time so I find for me it is best to try and get over things rather than making a great big issue out of something very minor.

I printed a copy of Dr. Sandler's article about IC and spouse stress and found it very interesting. I agree with you that it would be great if all of us on these boards printed out a copy of it and let our husbands or significant others read it. I thought Dr. Sandler wrote a terrific article, especially when he is on both sides of the fence: he works in health areas and at the same time has a wife who also suffers with IC. So I hope all of you will print his article and leave it somewhere for your men to read it.

Take care,

Louise

bunny bunny bunny

[patticake]

that is definatly true about not knowing what will happen or how long we have together. My husband went fishing one evening 17 yrs ago, we were in the middle of moving from Nashville to perry county which is out in the country, that he loved to be in, he loved fishing and hunting. He took a break from moving that evening and decided to go fishing for a little while and I never saw him alive again.The boat turned over and he got tangled up in some fish hooks that he had run across the river. Plus it was in march, so he had insulated coveralls on that zipped up the front. It took the paramedics 2 hours to find him, it was already dark. We got married after I got out of high school and he was in the Marines. we were married for 15 yrs at the time.4 kids.15, 13, 10 and 14 months old. It has been a long hard road raising them alone. Something I never thought about having to do back then. I have finally met someone now that is so good to me, I think my late hubby would approve of him and want me to be happy with him, My kids all like him and he likes them a lot too. my grandsons call him grandpa, he loves that since neither of his 2 daughters have any kids yet and don't plan on it anytime soon. I still miss my late husband, we had our differences, too. but we always made up and never went to bed mad at each other. Sorry this got to be so long, but I get carried away writing out my feelings sometimes. I don't do it very often. Well I have taken up too much space so I will let someone else talk for a while. Just love each other and like someone else said don't sweat the small stuff. What really matters today.
Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other.

angel [Joshua Loth Liebman]

[ICNJess]

Patti--

I am so sorry.

Lots of hugs,
Jess grouphug grouphug kissing

[michaela]

Ok Ok you ladies have opened my eyes eek . He is very supportive and I guess he's just wanting some appreciation for helping out the way he does. When he gets home I'll give a big hug and tell him "I made dinner for you". I want some appreciation to. I guess it's nothing a little talk wouldn't cure. Thanks!

Michaela

[louise]

Hi Patti,

I am so sorry to hear what happened to your husband years ago. Unfortunately, your situation (like what happened with John Ritter) is what I was alluding to in my earlier post. We just never know when our time is up and even though our husbands (and vice versa!!) may get on our nerves at times we still need to love and appreciate each day we have because as you know we never know when it may be our last.

I am so happy to read that you have found someone else and you sure deserve it.

Thanks for your heartwarming post.

Louise

bunny bunny bunny

[auntiedeb]

Patti, I am so sorry. You write so beautifully and it touches my heart so much. I am so glad that you found someone. I treasure my friends and family and neices and nephews. I had gotten some clothes for my four year old neice Caelin and gave them to her yesterday as she was going out the door, she has a speech delayed impariment and her dad goes take your time , spit out, she goes I bet auntiedebbie loves me alot. tears. I do love her alot and I love them alot. I chose not to have children. Had a hystercomy in91. But I have my neices and nephews. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Hugs to you. grouphug grouphug

[Iris]

Hi Patti, it was so sad about losing your husband and it must have been extremely hard, not only losing the person you love, but having young children to raise as well. I am so happy for you now that you have a wonderful man to love and care for you and your family, God bless all of you, hugs Iris hi grouphug