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Hubby being a jerk

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    ICKIRSTI
    ICN Member

  • ICKIRSTI
    replied
    indeed

    I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I imagine that none of us are alone on that one. Guys always want to fix things. Even if there is NO possible way to fix something, they will still wish they could. So even if he is coming across negative, I am sure it is only because he really wishes with all of is heart that he could just fix you and make everything better. I think, it is very important to note that he went out of his way to cook for you. Again, this would be a prime moment to fake a smile, and thank him from the bottom of your heart. Saying something like, well I didn't feel so well, until I came home to you. JUst tell them what they want to hear and they really shouldn't complain..haha. I always find myself forcing on a smile, or going out to do something that I know I am not going to want to do. In a way, it is hard because, I find myself in situations in which I'd wish I had not gotten myself into. However, it does make me feel "more normal" just gritting through the pain and pretending I am fine for the day, or perhaps a moment. It also seems to frustrate them less, and ultimately lends more time for the sweet, gushy compassion that us female's never pass up. I hope that this helps you in some way! Wishing you all the health, love and happiness the world could ever offer! Warmest regards, and all the best.. P.L.U.R.

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  • GriffsMommy
    ICN Member

  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    Thank you all so much for the replies. You are right Donna, usually he is understanding and good to me. I know that he must be frustrated with me feeling sick all the time but it's even harder when you're the one who feels this way all the time. I'll try to have a talk with him tonight and figure out what's going on. I just wish I would hurry up and start feeling better, my bladder is driving me crazy again today!
    April, thanks for the hugs, ((((((((hugs)))))))))) right back at you since you're not feeling well today either. Thanks for the nice comments about Griffin, I do think he is rather cute but I'm just a little big biased, lol

    Leave a comment:

  • ICNDonna
    ICN Staff

  • ICNDonna
    replied
    It could also be that he's feeling helpless because he can't do anything to help you feel better. I remember when my Terry had three major surgeries within a one-month period. There were times when I was taking care of him that I honestly felt like screaming because it took so long for him to recover and I wanted him to be well.

    If he's gentle and understanding most of the time, I would try to overlook it.

    Sending gentle hugs,
    Donna

    Leave a comment:

  • leelee88
    Support Volunteer

  • leelee88
    replied
    Christine..
    You know men just can be royal pains in the butt.. Maybe its time you sit down with him and have a long talk... Hope you feel better soon (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

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  • aprilmae
    IC Friend

  • aprilmae
    replied
    Christine,

    I am so sorry hubby is not being nice to you. I do know that men get frustrated when we feel bad and they can't do anything to help us and that comes out in a number of ways. Of course it is too easy for them to say I am frustrated at your illness and not feeling well not frustrated with you and your not feeling well. My boyfriend had to explain to me that he really has no reference point for feeling bad all the time since he never has. I also know that when I feel especially crappy I take some comment he makes and get way upset over it when it was just his man way of releasing stress.

    I hope that makes sense - not feeling too great this morning so I may be totally confusing.

    I really hope your day gets better.

    In case I have never told you - Griffin is the cutest little guy! I love the pictures of him.

    Lots of hugs,
    April

    Leave a comment:

  • GriffsMommy
    ICN Member

  • GriffsMommy
    started a topic Hubby being a jerk

    Hubby being a jerk

    I do not know what is up with Shane (hubby). He has been acting very distant and kind of stand offish for the last day or so. I asked him what's wrong and he said something like he doesn't know but he is not acting normal. I think that it has something to do with me feeling like crap all the time. I was really really tired all day yesterday and in pain, I don't know if this is still from the anesthia from the hydro last Wednesday or what, but I'm still not feeling like myself. He made dinner last night because he knew I was feeling bad but when I came home and said I didn't feel well he made some snide comment about how he knew I was going to feel well in advance. He basically was saying that I ALWAYS feel bad so he isn't surprised. He makes me feel like I'm annoying him for feeling like crap all the time. I wish that I felt better, I hate feeling like crap all the time and then he makes me feel bad on top of it. Sometimes he makes me feel like he doesn't believe that I feel bad all of the time, like I'm faking it. I just needed to vent, have to start work in a minute. Thanks for listening
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