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  • I'm about to freak out here!

    Okay, I can not believe that he just did this to me I am at work and I get a 10 minute personal break in the morning. So like always I call home to talk to hubby and Griffin. Griffin answers the phone, his new favorite thing to do and gives it to Shane (hubby). He has been sleeping a lot lately, we're waiting for his new anxiety meds to kick in. At first I just thought that he was tired but then I realized it's more than that. He seems like he's in a bad mood. I figure it's because he wanted to have sex last night and we didn't because I have a head cold and just don't feel very well all around. I asked him if his bad mood is because of me, he said, "why would that be?" "Because we haven't had sex in awhile?" is my response and then he says to me "Sometimes I wonder why we're even married"
    I had to ask him what he said again because I thought that I must have misheard him but no that's what he said.
    I should know better by now then to ask him what is wrong while I'm at work because it's usually something about our relationship and it usually makes me upset. I told him that I'm married to him because I love him, he said he loves me too. I honestly think that this stemmed from us sitting on the couch last night being cuddly and he was trying to kiss me. Something happened, the dog jumped up or Griffin did something and I guess I pulled away a little or something and he turns that into maybe we shouldn't be married. I am trying to give him attention, I know he needs it, I know it's hard to have a wife that feels like crap all of the time, but maybe we shouldn't be married?!? Isn't that a bit extreme. My hands are shaking, my stomach has butterflies, I honestly feel like I want to puke. I love him so much, ugh, I just needed to vent, I'm sure he doesn't want a divorce, at least I don't think so, that was just a really mean thing to say in my opion
    Christine



    I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
    1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
    2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
    I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

    I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

    Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
    Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

  • #2
    men just don't think. We tell them whats on our mind, and they want to fix it, not be there to just listen. They are a whole different breed then us. I learend a long time ago never try to read into what a man says because it will only hurt our feelings, and make us mad. They don't think by making a rude or hurting comment that we will take it like they actually said it.
    Try to blow it off, and say 3 times, he's a man...
    Sending you great big hugs
    'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

    Comment


    • #3
      Sounds like Jake.

      Men take not having sex as rejection, and then they take the hurt feelings and turn them right into anger. Me and Jake always bicker if I turn down sex. Its really imature, but thats how they are. He will get over it trust me. Sorry you had to be treated like that

      Erika
      IC diagnosed officially via cysto/urodynamics 1/26/07

      Grade II Endometriosis diagnosed via lap 12/11/07

      "Fall down seven times, Stand up eight."

      "Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think."

      Current Treatments:
      Interstim Since 5/25/07!
      Birth Control

      Comment


      • #4
        I am sorry that you are having such a bad day. I am sure he was just blowing off steam and probobly didnt mean it. Men just dont express things the way we do when we are upset. I mean, if a woman were upset about what he was, she would just say, "I miss you. I want us to spend more time together, in every way." Then, she would get a sitter for a few hours to make it happen. But, it never occurs to a man to do the same. But, most of them are that way. *sigh*

        I hope you guys patch things up when you get home. (I am sure you will.) Please bear with him until his meds kick in. I know when I am adjusting to new meds, I can be a bear too!

        Hope the rest of your day goes better!

        Hugs,
        Amy

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you all for the words of wisdom. I wish I wouldn't have even asked him what was wrong until I got home because this sucks to be stuck at work all day, feeling sick anyway and then feeling worse because of this. I think that he's setting off a flare, woohoo! Stress induced flares are fun! NOT I just started my lunch break so I guess I'll call him in a minute and see if we can get this straightened out. I feel like such a crappy wife so much of the time because I never feel well and don't do as much as I used to. It surely doesn't help for him to say that he doesn't know why we're married. I know he loves me but ugh!!!!
          You're right Amy, some of it might be his meds need to kick in. When he started the other one it didn't take long to see the difference so hopefully it will be the same this time.
          Gotta go eat something and then I guess I'll call him and see what happens.
          Christine



          I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
          1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
          2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
          I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

          I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

          Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
          Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

          Comment


          • #6
            Now I'm getting even more upset because I can't get ahold of him. He's not answering the phone and neither is Griffin. This could just mean that they are both taking a nap. I hate to think that he's avoiding me. I was really hoping to talk to him and get some peace of mind. Ugh! I hate it when he falls asleep and won't answer the phone
            Christine



            I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
            1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
            2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
            I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

            I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

            Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
            Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

            Comment


            • #7
              (((((HUGS)))))) I am sure once the meds help and he thinks about thing he will have a new outlook on things. Men tend to not voice things in the right manor and I am sure he will think things over and realize whooppps that was dumb.

              Comment


              • #8
                Well I finally got Griffin and Shane to answer the phone. It seems that Shane was napping again. His sleep is so screwed up when his meds aren't right. He did tell me he loves me and he didn't seem mad just out of it. Hopefully Griffin will go to bed early tonight and we can spend some time together. The really crappy thing though is the stress from that nasty comment is starting a nice little flare. I actually felt my bladder spasm big time when I was on the phone with him a minute ago. Took another Urelle recently so hopefully that will help take care of that. Thanks for all of the support again, I don't know what I would do w/o you guys!
                Christine



                I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
                1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
                2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
                I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

                I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

                Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
                Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

                Comment


                • #9
                  I swear I thought I had posted this. My bf Jamen does this to me all the time. Especially when I'm at work. The worst is you cant scream so I start crying. I totally understand what your going through. Men are stupid and they react differently. He didn't mean to harm you, he's just fristrated about not spending time with you. Jamen does this "things have been different latley..." I'm like huh? what does that mean? Yea things have been harder b/c I'm sick and havent been in the mood latley. Men just dont understand. Just be patient with your husband and try to give him some more attention. It's nothing to worry about, he loves you very much. Don't be so upset about it, it will turn around you watch.

                  Hugs
                  Rachel
                  ***Rachel***

                  Dance like no one is watching
                  Love like you've never been hurt
                  Live today like it's your last

                  Dxd with IC in June '06

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh Christine, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. That was very rude and inconsiderate of him to say that to you. After all, you are the one who is sick!
                    I would remind him that marriage is not about sex, but about paternership, and sticking by one another through all good times as well as the bad. He can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. I can understand how hurt you are by this. If my hubby said something like that to me, I would be shocked. That was just uncalled for.
                    Is he under any unusual stress lately? Maybe something else is bothering him and that is why he is moody. Hopefully what ever has him in this mood will pass. As far as you giving him attention, that is good. Maybe he feels lost since you dont feel well half the time. But he has to be more understanding. It is not your fault you got sick. It could have just as easily been him who got sick, and I would ask him how he would feel if you said something mean like that to him because he was sick?
                    Try not and worry to much, this to shall pass.
                    Sending you big hugs!!
                    Jen

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey Christine,
                      I just saw your post.. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this..Its not enough we feel like crap most of the times, we surely dont need a man to remind us of this..Hang in there though girl..Im here if you need me((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
                      Hugs
                      Ronda

                      ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


                      Link to Patient Handbook:
                      http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

                      Diet Reference Sheet:
                      http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

                      Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

                      Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

                      Meds I have Tried:
                      Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
                      Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
                      Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

                      Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
                      Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

                      Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



                      ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ((((((((Ronda))))))))))))))((((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))))((((((((((eve ryone))))))))))) LOL Everytime I turn around there is someone else responding and making me feel better. I think he is just stressed out. He really does need his anti-anxiety meds or things get crazy. He's the one who brought up going to see the puppies and bringing one home with us but I don't think he realized how much he would have to do. Our fence is falling apart in our back yard so all day long everytime Buffy (puppy) needs to be taken out he needs to get her leash and walk her. Doesn't seem like a big deal but when you've got a toddler and your sleeping has been out of whack, it's not so great. He says it's not either one of them on their on, it's the combination of the two that drives him crazy.
                        I'm hoping that Griffin will go to bed early tonight and I can get the kids to leave us alone and we can have some couple time w/o kids driving us batty. I'm sure we'll be okay, that just really hurt my feelings that he said that, I don't know if he would actually ever go anywhere but I still don't like to think about it.
                        Christine



                        I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
                        1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
                        2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
                        I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

                        I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

                        Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
                        Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sometimes men just suck! They sometimes are so self absorbed.

                          Meds I take:
                          Elmiron, Elavil, Vagifem- for IC
                          Albuterol, Flovent, Atrovent- for Asthma and lung problems
                          Paxil, Clonazepam- for depression and Anxiety
                          Atenolol- for rapid heart rate
                          Nexium- for Gerd
                          Levothyroxin- for Hypothyroidism
                          Lasix, Pottasium- for edema
                          Lipitor- for High Cholesterol
                          I coated aspirin
                          02 at bedtime

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Men stink!

                            D
                            (\__/)
                            (o.O )
                            (> < ) This is Bunny. He's on his way to world domination.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              (((hugs))) Hope you're day is going a little better by now. That's crappy to say that kinda thing to you when you're at work and can't deal with it. That always ruins my whole day when we fight in the morning and then all day I have to think about what he's thinking because I can't talk it out with him right away. I'm sure he's just crabby and is adjusting to the meds. I know how I can be when I'm on a new med, or depressed, or lacking sleep, or just being b&^%$y! Hopefully this will all just blow over and he'll apologize and you guys can talk it out. I'm sure its a lot to deal with having you sick, him tired and sick, and the kids running around and the new puppy. Sometimes we all just get worn out and say the wrong things.

                              Comment

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