Counseling

[Berkshire Road]

My husband and I have lived together for 16 years, married 14, and are both in our 40's. I just want to say publicly that we have started marriage counseling recently. I know IC puts a strain on most marriages, and it's usually not the only strain in the relationship. I also know some people are afraid to go to counseling because they think it's embarassing, or that it's only for couple whose relationships are disasters.

We are okay, under a lot of pressure, and decided to start counseling now rather than let things get too bad. I am proud of us for our decision, and happy to say that even in the first couple of weeks we seem to be more in tune with each other. I wanted to let everyone know about this in case you've been hesitating, thinking there's a stigma or that no one you know has ever had to get help -- now you know someone. I can't say how it will be long-term, but I am really, really glad we're doing this.

BTW, since our insurance has no benefits for marriage counseling, the psychologist we're seeing put one of us down as the patient with a dx of relationship disorder, or something like that. So we'll get 20 visits covered. But even if we had not been able to work that out, I can't think of many things that are more worth the investment.

Okay, that's it! Just wanted to put it out there.

[Billsbaby]

that is a very brave and wonderful thing you guys are doing for your marriage.i wish more people would work on their marriage like that before giving up.my husband and i promised from the beginning that no matter what we would always do what it takes to keep our marriage strong,and keep us happy and in love.when it seems like were getting in a slump,like just going through the routine but not really noticing each other,we say it and then do something spontanious together,or just talk all night and catch up.i hope we can always do that.i think our significant others should always be our best friends and biggest supporters.good for you carolyn and good luck to you and your hubby.jamie

[leelee88]

I think thats great!!

I think counseling is a really good idea for all IC patients and hubbys it gives the husband a chance to learn and be involved in what is going on with us.. I think one of the biggest problems our husbands or partners have with us having this disease is that they feel helpless and that is a hard thing for a man to deal with, because most grow up thinking that they are the care taker and just dont know how to deal with not being able to do just that...

[dancemomof2]

I am so proud of you for taking the first step before it is needed. Good for you

[ICNDonna]

That's so great. I think it's healthy for all couples to take the time to look at their relationships occasionally just to be sure they don't let themselves get into a deep rut they can't climb out of.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[Roxie2007]

HI! I think it's great too that you are going for counseling. I've always been a firm believer in counseling.....not matter what it's for! Life is rough and it's great having an extra set of ears listening to problems....getting another view point on things.
I have just gotten an appt with a therapist myself for next week. I've been under SO much stress due to illnesses lately that I thought it would be good for me to go and learn some new ways to deal with stress. Lord knows we could all use that with all we deal with!! Good luck to you! Roxie

[Trishann]

Carolyn that is great that you and your husband is seeking help. Sometimes when we are under alot of stress we can't see the light under the tunnel but with someone that is not under that pressure sometimes can see the bigger picture and is able to give you good advice and good tips to help better the relationship. Sometimes it can be something small we can do but just did not see it because of the pressure of life.

I am definitely agreeing with Donna. Sometimes, even me, needs to sit back and look and see now we can move forward.

I hope all goes well and good things will come out of it.
Sending you many hugs, Trishann

[GriffsMommy]

Carolyn that is so great that you are going to counseling. I think it's great to let others know that it is okay and normal. Your marriage is your most important relationship but lots of people don't treat it as such.

[Briza]

My husband and I have lived together for 16 years, married 14, and are both in our 40's. I just want to say publicly that we have started marriage counseling recently. I know IC puts a strain on most marriages, and it's usually not the only strain in the relationship. I also know some people are afraid to go to counseling because they think it's embarassing, or that it's only for couple whose relationships are disasters.
.

Thanks for sharing this with us, Carolyn. While IC was definitely a big stress on the relationship with my ex-fiance, it was by far not the only pressure we were dealing with. Brave husband you must have, men are not usually as open to counseling as women! I see a therapist regularly, but never did joint counseling with the ex, (he didn't need it, you know ) so I would find it interesting how this will go for you and your husband. Best wishes.

[Berkshire Road]

Yeah, Brig, my husband "doesn't need" individual counseling either, LOL. But at least we're working together, that's the most important thing. We have sixteen years and our child invested in this relationship; neither one of us wants things to go bad.

[Trishann]

That is great you both want the samething. Not wanting things to go bad. Hope you the best.

Sending hugs, Trishann

[Briza]

I think it's great, Carolyn. I like your husband already

[verdicries]

carolyn i'm proud of you guys (very nice doctor too, btw...). i was considering this as well. we have been married almost 2 years (together 5), but my health (and horrible pregnancy) have really taken a toll on us. i don't think we have couples counseling benefits either. it takes courage to admit you need help but MORE courage to go GET help. i'll be thinking of you.

tracy

[Berkshire Road]

Thanks Tracy.