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  • "a Husbands Perspective"

    " A Husband's Perspective "

    As a husband of someone who has a very severe case of IC maybe I can share my perspective on coping and accepting this disease. I am very happily married to a wonderful, loving woman. I proudly have been by her side from the very beginning. Learning about the disease, going with her to doctor's appointments to hear her doctor's opinions first hand, and talking with her about her friends on the ICN board has made a world of difference in helping me understand what my wife is dealing with on a daily basis. Yes, dealing with and accepting. I say this instead of using the phrase "going through" because the phrase "going through" implies that there will be an end to the pain or things will be back to normal soon. If you have this in your mind then you will never be able to understand and accept this disease and therefore you will be unable to give your spouse the support they need. This is a life long disease just like the life long commitment you gave one another. Yes there will be ups and downs, good days and bad days. It takes a genuine willingness to want to be a part of your spouses treatment. I am fully committed to my wonderful wife as she is to me. Just her knowing this makes the good days great and the bad days a little better. True, there is no cure but by wanting to be there and experience everything your spouse endures will make their treatment a whole lot easier. I wrote this to help spouses of IC patients understand that their loved ones are already dealing with allot of physical and emotional pain. They should not have to deal with any insecurities that you bestow upon them as well.

    Hope this helps,
    Ronda's ( LeeLee88 ) Husband,
    Dom
    Last edited by leelee88; 06-03-2007, 11:43 AM.
    Hugs
    Ronda

    ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


    Link to Patient Handbook:
    http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

    Diet Reference Sheet:
    http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

    Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

    Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

    Meds I have Tried:
    Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
    Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
    Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

    Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
    Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

    Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



    ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

  • #2
    Thank you Dom for doing this. It brought tears to my eyes. I am going share this with my husband. Hopefully he will read it and keep an open mind.
    Thank you again for your courage and compassion in doing this.
    Rachel
    DX's:
    IC; PFD; possible Fibromyalgia; IBS;

    Symptoms: Frequency, Urgency, pelvic and bladder pain, bladder and pelvic spasms, difficulty starting urination, weak stream, incontinence, vaginal and urethral pain

    I've Tried:
    three Hydrodistentions, various Rescue Installments; 6 DSMO treatments; Pyridium Plus; Proced; Detrol (patch); Elavil; Uricet K; Elmiron; Nortiptyline; Ultram; Allegra; Ditropan; Ditropan ER; Vesicare; regular Lidocain; Neurontin; Lyrica; and few more I can't remember!
    Currently using:
    Valium; Vicadin; Proced DS; Claritin; Buffered Lidocain; Cymbalta; Baclofen; Prazosin @ night (also on Prednisone and Adderall for my joint pain and severe fatigue)
    Heating pads; frozen water bottles; A&D ointment; Poise pads; IC dieter since 8/06; yoga; imagery & relaxation CD, Mindfullness, self healing CD's; hot baths; seat cushion; prayer
    I am 28 yrs old, dx'ed in '06, still trying to get my health undercontrol!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks Baby for writing this that was very sweet of you
      Hugs
      Ronda

      ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


      Link to Patient Handbook:
      http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

      Diet Reference Sheet:
      http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

      Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

      Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

      Meds I have Tried:
      Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
      Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
      Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

      Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
      Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

      Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



      ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you Rachel, Ronda was showing me some of the messages and yours caught me and made me want to share my thoughts with everyone. I hope this helps some spouses to start to understand a little bit more.

        Dom
        Hugs
        Ronda

        ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


        Link to Patient Handbook:
        http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

        Diet Reference Sheet:
        http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

        Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

        Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

        Meds I have Tried:
        Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
        Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
        Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

        Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
        Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

        Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



        ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

        Comment


        • #5
          Ronda,

          I thought I had the only hubby that followed my IC closer then I do. I guess there is a few more. Mine has never missed and appointment either. Although I would never wish my pain on him as the only way I could do that would be to force feed him battery acid and something tells me that is illegal LOL. Thank god for hubby's stick there noses in our business sometimes. I am not sure what I would do without him somedays. and could strangle him on others

          Comment


          • #6
            LOL Leslie,

            I understand...I do thank God that I have him...
            Hugs
            Ronda

            ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


            Link to Patient Handbook:
            http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

            Diet Reference Sheet:
            http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

            Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

            Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

            Meds I have Tried:
            Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
            Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
            Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

            Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
            Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

            Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



            ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

            Comment


            • #7
              You are both lucky to have each other, Thanks Dom! My hubby takes the time as well to read up on my IC.
              Hugs Sandra
              "Never Give Up."

              To view pictures of my creative interests and Maine Coon kittens click here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/

              My Photobucket Link:
              http://s237.photobucket.com/albums/f...ramack_photos/

              Comment


              • #8
                WOW! Give your husband a hug!

                Robin
                The happiest people don't neccessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that comes their way!!



                Meds:
                IC: Elmiron, Tofranil, Hydroxyzine, Prosed DS, stool softener
                UC: Asacol

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks Dom.. if I could get my hubby to read on this sight I would fall over dead. He has gotten better at helping me out since we have Jake. he's been a bit more patient, and helpful. He knows I am getting worse with my IC and fibro, and has been doing all the laundry. well except for the last week. as I said in Ras post arguments do happen, in a man who lived in a black and white world.
                  'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yes, give him a hug from all of us!! You are very lucky and I too will be printing that out to share with my husband.

                    Kari
                    Kari

                    I'm 47 years old, married 27 years. I have two wonderful boys and two wonderful grandchildren. I was diagnosed in 1994. Life has certainly thrown me many many surprises, all of which I'm trying to stay positive and hopeful, and I try to think about my blessings not my misfortunes, when possible. Stay Strong!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks eveyrone,

                      I did give him a big hug...

                      Ronda
                      Hugs
                      Ronda

                      ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


                      Link to Patient Handbook:
                      http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

                      Diet Reference Sheet:
                      http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

                      Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

                      Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

                      Meds I have Tried:
                      Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
                      Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
                      Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

                      Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
                      Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

                      Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



                      ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        It's okay to give him another one for me. He's great!

                        Donna
                        Stay safe


                        Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
                        Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

                        Have you checked the ICN Shop?
                        Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

                        Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

                        Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

                        Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

                        AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

                        I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                        [3MG]

                        Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Ronda,
                          You have a very wonderful husband. I am also blessed and have a wonderful husband as well. I also thank God every day for him everyday.
                          Jen

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Very nice!
                            *IC-- Summer 2004; PFD--October 2005
                            *Fibro--Fall 2000; CFS-- Fall 2000
                            *MPS--Fall 2000; Crohn's disease-- 1997*IBS,GERD, *Migraines, hypothyroidism, GYN problems *Degenerative Disc Disease/scoliosis

                            Total Abdominal Hysterectomy--adenomyosis--9\08

                            04/17/09 Crohn's disease almost killed me with a combo of extreme constipation from pain medications. My bowel ruptured, I almost died from peritonitis and spent several days in the ICU then more in a private room on the floor. If you have any questions about severe constipation from pain meds please don't hesitate to send me a message.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks for Sharing your story Dom!

                              Rhonda is so lucky(as she kows) To have such a wonderful, supportinve husband during this hard time.

                              ERika
                              IC diagnosed officially via cysto/urodynamics 1/26/07

                              Grade II Endometriosis diagnosed via lap 12/11/07

                              "Fall down seven times, Stand up eight."

                              "Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think."

                              Current Treatments:
                              Interstim Since 5/25/07!
                              Birth Control

                              Comment

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