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Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex
Jen’s Tips for Great IC Sex
1. Take a Pyridium, AZO, or another urinary tract analgesic beforehand to help prevent urethral burning after intercourse. If you need them and have them handy, take a muscle relaxant and/or pain medication. Try to take it about 30 minutes or so before you have sex to give it time to work. You can also try an anti-inflammatory like Tylenol.
2. If you do home instills of lidocaine/heparin/bicarb, do one before the act and urinate it out before you have sex. This can help numb up the bladder and make you more comfortable during the act.
3. Take a warm bath or shower before going to bed with your honey. Try to relax as much as possible – if you’re taking a bath, set up candles if you like and just ENJOY. The hot water will help relax your pelvic muscles and will make sex easier later. Bonus points if you get your honey to join you in your bath or shower
, but if you’d just like to be alone, that’s fine – this is YOU time and you should use it the way YOU want.4. Urinate before you start.
5. Use massage to relax – exchange massages with your honey. It’s great foreplay, AND it will continue to relax those pelvic muscles in preparation for sex.
6. Use LOTS of lubricant during foreplay and intercourse itself. Many IC patients find that KY and Astroglide are good and gentle. My hubby and I use one called Liquid Silk, because it seems to last longer. It is available at http://www.drugstore.com or http://www.goodvibes.com, as are the others. A great thing to get at Good Vibes is their Lube Sampler Pack. It has all kinds of lubes in trial sizes (you’ll get a variety of about 6-8 types) and you can experiment and find which ones you like the most – good for you, and great fun for the both of you to experiment! HOWEVER, stay away from those lubes that say “warming” or “cooling” or “unique sensation” – I have not met an IC patient yet who can tolerate those. Most say they are a flare waiting to happen!
7. FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FORPLAY. In real estate, it’s location, location, location, but in IC sex it’s foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Give yourself a chance to relax and get into the act; don’t rush it!
8. When you are ready, have your honey penetrate you SLOOOOWWWWLY. Don’t just “dive in” to the act. This is especially important for those of us with Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD), as many PFD patients find that they feel a “ring of pain” around the opening of the vagina at penetration. If you go slowly, very slowly, you can take deep breaths and concentrate on relaxing those muscles down there. You’ll find that just by breathing slowly and thinking about how good it feels to be close to your honey, you will think less about pain and penetration will be easier.
9. EXPERIMENT. Once you’ve got your lube and your penetration strategy down, you’ll need to experiment with positions that you find are comfortable for you. We’re all different, and of course, everyone is shaped differently down there, so what works for one may not work for someone else. As you do this, you’ll find positions that work and don’t cause his penis to slam into your bladder … ouchie!!
10. Don’t mess with your G-spot. I KNOW that all the magazines and sex articles say it’s fabulous these days, but your G-spot is right near your urethra and bladder, and for most IC patients I’ve spoken to (including myself), going for that spot is more painful than pleasurable.
11. Skip rough stuff – limit vigorous thrusting, don’t use ribbed or “for her pleasure” condoms, etc. Most IC patients say they just leave you in pain.
12. Afterwards, if you have to urinate immediately, do so. However, it can help to lie still with a heating pad or ice pack on your abdomen and/or crotch area. Use either heat or ice, whatever feels best for you. Just rest and relax as much as you can at this point.
13. Make sure you eventually do urinate though to prevent infection (docs say you should urinate within 30 minutes for this to work).
14. If you get repeated infections after sex, ask your doctor for a low-dose, broad spectrum antibiotic to take afterwards to reduce your risk.
15. If you REALLY are not feeling up to it because you’re flaring or you just don’t feel like it, don’t be afraid to say NO. There is no sense making yourself worse, and you may end up resenting your partner. Instead, suggest other ways of pleasuring each other that don’t involve penetration.
16. Masturbate when you feel like it (and if you have time)
–I find that this reminds me that sexual activity and arousal can be pleasureable, rather than always associated with pain. 17. As above, have sex whenever you can and feel up to it – find your own ways of doing this so it is a fun activity. Try to do things so that you stop associating the activity with pain and frustration.
Above all – find your OWN tips and things that work for YOU.
THEN, share them here so we can all benefit from what you found out!!!!!!
Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
J/K thanks for the great tips
for that).
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