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Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

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  • haze
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    I know this may be a bit personal but I was wondering if others found shaving their pubic hair made symptoms ease at all???

    Leave a comment:


  • libbyf_2009
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    So glad I stumbled across this thread! I was diagnosed with IC in January, but have been suffering from IC symptoms for the last 2 years. I am currently not in a relationship, but in my last boyfriend was my first and only guy I've been with. For about the first year to year and a half I didn't have any pain during intercourse at all. Suddenly I started to have pain (I'd been having bladder pains for a while at this point) and it got to the point where we pretty much quit having sex all together. It would hurt so bad that I would start crying in pain during and make him quit. I would try and be strong for him, but it just wouldn't help. I think every time we had sex for the last year or so of our relationship I would be crying most of the time. Most people have posted that it feels like he is hitting your bladder, but that is not what my pain is like. For me, it feels like he is wearing sandpaper as a condom. It just BURNED like crazy and no matter what he did it would hurt SO BAD. Even if he wasn't moving at all I would still be in pain. Then afterwards it would burn so bad I would usually just curl up in a ball. Has anyone else had this pain? And it is not just with sex, anything in there hurts...

    I am currently single, (have been for a year now) and I am not really interested in a relationship right now. I think the reason why I am not interested in pursuing anything is because I don't want to go through all of that pain again. I feel like I am not fit to be a girlfriend/wife. All of this has caused some pretty serious self-esteem problems for me and I feel like I am less of a woman because of it. I do not want to be intimate with anyone. The one thing I have wanted all of my life is to be a mother (of course when the time is right), but right now I feel like that is the last thing I am even capable of.

    Could really use some advice, support, or ideas. It sounds like my symptoms are different than most people's IC sex pains.

    Leave a comment:


  • JoyDW
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    I was wondering if OAB drugs have helped anyone with reducing post-intimacy problems. I started taking Vesicare then switched to Myrabetriq. Usually my symptoms are pain/burning, but now I've noticed some times where I have constant pressure. I am doing diaphragmatic breathing to help, but it isn't working yet (at least not much). Now I'm starting to think that the pressure is related to intimacy with my husband. I can be in mild pain and if we are intimate (even if it is "just" orgasm and no penetration), the pain seems to totally go away for during and maybe an hour after (usually). I think it is all the "feel good" endorphins. Then I might get some tenderness but not always, the next morning I might feel the usual pain level, but it seems that about 24-48 hours after the intimacy, I get this constant need to pee and my bladder feels tender again. At first I thought it was the Myrabetriq, (since it seemed like my "after-intimacy" flares were different in the past: more like urethra cramps and some bladder tenderness), but I haven't been taking Myrabetriq that long, and I am starting to think it is the intimacy and maybe the symptoms have changed. But I know that some OAB meds can cause retention and I wonder if that is adding to the problem. Or maybe, if I stay on it long enough, the urgency/pressure I feel the next day after intimacy might go away (since those things are supposed to relieve the "got-to-go" feeling)? Has anyone had an OAB med help their sex life?
    We have been married all of 1.5 years. We were both 27 and virgins when we married (no experience with anyone whatsoever for either of us)! We were given great resources to prepare us during pre-marital counseling through our church and we had a marvelous time for a while. I have had IC symptoms since July 5 last year. I am thankful for the great (albeit short) period of marriage when I didn't have problems and had such a good time.
    I'm fortunate to have a man who is so self-disciplined that he was able to develop good strategies to distract himself from "urges" before we got married. (He has a billion hobbies and is so creative!) Now that we are married, he never complains, is very thoughtful, and puts my needs first when it comes to intimacy. When I asked him how he saw the changes that have happened because of my pain, he said something like, "Sex is only a small part of life. It's great for procreation and can give us some happiness, but it's really not all there is." He also reminded me that heaven is a lot longer than life! I'm glad he can take such a wide perspective of things!

    Leave a comment:


  • redapple
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    I'm so glad I found this thread. Thanks for the advice!!

    Leave a comment:


  • laurita.s
    replied
    Re: Sex and IC

    Hey Whitney,

    I'm in a sortof similar boat as you-after 7 or so months of flareups and waiting for doctors' visits and feeling awful with this condition, my uro finally started me on CystaQ and it's been helping me greatly! But like you, I was celibate the entire time I was in all that pain (for obvious reasons) and now, 2 months later, I'm reluctant to just jump back into dating and all. I don't foresee having sex with a partner anytime soon, because, like you, I worry so much about the pain coming back I doubt I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy things. I'm going to wait until I find someone really worth it, as you said, but still-I worry about eventually sleeping with a guy and things flaring up all over again.

    Keep me posted for what happens and any tips/tricks you tried to negate pain post-sex; I'd definitely be interested to know for future reference!

    Oh also, my PT gave me some stretches that I can do at home and I mixed in some yoga stretches there too-easy to do anywhere in the house where you have a comfy flat surface and some lube to help you (WARNING though: I need to not be wearing pants or underwear for mine, so not something you do in public! ) You might want to talk to your PT about stretches you can do at home post-sex to relax your muscles!

    Leave a comment:


  • candylea
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Thanks Jen! This has been an issue for me for many years, not just from IC, but I've had cysts that would rupture on my ovaries, two laperoscopies, a total hysterectomy, 3 cystoscope with hyrdodissention among countless other surgeries and procedures, so it seems like for the past 7 years, there has always been something going on "down there" making sex not so much fun. I also now have PFD, so needless to say, there's hasn't been a whole lot of action in our bedroom. Now when we do (maybe every 6 months or so) the problem is not so much when we're having sex but the pain comes afterwards. I have been married for 28 years and have the most understanding and patient husband I could ever dream of, but I know it's hard on him too. He is ok with this, he says he just never wants to be the cause of my pain intensifying.
    Thank you so much for your suggestions!

    Leave a comment:


  • NewtoIC2012
    replied
    moon heart has your hubby tried probiotics for the yeast problem? If not go to yiour nearest health food store or chiropractor and get some. make sure they are refrigerated or they aren't live and won't do any good. Might try having him eat yogurt if he likes it. yoplait has the live cultures and has lots of different flavors. Just a thought.

    Leave a comment:


  • NewtoIC2012
    replied
    If you can't be inthe bath tub long enough to relax the muscles you might try using a hot water bottle. I use it instead of a heating pad. Another thought to everyone and this is something I will probably try also, what about heating or cooling the lube? For ICJEN talk to your Dr. and see if they will put you on something for the urgency. You might also try drinking a glass of baking soda water before you get in the shower. 16oz of water and a teaspoon of baking soda, nasty but helps. Make sure it completely disolves before drinking. for me it takes about 20 mins to start working so by the time your done with the shower it should be kicking in.

    Leave a comment:


  • NewtoIC2012
    replied
    You said when he thrusts so I'm thinking missionary position. Try changing positions. You be on top or with him behind you. So far I have not found anything that helps. my problem is the pain after the orgasms and doesn't matter if it's one or ten still feel like someone has been beating on my lower stomach/pelvic region for a week after its like i'm bruised and my husband is very gentle. we've even tried using a dildo to start and help relax the pelvic muscles and I've tried all the above suggestions except using ice pack after wards will diffently try that next time.

    Leave a comment:


  • Asad Shahid
    replied
    thanks for the info please see if it can help you more Articles

    Leave a comment:


  • Asad Shahid
    replied
    Dating

    thanks for the info please see if it can help you more http://www.theonlinedatingexperts.com/.

    Leave a comment:


  • carole
    replied
    Cortney Yes I am able to have sex.I have little pain during but I have inflammation and pain for that day and especially the next day. This is a difficult issue for me as it is for many. It really makes me feel abnormal. I too have a partner that is supportive but it is still difficult as I am not able to have sex on a regular basis due to IC pain. Of all the challenges with my IC I find this the most difficult. The good news for you is that once your IC is treated you may find a decrease in symptoms and be able to have sex with little issues. There are many IC'ers who do ok. Best of luck I hope all settles for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • happygirltwo
    replied
    Hey Jodi!

    I think I've experienced what you're talking about. I've been experiencing these IC symptoms for 2 months straight and I'm not diagnosed yet but unfortunately I pretty sure I have it. Anyway, I've only tried having sex once (it had been about a month and a half and we were both getting frustrated with the lack of sex) and it was quite painful. It almost felt like there was already something in there being hit and the amount of pressure in the general area was almost unbearable.

    I had to stop after only about 2 minutes because I couldn't even pretend to enjoy it. I feel really sad about this. It's not that I need sex for physical reasons, I just really miss the emotional closeness during sex with my boyfriend. Thank god he is soo incredibly selfless and only concerned with my comfort. Still, I'm feeling really down about this because I feel like its another thing being taken away from me.

    Have any of you been able to have sex without pain since your IC developed?

    Leave a comment:


  • WhitneyWonders
    replied
    Sex and IC

    Thank you for posting this. I haven't been on the network in so long because I've been doing so well with my IC! Unfortunately I've also been abstinent from intercourse since being diagnosed almost two years ago, At first I was just so fearful of the pain and I also didn't have a monogamous partner so felt like I shouldn't risk it with just anyone. I'm 28, and trying to find someone to really enter into a long term relationship with and eventually marriage. I started dating someone a few months ago and this past weekend was the first time I've had sex since 2010. I have gone to PT for PFD and my PT says I am improving. I was happy to report that I did not feel pain upon him entering, but did feel in certain positions mostly missionary and when he was thrusting that my bladder felt like it was being poked and a sharp pain ensued. Other positions felt better, and I felt fine afterwards. It's now 3 days after intercourse and I'm in a bad flare. I haven't felt this type of pain in so long, it reminds me of how I felt when I was first diagnosed. I'm just so sad that it hurts and although my partner knows about my condition I've kept it under wraps about the severity of it. Looking at the list Jen so graciously offered I feel like these things are difficult to approach with someone so new. I don't know how to navigate this, and I'm so sad that sex isn't as fun as it used to be. If I feel this much pressure/pain a few days after sex it makes wanting it so challenging. I just would like to have a normal relationship. I see so many of you have loving supporting spouses and I just wonder if any of you have tips on how I should approach this in the dating world and what I can do to manage the pain/pressure? Does anyone else feel this pain/pressure 2-3 days after sex? I wonder why it isn't more immediate. It feels like my bladder is always full and there's just an achiness in the area right above pubic area, really my bladder. Any tips would be appreciated.

    Thank you,
    Whitney

    Leave a comment:


  • fairydust
    replied
    hi toypoodle71.i am not sure how you all got onto this subject but i would just like to say that you are having a female ejaculation.what you described is something i have had all my adult life.it does make it a bit hard.since starting my dsmo treatments last week,i have found this female ejaculation thing has stopped.it is normal what you are going through.it just means you are very turned on which is great.you will find a way to deal with it happening each time and to be quite honest,just enjoy it all.take care.

    Leave a comment:

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