Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex



    Jen’s Tips for Great IC Sex

    1. Take a Pyridium, AZO, or another urinary tract analgesic beforehand to help prevent urethral burning after intercourse. If you need them and have them handy, take a muscle relaxant and/or pain medication. Try to take it about 30 minutes or so before you have sex to give it time to work. You can also try an anti-inflammatory like Tylenol.

    2. If you do home instills of lidocaine/heparin/bicarb, do one before the act and urinate it out before you have sex. This can help numb up the bladder and make you more comfortable during the act.

    3. Take a warm bath or shower before going to bed with your honey. Try to relax as much as possible – if you’re taking a bath, set up candles if you like and just ENJOY. The hot water will help relax your pelvic muscles and will make sex easier later. Bonus points if you get your honey to join you in your bath or shower , but if you’d just like to be alone, that’s fine – this is YOU time and you should use it the way YOU want.

    4. Urinate before you start.

    5. Use massage to relax – exchange massages with your honey. It’s great foreplay, AND it will continue to relax those pelvic muscles in preparation for sex.

    6. Use LOTS of lubricant during foreplay and intercourse itself. Many IC patients find that KY and Astroglide are good and gentle. My hubby and I use one called Liquid Silk, because it seems to last longer. It is available at http://www.drugstore.com or http://www.goodvibes.com, as are the others. A great thing to get at Good Vibes is their Lube Sampler Pack. It has all kinds of lubes in trial sizes (you’ll get a variety of about 6-8 types) and you can experiment and find which ones you like the most – good for you, and great fun for the both of you to experiment! HOWEVER, stay away from those lubes that say “warming” or “cooling” or “unique sensation” – I have not met an IC patient yet who can tolerate those. Most say they are a flare waiting to happen!

    7. FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FORPLAY. In real estate, it’s location, location, location, but in IC sex it’s foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Give yourself a chance to relax and get into the act; don’t rush it!

    8. When you are ready, have your honey penetrate you SLOOOOWWWWLY. Don’t just “dive in” to the act. This is especially important for those of us with Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD), as many PFD patients find that they feel a “ring of pain” around the opening of the vagina at penetration. If you go slowly, very slowly, you can take deep breaths and concentrate on relaxing those muscles down there. You’ll find that just by breathing slowly and thinking about how good it feels to be close to your honey, you will think less about pain and penetration will be easier.

    9. EXPERIMENT. Once you’ve got your lube and your penetration strategy down, you’ll need to experiment with positions that you find are comfortable for you. We’re all different, and of course, everyone is shaped differently down there, so what works for one may not work for someone else. As you do this, you’ll find positions that work and don’t cause his penis to slam into your bladder … ouchie!!

    10. Don’t mess with your G-spot. I KNOW that all the magazines and sex articles say it’s fabulous these days, but your G-spot is right near your urethra and bladder, and for most IC patients I’ve spoken to (including myself), going for that spot is more painful than pleasurable.

    11. Skip rough stuff – limit vigorous thrusting, don’t use ribbed or “for her pleasure” condoms, etc. Most IC patients say they just leave you in pain.

    12. Afterwards, if you have to urinate immediately, do so. However, it can help to lie still with a heating pad or ice pack on your abdomen and/or crotch area. Use either heat or ice, whatever feels best for you. Just rest and relax as much as you can at this point.

    13. Make sure you eventually do urinate though to prevent infection (docs say you should urinate within 30 minutes for this to work).

    14. If you get repeated infections after sex, ask your doctor for a low-dose, broad spectrum antibiotic to take afterwards to reduce your risk.

    15. If you REALLY are not feeling up to it because you’re flaring or you just don’t feel like it, don’t be afraid to say NO. There is no sense making yourself worse, and you may end up resenting your partner. Instead, suggest other ways of pleasuring each other that don’t involve penetration.

    16. Masturbate when you feel like it (and if you have time) –I find that this reminds me that sexual activity and arousal can be pleasureable, rather than always associated with pain.

    17. As above, have sex whenever you can and feel up to it – find your own ways of doing this so it is a fun activity. Try to do things so that you stop associating the activity with pain and frustration.

    Above all – find your OWN tips and things that work for YOU.

    THEN, share them here so we can all benefit from what you found out!!!!!!
    Last edited by icnmgrjill; 02-09-2006, 08:37 AM.
    ****
    Jen

    *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
    *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
    *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
    *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

    **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

  • #2
    Thanks Jen! Very helpful and informative! liz

    Comment


    • #3
      great tips thanks for sharing
      'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you, Jen! Very helpful suggestions!

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks Jen! What a great list.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks Jen! I'll start giving a link to this thread away right away. I'll include what I had started in my reply. :woohoo: Great Job!!!


            Drink water before and after to make yourself pee to cleanse your bladder.
            Empty your bladder afterwards and shower to get rid of bacteria. Also, don't have
            sex again until your partner showers for the same reason.
            Use plenty of lubricant.
            Use a heating pad.
            Apply a warm or cold cloth to your vaginal area afterwards (whichever works for you).
            Some people numb the area with lidocaine.
            I take an antibiotic afterwards to ward off an infection.
            I try to avoid oral sex, others may not see it as a problem

            lidocaine gel. Also some for of pyrididium (such as Uristat or AZO standard) before hand. I recommend staying perfectly still for at least 15 minutes before and after and using moisture and alternating heat and cold. I usually use a heat pad on me during. I also recommend Lavender Lotion...it can help to put you in the mood and is calming...thus rubbing it on your pelvic musscles can help relax the tightness and prevent spasms.

            Slow, over fast








            I also recommend doing a search on this board...there are a lot of ideas.
            http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/ there are ideas here.

            http://icnshop.com/cgi-bin/ustoreke...ssage_Oils.html There are lubricants and message oils available at the INC store that are IC friendly.
            Faith, Hope, and Love,
            Katrina


            I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

            IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
            or find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/kat671?ref=profile
            Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

            [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!

            Comment


            • #7
              These are great tips...and from my own experience, being persistent in following the self-care tips that work for me always mean the difference between "glowing" the next day after a lovely nightcap with my sweetie or writhing in pain and unable to sit comfortably!

              Sometimes I miss the old days (it's been years now) where I could just be spontaneous, but my boyfriend understands and is patient enough to wait!
              Namaste

              "You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

              "The most important medicine is tender love and care" - Mother Teresa

              Proud mother of Ahleia, born on April 9, 2007

              -----------------------
              Diagnosed with:
              IC, OAB, Congenital urethral stricture, IBS, Vulvar vestibulitis, Heart murmur, Congenital cervical stenosis...but otherwise doing great!

              Meds:
              Currently in remission, but took the following for 3 years: Elmiron 200 mg., Elavil 25 mg., Detrol LA 4mg, Ovcon-35

              Health treatments/practices:
              Kripalu yoga, Chiropractic, Massage therapy and Reiki

              Comment


              • #8
                sex? what is that J/K thanks for the great tips

                Comment


                • #9
                  Woo hoo! Glad to see the sticky!!!!

                  Hugs!
                  Hugs,
                  Tracey
                  How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

                  Harry arrived 2/23/09!



                  *IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                  IC Diet Cheat Sheet:
                  http://www.ic-network.com/diet/2009icdietlist.pdf



                  Dx's:
                  IC dx'd Nov 2004
                  Lymphocytic Colitis dx'd July 2005
                  Possible IBS
                  Current IC Meds
                  Vistaril 25mg in the evening
                  Previous IC Meds taken:
                  Cystoprotek - 2 caps 2x's a day
                  Elmiron, 100mg 3x's a day
                  Ditropan, 5 mg 3x's a day
                  Others:
                  Wellbutrin 150mg 2x's a day for Anxiety/IBS
                  Pepcid 40mg a day for GERD
                  Zytrec for Nasal Allergies
                  Align Probiotic daily for IBS

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks Jen great job...

                    :woohoo: :woohoo:

                    Have to try some of these out
                    Minds are like parachutes-they ony function when they are open.
                    -Thomas DeWar-



                    ICN Newbie Volunteer


                    *ICN Angel Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Great post......thank you for posting this, and in such great detail. I know you answered a lot of questions that many people are uncomfortable asking!

                      Hugs!!!
                      *IC-- Summer 2004; PFD--October 2005
                      *Fibro--Fall 2000; CFS-- Fall 2000
                      *MPS--Fall 2000; Crohn's disease-- 1997*IBS,GERD, *Migraines, hypothyroidism, GYN problems *Degenerative Disc Disease/scoliosis

                      Total Abdominal Hysterectomy--adenomyosis--9\08

                      04/17/09 Crohn's disease almost killed me with a combo of extreme constipation from pain medications. My bowel ruptured, I almost died from peritonitis and spent several days in the ICU then more in a private room on the floor. If you have any questions about severe constipation from pain meds please don't hesitate to send me a message.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I posted this to give all new ICers having trouble with sex an idea of what to start with... so if anyone else has anything to add to this list, or a tip that's made your life easier, PLEASE SHARE... this is by no means a comprehensive list and I would LOVE to have other contributions as well (thanks to Katrina especially for that).
                        ****
                        Jen

                        *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
                        *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
                        *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
                        *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

                        **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          hey jen-thank you for sharing your tips! it's really too bad that ICer's cannot enjoy s-e-x like before! it really is disappointing...but oh well, take what life throws at you and find a way to work around it i suppose.

                          i just had a question for you or any other of you out there. when my boyfriend and i actually do have intercourse (of course it's painful no matter what time of the day it is or etc), and when he is "thrusting" (sorry-it seems so vulgar!) it feels as if he's hitting something and it really is uncomfortable. i've never, ever, experienced pain there before i was diagnosed with IC. i'm wondering if you or anyone else would know what IS he hitting? my uro-gyno said it could be the bladder or the cervix/uterus?


                          jodi

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you Jen,
                            Just noticed this thread.
                            I just wanted to add that the lube I like the most is called "Slippery Stuff". It is also the lube that most PFD physical therapists use on their patients! (That is how I foudn out about it.)
                            I also find that after I orgasm I cannot stand penetration anymore (ouch!) and have to have him pull out and do other things for him. Also, multiple orgasms (which I used to be really happy that I could have) really hurt. Just one for me now!
                            30 year old Mother, Midwife, Birth Doula, Herbalist, and Massage Therapist with sudden onset of IC approx. 2/16/05 (after a PAP smear and routine gynecological exam). I tried a HUGE list of natural and alternative treatments (including Cystoprotek, Desert Harvest Aloe, Aloe gel, Glucosamine/Chondroitin, L-Argenine, Quercitin/Bromelain, Marshmallow Root...etc) for the first 9 months of having IC, without much relief, until I finally researched and started Elmiron.

                            My experience:
                            ~Previously took Elmiron 100mg three times a day
                            (9/29/05-7/06)
                            ~Experimented with dosage (1-2 Elmiron a day recapped into a plain gelcap) and did well with occasional mild flares. (7/06-9/09)
                            ~Stopped all together at the 1 year mark (9/29/06) for 10 days. Still felt good, with low-level symptoms.
                            ~Decided to go back on it (10/16/06) to see if another year on it will bring me into full (zero symptoms) remission. Currently taking 1-2 pills a day, recapped into a plain gelcap.
                            ~ 6/08...Tried to go off Elmiron again, had huge flare at the 3 week mark, went back on 100mg once a day for maintenance.
                            -I went off Elmiron for 2 months due to pregnancy and had a complete relapse of IC symptoms to pre-diagnosis levels of pain/frequency. I then went back on Elmiron at 10-12 weeks, but was unable to take it further due to severe morning sickness. The 2nd/3rd trimesters were MUCH better IC-wise, and postpartum is the best I have felt in years. I am no longer on Elmiron for now.
                            -20 month postpartum remission from 4/17/09 to 12/10/10.
                            -Out of remission after a pap smear on 12/10/10. Pap smears are obviously the main IC trigger for me. Currently trying to cope with loss of the remission.

                            Also doing:
                            ~Sugar-free/gluten free and strict IC diet (With an emphasis on organic, alkaline and whole foods)
                            ~Prenatal DHA/Fish oil supplement
                            ~Vitamin D supplement
                            ~Culturelle probiotic

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              As for what he's hitting, Jodi -- I can't be sure, but it could be your bladder, especially if you noticed it around the time of your IC diagnosis. If you're REALLY curious, you may want to have your doctor GENTLY feel around in there to find the spot -- he/she can likely tell you what it is based on feel.
                              ****
                              Jen

                              *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
                              *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
                              *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
                              *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

                              **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X