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Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

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    MUSHELLEY
    ICN Member

  • MUSHELLEY
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    How do you cope with having VV and sex? Would love to talk with you more if you don’t mind. I am not sure but I think I have this. Only hurts with pressure from sitting....burns! No problems during sex.

    Leave a comment:

  • carole
    Support Volunteer

  • carole
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    wow I just want to say how amazing you are to care enough to do the research on a disease you don't have to make things easier on your girlfriend. You are our hero! Sex one or twice a week. If she has IC and is able to manage that you are already doing very well. Lots of people with IC cannot have sex at all or rarely. there are lot who still do have sex regularly but once to twice a week is what a healthy couple who doesn't have pelvic pain has so I am actually jealous. I haven't had sex in about 5 months due to chronic infections. The tips you noted below are what I follow. I also use an anti inflammatory after sex to keep the inflammation down. Pelvic floor therapy has been very successful for many also. The burning is inflammation she has. I am fine during sex as well it's after hours or the day after that the burning starts. I am sure you will get some good feedback here to help you out. Good luck and from an IC sufferer point of view thank you so much for being willing to walk this battle with one of us and caring enough to do the research. I truly mean it when I say you are our hero!

    Originally posted by Amonty72 View Post
    Hi everyone,

    I've been dating an incredible woman who was diagnosed with IC about a year ago.

    We have great sex. Nothing in the foreplay or during sex seemed to be a problem. It's after the act. She experiences the burning urethra that gets so bad she'll go for an instillation. I feel absolutely horrible because I feel it's something that I'm causing her. We slowly are incorporating some of the techniques described in these threads. I feel like we're making some progress. We've even come to an understanding that sex may be a one to two times a week activity.

    Some things we've incorporated so far:
    Cool cone dilator, Valium suppositories, peeing before and after, lubricant (organic coconut oil), cool damp cloth placed on vulva/urethra followed by an Epsom salt/baking soda 20 minute warm bath. If the urethral pain is really bad she'll schedule an instillation with her urologist. We take things very slow, minimize any grinding on the urethral area, I hold my weight off of her pelvic/stomach area, utilize positions that minimize urethral rubbing.

    So my questions:
    1. I've read that after sex a cool cloth should be placed on the vulva/urethra area to cool things down. I've also heard of utilizing a heating pad. When is it time to use hot or cold to help?
    2. I've also read that drinking water with a small amount of baking soda and peeing a couple times before sex will run the mixture through the bladder and through the urethra. Will this help with the after sex burning feeling?
    3. Pyridium is a suggestion I read. Is this something that needs to be taken daily or is this a medication that can be taken only before sex with plenty of water. Also, peeing a couple times before sex to run the mixture through the bladder and urethra. What does the Pyridium do and is there any side effects to be aware of? She already has to take meds and the thought of introducing another may not be in her interest.
    4. Positions using pillows. We know that positions play a huge role of how bad she'll hurt afterward. Anything keeping me away from rubbing against the urethral area will limit the amount of discomfort afterwards. Anyone use pillows or those Liberator products and have had success with them?
    5. One of the obstacles we're not sure how to get around is size. She tells me I'm larger than average. This is a challenge for us because with all we've able to try there will still be some discomfort. Anyone have similar experiences and tips on how to overcome this?
    6. Since we know that sex is more comfortable once or twice a week, is it safe to have sex more than once on our "date" night? We still follow the routines we have in place but we may have sex twice in the same night.

    I really care very much about my girlfriend and we've even discussed long term future plans together. I can see and feel her frustration after sex and she begins to feel the burning come on. Sometimes she'll vent that frustration and it makes me feel down. But I can't imagine what she is going through. When she describes the pain she endures because of sex any venting towards me I feel is completely justified. I want to do my part in making sure the pain is the absolute minimum it can possibly be. Perhaps with some luck and the advice in these forums we may find a good combination or routine that allows us to have sex without any discomfort to her. It may be possible, right?

    Any feedback or advice is greatly appreciated.

    Leave a comment:

  • Amonty72
    ICN Member

  • Amonty72
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Hi everyone,

    I've been dating an incredible woman who was diagnosed with IC about a year ago.

    We have great sex. Nothing in the foreplay or during sex seemed to be a problem. It's after the act. She experiences the burning urethra that gets so bad she'll go for an instillation. I feel absolutely horrible because I feel it's something that I'm causing her. We slowly are incorporating some of the techniques described in these threads. I feel like we're making some progress. We've even come to an understanding that sex may be a one to two times a week activity.

    Some things we've incorporated so far:
    Cool cone dilator, Valium suppositories, peeing before and after, lubricant (organic coconut oil), cool damp cloth placed on vulva/urethra followed by an Epsom salt/baking soda 20 minute warm bath. If the urethral pain is really bad she'll schedule an instillation with her urologist. We take things very slow, minimize any grinding on the urethral area, I hold my weight off of her pelvic/stomach area, utilize positions that minimize urethral rubbing.

    So my questions:
    1. I've read that after sex a cool cloth should be placed on the vulva/urethra area to cool things down. I've also heard of utilizing a heating pad. When is it time to use hot or cold to help?
    2. I've also read that drinking water with a small amount of baking soda and peeing a couple times before sex will run the mixture through the bladder and through the urethra. Will this help with the after sex burning feeling?
    3. Pyridium is a suggestion I read. Is this something that needs to be taken daily or is this a medication that can be taken only before sex with plenty of water. Also, peeing a couple times before sex to run the mixture through the bladder and urethra. What does the Pyridium do and is there any side effects to be aware of? She already has to take meds and the thought of introducing another may not be in her interest.
    4. Positions using pillows. We know that positions play a huge role of how bad she'll hurt afterward. Anything keeping me away from rubbing against the urethral area will limit the amount of discomfort afterwards. Anyone use pillows or those Liberator products and have had success with them?
    5. One of the obstacles we're not sure how to get around is size. She tells me I'm larger than average. This is a challenge for us because with all we've able to try there will still be some discomfort. Anyone have similar experiences and tips on how to overcome this?
    6. Since we know that sex is more comfortable once or twice a week, is it safe to have sex more than once on our "date" night? We still follow the routines we have in place but we may have sex twice in the same night.

    I really care very much about my girlfriend and we've even discussed long term future plans together. I can see and feel her frustration after sex and she begins to feel the burning come on. Sometimes she'll vent that frustration and it makes me feel down. But I can't imagine what she is going through. When she describes the pain she endures because of sex any venting towards me I feel is completely justified. I want to do my part in making sure the pain is the absolute minimum it can possibly be. Perhaps with some luck and the advice in these forums we may find a good combination or routine that allows us to have sex without any discomfort to her. It may be possible, right?

    Any feedback or advice is greatly appreciated.

    Leave a comment:

  • candylea
    ICN Member

  • candylea
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Originally posted by icshorty View Post
    I was just reading a blog on pelvicpainrehab.com dated May 12,2016 entitled "Slippery When Wet" .The pelvic rehab PT said that KY jelly, Astroglide,Replens and Gynol II all kill the natural lactobacilli that maintain a healthy vaginal environment.Wow, my PA recommended Replens,fortunately I don't often need it. Recommended were coconut oil,aloe, and others.I highly recommend the website and the blog too-lots of topics of current interest regarding many aspects of pelvic health and disease.
    Thanks for the info icshorty, when I was going to PT, she never mentioned anything like that, but I have so much pain in that region, sex has been non existent for at least a year now. I have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction as well as Fibromyalgia, but this is really good to know.

    Leave a comment:

  • icshorty
    ICN Member

  • icshorty
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    I was just reading a blog on pelvicpainrehab.com dated May 12,2016 entitled "Slippery When Wet" .The pelvic rehab PT said that KY jelly, Astroglide,Replens and Gynol II all kill the natural lactobacilli that maintain a healthy vaginal environment.Wow, my PA recommended Replens,fortunately I don't often need it. Recommended were coconut oil,aloe, and others.I highly recommend the website and the blog too-lots of topics of current interest regarding many aspects of pelvic health and disease.

    Leave a comment:

  • Aaarrrggghhh
    ICN Member

  • Aaarrrggghhh
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    So many great tips there thanks. I also do the ice pack after to reduce inflammation,and lube is a must. I try to reduce the amount of time we "thrust" for and that helps. I put a cortisone cream just on the underside of the urethra where redness occurs from penetration. I also take a ural in the morning to ease the "first morning wee". I've just started taking trimethoprim post coital to reduce infections.

    Leave a comment:

  • Aaarrrggghhh
    ICN Member

  • Aaarrrggghhh
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Hi Jodi,
    I know what you mean and it can be uncomfortable. Do you experience this all the time or only occasionally?
    I think I get this sometimes too, and I know I do just before a period when my uterus is slightly swollen and full. Also he can definitely be hitting your bladder. So try another position when you are vigorously thrusting like him from behind (doggy style) as this drops your bladder forward and out of the way for me. You on top bent forward is another good one because you can adjust how much penetration there is. And remember our vaginas are only about4 inches long so they are going to be hitting all soft tissue around the cervix , bladder, bowel. I find if all these organs are full there's not much room to move. Good luck:-)

    Leave a comment:

  • carole
    Support Volunteer

  • carole
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Lizzle117 I take Naproxen either just before or after sex to keep pain and inflammation down.My problem is really not during sex but after. I get a lot of inflammation. The Naproxen really helps. I also take 1 Macrobid antibiotic after sex to prevent uti's. During sex I use coconut oil as a lubricant. It helps with uti's as it is an antibacterial. Hope that hepls.

    Leave a comment:

  • Lizzle117
    ICN Member

  • Lizzle117
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    I have been with my boyfriends for 3.5 years, and he has been very patient with my IC, understanding that having sex for me is very painful. I tend to get a sharp pain and constant burning during and afterwards, and am usually uncomfortable for several days afterwards. Does anyone have any tips to reduce painful symptoms during/from sex? I'd love to have a healthy sex life once again, and I'm currently very nervous to try.

    Thanks!

    Leave a comment:

  • samirjdesai
    ICN Member

  • samirjdesai
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    is anyone know sex tips for men ?

    i have IC with Fibromyalgia

    Leave a comment:

  • northeast
    ICN Member

  • northeast
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Yes, libbyf_2009, the burning sensation that you describe is the pain that I have experienced with intercourse. It has nothing to do with my bladder hurting like many others have described. Switching from a water based lube to a 100% silicone lube was helpful. I am more than twice your age, so estrogen deficiency is a contributor, however I take bioidentical estrogen and this too has been of assistance. Please let me know if you have made any more progress since your post as I too would like to get to the bottom of this.

    Leave a comment:

  • laurita.s
    ICN Member

  • laurita.s
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Hey all, I've got a question for the masses:

    I have been on CystaQ for about 10 months now, and vaginal valium cream suppositories 2x a week at the lowest possible dose for about 2 1/2 months, and they have both helped me greatly. My question is, do any of you find that vaginal valium hampers your ability to get um, aroused, before sex? I have been celibate in the year and a half that I've had this condition, never had any prospects, but I'm now noticing that even just by myself at home, I'm super dry a lot of the time, even after I've been thinking about stuff that usually turns me into a virtual waterfall, if you know what I mean

    could the muscles be so relaxed that they aren't able to, I don't know...tighten up in preparation for doin' the horizontal mambo? I ask you all this because I really, *really* don't want to talk to my condescending male pharmacist about this :P

    Leave a comment:

  • haze
    ICN Member

  • haze
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Thanks Beau859 I also shave because I to feel it lessens the chance of infection.

    Just wanted to let people know last night hubby and I had sex and afterwards i followed the tips of cold washer, going to toilet etc afterwards and I also had a glass of water with half a teaspoon of baking soda in it and I was pain free when I woke up this morning!!!! for the last two days Ive been having Baking soda in water morning and nite and honextly Im amazed at the difference its made to me!

    Leave a comment:

  • krist656
    ICN Member

  • krist656
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    Libby, can I ask why you are on BC? ... Did you start taking them just when starting relationship? I would suggest to read threads about estrogen and hormonal connections to IC. If BC pill is not strongly recommended to you for some reasons, speak with your uro or gyno and try to get off of it for a while, it can be that it gets better. Also you can try estrogen cream.

    Leave a comment:

  • Beau859
    ICN Member

  • Beau859
    replied
    Re: Jen's Tips for Great IC Sex

    My wife of 26 yrs has IC and we found keeping shaved reduces infections and she has stayed shaved for yrs now it is a lot better for her.
    I also shave to reduce her chance of infection we have found it beneficial .
    Thanks
    Husband of IC patient 26 yrs

    Leave a comment:

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