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  • SOOO frustrated

    As many of you may remember, I had a cystoscopy this week which has basically thrown me into a flare that is still going strong. My poor hubby was really in need of some lovin' if you know what I mean. Even though I knew it was probably going to make my flare worse I told him I wanted to have sex.
    Here's where the frustration comes in.....about a month ago the doctor put hubby on Paxil because he was having ALOT of anxiety. The paxil has worked wonders on his anxiety, he feels a lot better and he is sleeping the best he has the whole time that we've been together. But from what we have read paxil has one of the highest risks for sexual side effects of all antidepressants. Sooooo, hubby has no probably become aroused but he can't climax. So we had sex for almost an hour and I'm hurting like crazy, feeling like I'm going to die and he doesn't even feel like he is close to finishing. He asks if I'm okay, I really can't lie at this point, so I say, I'm not okay, so of course he wants to stop because he feels horrible that I'm in pain. But then I feel horrible because he didn't climax and hasn't in over a week. I tried to help him manually but this didn't work either. Now he's depressed and upset and I'm in pain and didn't even make my hubby happy for my pain!!!! He mentioned this to the doctor and the doctor basically said it might get better but he feels that he reallys needs to stay on the paxil and doesn't want to change it. UGH!!!!!
    Christine



    I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
    1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
    2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
    I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

    I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

    Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
    Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

  • #2
    I don't know if this would make any difference for your husband, but here's what I have found as a female and with a different antidepressant: When hubby and I had sex after I'd taken my dose of Lexapro it took FOREVER for me to orgasm. But if I wait to take my dose AFTER we've had sex, I am fine. Worth a shot just in case it might make a difference.
    Kim

    Diagnosed August 2001

    Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)


    Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)

    I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.

    *****************************

    “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl

    “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian Tracy

    Comment


    • #3
      My thoughts were exactly what VM told you so I won;t repeat itagain. Good luck hun figuring it all out.

      Comment


      • #4
        He actually didn't take the dose until afterwards!!! Ugh! Thanks for the advise though.
        Christine



        I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
        1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
        2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
        I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

        I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

        Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
        Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

        Comment


        • #5
          I really dont know what to say but I thought you needed a (((((((((hug)))))))))))))...
          Hugs
          Ronda

          ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


          Link to Patient Handbook:
          http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

          Diet Reference Sheet:
          http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

          Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

          Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

          Meds I have Tried:
          Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
          Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
          Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

          Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
          Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

          Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



          ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Don't worry Ronda, I didn't really expect people to have an answer. I just wanted to vent. I feel like such a failure as a wife sometimes. Before he started taking the Paxil I at least knew that I could make him feel good, even if it hurt me, I could make him feel good and happy in that way, because that is very important to him, and obviously w/ my issues that has suffered. Now I can't even do that for him. He hasn't been able to climax in a week and a half.
            Christine



            I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
            1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
            2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
            I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

            I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

            Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
            Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

            Comment


            • #7
              I would talk to the doctor again, because there is other meds out there that would help him..Maybe though it will just take time for his system to get used to the meds..
              Hugs
              Ronda

              ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


              Link to Patient Handbook:
              http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

              Diet Reference Sheet:
              http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

              Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

              Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

              Meds I have Tried:
              Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
              Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
              Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

              Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
              Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

              Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



              ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

              Comment


              • #8
                Christine
                When I had the problem that your husband is having I would take my antidpressant Monday-Friday, and skip it on the weekends. That made it a lot easier for me to have fun on the weekends . Maybe it's something your husband could discuss with his doctor.
                Best wishes

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks. We can talk to the dr about that. But from what the dr said he really wants him to stay on it so I doubt he would think it's a good idea to skip two days out of the week. I just hope by some miracle his body gets used to the medicine and he just goes back to normal in that regard.
                  Christine



                  I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
                  1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
                  2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
                  I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

                  I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

                  Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
                  Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

                  Comment

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