Stopped pill-now condoms--Huge FLARE

[bunni29]

Hi friends:

MAJOR FLARE

I stopped the birth control pill 3 months ago after taking it for about 12 years or so, b/c my doctor found some lesions on my liver that can be caused by taking the birth control pill.

Well my husband and I don't have sex very much b/c usually afterwards I end up with major pressure and frequency........but this time was BAD the worst I think

So it's been about 3 months or so, and I got some TROJAN condoms -lubricated, extra strength -NO Spermicide....

I thought I would try it.....well my husband said he really couldn't feel anything --well I could!!!

So I got on top and then he could feel it.....but it lasted for a long time since he really didn't get the same feeling..........

Since we went sooooooooo long and I was on top....I am now in a huge huge flare....major pressure and frequency....

I also was in remission for about a year or more on and off.............and now I'm back to square one again..........FLARED UP....

I'm also on NO medicine, just nautral

My question is since I was in remission ...it had to have been the sex that flared me up....right?

Could have the condoms caused any of the flare?

Is there certain positions that work better to NOT cause a flare?

Is there certain condoms out there that maybe he could wear that he could actually feel something?

I'm sooo sooo upset............
My remission was wonderful and such a blessing and now I'm flared up again like old times -it's a terrible feeling, but I know that sex is important ......my husband is wonderful and the most understanding....we do do other things....but we hadn't had sex for over 3 months.......

HELP any advice please

how to calm down this terrible flare....and help me go back in remission again...........

This flare is one of the worst......b/c when I was on the pill it didn't get this bad after sex....

thanks friends
bunni

[ICNDonna]

Finding the best position can be a challenge and may be different for different people. The one thing that helps me most is to use lots of lubricant --- there have been ads on TV about a new one that is warm --- that might help solve the condom problem.

I had a hysterectomy 30 years ago so I am not up on birth control methods.

Good luck!
Donna

[vm]

Bunni - You might look in this part of the Patient Handbook dealing with sex: http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/sex.html

Here are a few things it talks about:

Rule #10: Think LUBRICATION!
Did you know that vaginal skin is ten times more sensitive than any other skin on your body? The friction of any type of sexual activity can inflame these sensitive tissues if arousal isn't complete or if their isn't enough lubrication. Lubrication is an essential tool so that vulva and vagina aren't abraded and bruised. It is not unusual to use significant amounts of lubricant with each sex act.. i.e. half a tube of K-Y jelly or Astroglide.

Rule #11: Trying various sexual positions
Sexual positions can also provoke more or less pain, particularly during penetration. You may want to experiment with different positions, particularly those which take pressure off the urethra. Dr. Ruth recommends the spoon position... as an ideal option for women who are pregnant. Other positions can include: the woman on top, the woman astride the man in a chair, or from behind. Remember, penetration is always easiest when the woman is fully aroused!

Rule #12: Use Contraception When Appropriate
Some IC patients and spouses have anecdotally reported that some creams and spermicides are irritants to both the vagina and the tip of the penis. The New England Journal of Medicine referenced above specifically cites the use of a diaphragm with spermicide as being a possible cause of some infections. Others ICers have found that they may have an allergy to the rubber in condoms. If you develop irritation or symptoms after trying a new type of contraception, review it with your physician. Ms. Kilmartin offers three logical rules for contraception: (1) If it's comfortable and you are healthy, use it. (2) If you develop strange aches and pains coincidentally, check it out. (3) If it hurts, change it!

I hope you feel better soon! kissing

[arcticfox]

Thanks Kim for the information on sex from the patients handbook! My boyfriend and I did not have sex for a long time as I have endometriosis and at the moment I am taking Lupron shots for the pain. I makes my body go on a fake menopause! Fun, fun, fun! Plus I had a case of hemmoroids for a while, didn't feel very attractive. Plus I was having some very bad flares. Needless to say I did want to have sex. So I think my body has finally adjusted to the Lupron and I am not spotting. Just remember that you need to be ready for any kind of penetration, if it hurts, stop it and tell your partner. I did and he was very understanding. We now try different positions. Sex should be fun for both of you, not just one. kissing

[ic-debra]

It could be a latex allegy, too. Have you tried alternative condoms?

[michele]

a good sexual position for ic women

hi...maybe this will help you...i can tolerate both of these with virtually no pain (and they often feel really good, like sex used to before i got ic)...

my boyfriend and i like to face each other, and then i hitch my top leg over his hip. it's hard to go really deep and the position doesn't allow for a lot of pounding into the bladder wall, which i can never take for long.

the other is plain old missionary...sounds boring but it's always been one of my favorites and if you put a pillow under your butt and don't bring your knees up too high...i find that the angle of his thrusting is much better.

doggie style and being on top are very tough for me. oral sex is always great...and you can work your way back into sex slowly with a combination of oral sex and the use of fingers.

for sex, use lots of lube...can't ever have too much. and sometimes with sex and ic people, i think we get so tensed up beforehand anticipating the pain during, pain after, and just generally being annoyed that we have this instead of having a "normal" sex life like everyone else...i think we also could use a little relaxation right before. oral sex works for me but everyone has a different preference .

re: condoms, if you have an issue with latex or even think you do, try durex...they are made without latex and they are also supposedly more sensitive for him as well.

good luck, go get some.

[PikkuMyy]

I can only second previous suggestions:

1. LUBE LUBE LUBE

I recommend Liquid Silk. I had some burning, etc. issues with others but not with this one. It stays slippery the whole time and you don't need nearly as much as you do with other brands.

2. Lifestyles extra sensitive condoms make it easy (easier...) for him to feel what's going on.

3. Did I mention LUBE?

4. Missionary with my legs up and around his back works really well. Also, me on top facing him with lots of control. Him behind me facing the wall with my leg up on it. and others. Play around with it... (heehee, that's not what I meant!

Good luck!
Emily

[Dixiefireball]

i have the latex allegy even when i'm in the hosp they have a big sign on my door that says latex allegy.
How ever i do use cath. I don't understand that very much but i do know that as long as latex doesnt say on my skin long it doesnt bother me. hummmmm go figure???

[the_lost_lenore]

Hey about the condoms. Latex is so irritating for me and those polyurethane things are no better. I know it's expensive but try what I use...NaturaLamb condoms that are made of animal skin. Yeah I know sounds gross, but better than burning & stinging any day if you ask me.

[XoChelsey03Xo]

I have no clue to be honoest with you? I know though that before I started on Yasmin I had huge problems. I would bleed for months and get like 3 days off. I would have huge flares as well. I have been on Yasmin for about a year now and the everyday flares have went away. Although I still had some really bad stomach pain. I don't know what to tell you. It could of been the sex. I'm not really sure though. Chelsey

[lledoux_2000]

Try try and try again

Hello.
Newbie here. I was diagnosed in Aug 2005 - although my entire life I knew something wasn't right. My legs stayed broken out in an itchy rash - migraines, and endometriosis... With infertility treatments --- last treatment w/Lupron about 10 years ago...and endo. -which bothered me in my early 20's, I just didn't know that's what it was - I had no alternative but to find comfortable positions for sex. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary a couple of months ago and although I grieved when I got yet another diagnosis to make my life more challenging - I also started researching a way to take back some of what was taken.

[noirjezza]

Unlubricated condoms

Now, I don't mean have sex unlubricated, but if you bought the kind of condoms that have lubrication on them, I have found them to be very irritating. So, when I use condoms, We buy the unlubricated kind and add KY or other lubrication that I have found that I can tolerate.
Must agree with others- I wouldn't rule out latex sensitivity though.
I certainly hope you feel better soon and have an understanding partner!