Does your S/O understand??

[nogo]

My hubby just can't get it. He tries and for a short while he sort of understands, but then he kind of glazes over and moves on. Like some of you, I just wish he could feel this misery for one day...just one day and I know it would change his outlook forever. He says all the right words, but the honest to goodness understanding and compassion is just not there. It breaks my heart because I didn't ever want to be the 'sickly' wife/mother and here I am.

[Briza]

I can only hope that everyone here will find someone (or has found someone) as loving as I have. It's really made a difference in the way I feel about myself, and treat myself, knowing that I'm not going through this alone.
That was sappy I know, but it made me realize how much he copes with for me.

Not sappy at all, always good to read about how couples cope, and cope well. Gives those of us who don't have that a lot of hope that it can be done. I am really happy for you and all the others who have shared their good experiences in this thread. You know, if I hadn't had the bad experience with my ex-fiance, I wouldn't know what I need and must have in a future relationship, not only regarding my medical conditions but so many other things, too. The world works in strange ways, even if we don't know why we have to go thru the BS to get there

[oascout230]

My husband says he understands, we've been married almost 4yrs now. He's dealt with alot of my health issues in the past 5 yrs, starting with IBS. I was diagnosed with IC just about 2 yrs ago. I haven't had any problems in the past 4-5 months, but I began to have the pain and symptoms about 1 1/2 weeks ago. I started back on my Elmiron about a week ago. I was feeling pretty good on Sunday, and we had sex in the shower, which I have discovered over the past several times we have had sex in the shower, I get flareups. Usually Azo will resolve the problem, but in the last week, I've been taking the Azo every day, twice a day and also started taking my Macrobid a couple of days ago. This morning my husband made the comment that he was looking forward to some good adult time this weekend, but when I tell him I'm having a flare, he seems to pout, which makes me feel guilty. I'm not looking forward to telling him, especially with Father's day coming up. I hate feeling guilty and I hate hurting, but I don't want him to feel ignored either. I do my best to love him, but he's usually asking me how things are down there. I am planning to give the dr a call first of the week, I wish I had gone this week. I could use some suggestions.

[Rivet Kitty]

I have to say that I have been SO lucky in that I have a hubby who, even if he doesn't know how bad the pain is for me, he always stays by my side through it. A year before I was diagnosed, each night before bed I would stay up for over an hour sometimes...just sitting on the toilet crying....he would always offer to sit there and hold my hand and just be there with me. He's never ever pushy about sex (keep in mind we're in our early twenty's hehe) and he's always considerate about drinking (snice I can't drink to often) or eating things he knows will bug me. He is my moniter when I reach for the hot sauce and know I shouldn't.

I can only hope that everyone here will find someone (or has found someone) as loving as I have. It's really made a difference in the way I feel about myself, and treat myself, knowing that I'm not going through this alone.

That was sappy I know, but it made me realize how much he copes with for me.

[Emma's Mommy]

i have the best husband in the planet.....while he dosnt understand the pain because he dosnt experience it, he understands that i am in pain, and i am limited, and he is very good about making sure my needs are taken care of, we are always near a restroom and i keep myself well hydrated

[Briza]

Nope, my ex-fiance didn't. He pressured me constantly for sex, even when I was at my worst. And yes, I was creative and did just about everything I could to keep him satisfied, but even when I got well enough to handle intercourse once, maybe twice a week, that still wasn't enough. He thought I didn't love him becase I had to limit the intercourse, although I would do my best to please him in other ways. Finally my body just tensed up and shut down. I couldn't handle his insinuations, his anger, that I knew I would have to deal with if I said no to intercourse. He had a lot of other problems, too, and was always stressed and in turn stressed me to the point of freezing if he even touched me. It will be one year that he's been gone from my house this August. Good riddance. I still have some emotional issues about sex because of that 3 yr relationship, but did date a man for a few months a little while ago who was kind, secure, calm, and loved to cuddle and would ask nothing more from me than just a good cuddle if I was not up for intercourse nor in the mood to feel like I HAD to do something for him EVERY time I couldn't have intercourse.So glad I met him because I wasn't sure if I could ever be comfortable with a man again, the ex affected me so much both psychologically and in turn physicallly. He was in town working for just a few months when I met him. He really gave me exactly what I needed at the time to know that all men would not treat/pressure me the way the ex did nor react in anger.

[SharonA]

My Hubby has understood from the very beginning. The reason...He has had a UTI and knew how painful that is. When I told him that my pain is like that only 10 times worse and never goes away...HE GOT IT. Now that I pretty much have the pain under control, he is still very understanding and supportive. When I tell him that I can't do something because of a flare, he understands.

[inlove96]

I am not in as much pain as I used to be. (knock on wood) So I don't think my husband knows unless I say something. Unless I have my heating pad in hand then he says "uh oh".

[SandyRN]

Tom told me once that he knows when I'm in pain whether I tell him or not. He can tell by the look on my face and in my eyes. I know it's hard on him to see me in severe pain. I know how hard it was for me when he had major surgery last summer. I was beside myself knowing that he was miserable and watching what he went through post op. I think being honest with your loved one is always the best policy. He knows when I'm lying just to spare him from the worry of my being home alone in pain....so now I just tell him the truth when he asks, "how are you feeling today?"

[inlove96]

Ditto Inlove I feel the same way

Sad when we wish that to get people to understand huh?

[inlove96]

That sounds wonderful. I am happy for you.

[izazen]

My husband is my "brick" - he has been there for me during this whole year long ordeal. He selected my diet, shops for appropriate foods, does IC/PBS research for me, when I was sick he brought all my specially prepared meals to me in bed. He rubs my back, went with me to the doctor, buys me supplements he thinks I need, nags me when I am falling behind in my diet/meds, encouraged me when I used to get depressed.

He's an absolute angel.

[sandramac]

I've been blessed with a amazing hubby, he now can see the pain in my eye's , and aske's what he can get me for relief.
Hugs Sandra

[blueeyes46]

Ditto Inlove I feel the same way

[inlove96]

That is how mine is too. Unless I am almost in tears he does not truly truly understand. He is a good man though. I do wish we could have our S/O feel our pain and discomfort and how we live. Just for one day.