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My partner is amazing when it comes to me being ill. he is incredibly patient and understanding. weve been together a year and a half and i started getting flares a couple of months in, so its plagued us the majority of the time. its only recently that ive been getting ill after sex quite a bit. i get spasms literally 15 minutes after the act, and then i flare and its agonizing. my back hurts, etc. i use an ice pack that seems to help, but i really am struggling. I need advice on how to make things easier after sex? i do all the going to the toilet before and after, taking a bath. I also need advice on my actual relationship. my partner is so understanding, but i cant help but feel racked with guilt that we arent able to have sex as much as we would like. I find my partner very attractive and this is the first relationship ive had where i have genuinely enjoyed sex - before i have never felt fully comfortable and never enjoyed it as i do with my partner now - and its an important part of our relationship. It makes me feel close to him in some ways, and i feel as though thats my way of showing him how attractive i think he is. Im just wondering if theres any advice both on how to be bale o have more sex - i suppose! and also how to make it up to him that we arent always able to. I often feel as though im letting him down and i feel very fed up. im 22 and want to be able to enjoy my life. He is the one for me and im often plagued with this doubt im going to lose him because of it. I also feel as though he deserves someone normal. We love spending days at the cinema for example - but knowing ill be up and down to the the toilet puts me off as sitting makes it worse. does anyone else have these sort of dilemmas? how do you cope with it? thanks for any advice 
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