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Can't have sex, please help!

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  • Can't have sex, please help!

    I've had IC or about five months now, my symptoms have evened out and are not so bad now, but I still can't have sex! Even if I am doing well and feel no IC symptoms, any penetration literally more than an inch always feels awful. Worse on the way out than on the way in and it feels just very irritated and uncomfortable, even when doing anything as slowly as possible. Sex is just not an option at all, none of the IC sex tips do a dang thing. What should I do and why is this happening? It definitely correlated with my IC and sex had NEVER been painful except the first two times, and even then it got less uncomfortable by the end instead of more irritated and uncomfortable as it does now.

    Does anyone even know why this discomfort happens?

  • #2
    Re: Can't have sex, please help!

    I think the reason is that the bladder is so close to the vagina. Many ICers find that using lots of lubrication (even if you don't think you need it) helps. If your symptoms are continuing to improve, it may very well be that you'll be able to have sex when you are better --- it can take a lot of open communication and experimentation to be successful in this area.

    Sending encouraging hugs,
    Stay safe

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    • #3
      Re: Can't have sex, please help!

      Using a lot of lubrication and lidocaine gel helped me. Also taking a warm bath before hand helped loosen and calm the pelvic floor muscles. Kind of takes the fun out of being spontaneous, but it was worth it to have less pain. You're not alone on this and it happens to a lot of us and Donna is right- when your bladder gets calmer and you see more of a sustained improvement you may have an easier time. Even if you have no outward symptoms your bladder may still be slightly irritated. Don't give up hope- it can get better but it does take patience.