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  • He's in love, now what?

    Now he's decided he's in love with me. Shared the love poetry (his notes in the margins about me were sweet). Talking a lot about the future (invited me to go on a trip out of the country -- don't know if he was hinting about a honeymoon or what -- wants to know where I'd really like to vacation), asking lots of "thinking about marriage" questions. I was afraid he was going to propose, but I think he's figured out that I'm not ready for that. He keeps offering to help out with things around the house, and I mostly refuse as I don't like feeling that I owe people a favor unless I really need the help. He suggested that I take a "we're in this together" approach. Amazing -- it's T-minus 2 weeks to Interstim, and he has a great attitude. I am a bit concerned about Valentine's Day & what he'll do, but I'll probably be messed up after the Interstim surgery on the 4th so maybe it's not a big concern.
    IC & fibromyalgia since ~'77. Osteoarthritis since ~'88. Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura (autoimmune blood disease) since '96. IBS for who knows how long. Interstim implant 2/04, revised 6/06, replaced 11/12 & again in 9/17. Antibodies to thyroid since at least '92 (finally diagnosed & treated 1/06). Asthma & vocal cord dysfunction 12/06. Hypoglycemia '07. Perimenopausal at 37, menopause at 45. Pituitary & adrenal failure. Osteopenia. Grade 3 sacral fracture by S3-S4 at age 12, healed 14mm out of place.

  • #2
    Well..at least he's being open about it...sort of.
    What about you? What do you think?
    Are you afraid to get hooked for fear of your IC?
    I say, take it one day at a time and if he's for real the medical stuff (good or bad) won't scare him off.
    I would say, if he's willing to help, let him. He may not be in it to get something in return. There are some good guys still out there. Maybe he's one of them.
    Good luck!
    Tons of support,
    Jaime

    IC angel helping families in need for the holidays. [email protected]

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    • #3
      How do you feel about him? That's the big question. If you'd like him in your life, open the door. And if he's the right one for you, the medical issues won't drive him away.

      Warm hugs,
      Donna
      Stay safe


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      • #4
        I really like him, but I don't fall in love this fast! I think we're extremely compatible, so that's a big plus. I am concerned about the possibility of IC disabling me to the point of not being able to work, and I don't like the idea of being dependent upon someone else. My ex took advantage of my health problems (one reason why I divorced him), so I'm pretty wary about letting anyone else be in that position. He's had his share of medical problems (had his colon removed) so I guess I'm more likely to trust that he understands what medical problems bring up, unlike my ex.
        IC & fibromyalgia since ~'77. Osteoarthritis since ~'88. Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura (autoimmune blood disease) since '96. IBS for who knows how long. Interstim implant 2/04, revised 6/06, replaced 11/12 & again in 9/17. Antibodies to thyroid since at least '92 (finally diagnosed & treated 1/06). Asthma & vocal cord dysfunction 12/06. Hypoglycemia '07. Perimenopausal at 37, menopause at 45. Pituitary & adrenal failure. Osteopenia. Grade 3 sacral fracture by S3-S4 at age 12, healed 14mm out of place.

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        • #5
          He sounds like a good guy and the seeds are there for a successful relationship (the fact that you two are so compatible in many ways says a lot.) Having one's colon removed is no small thing -- I can't imagine any reason why he would not remain empathetic and supportive of you. He would certainly understand better than the average healthy person!

          Trust takes time -- you mention that you had a bad experience with your ex. If this man does love you as he says, he will be patient and give you the emotional room you need in order to allow for a reciprocal love to grow.

          Enjoy this time! You deserve to be treated well and cared for!
          Namaste

          "You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

          "The most important medicine is tender love and care" - Mother Teresa

          Proud mother of Ahleia, born on April 9, 2007

          -----------------------
          Diagnosed with:
          IC, OAB, Congenital urethral stricture, IBS, Vulvar vestibulitis, Heart murmur, Congenital cervical stenosis...but otherwise doing great!

          Meds:
          Currently in remission, but took the following for 3 years: Elmiron 200 mg., Elavil 25 mg., Detrol LA 4mg, Ovcon-35

          Health treatments/practices:
          Kripalu yoga, Chiropractic, Massage therapy and Reiki

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