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Family trip, so glad it's over!

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  • Family trip, so glad it's over!

    I spent the last week in PA with my family. I live in CA and it was a long and painful trip.
    Usually my family is understanding and supportive. But I guess that was mostly an illusion because I live so far away. My mom was okay. But my grandmother is really driving me crazy. We are very close, she helped raise me because my mom was so young and single mother.
    Whenever I travel, I get major flares. Planes, airports, car rides, different food and water, etc, etc.
    Anyway, my grandmother made several comments during the week, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to keep peace. I got home last night and she called me and I just lost it. I just wanted to be home alone and take a break from them. A week was just too long. There was a big family reunion (which she organized) and too much going on.
    Anyway, she realized I was feeling bad. She kept making comments about how I shouldn't travel and I should cancel future traveling plans to go to Maine for my best friend's wedding in Sept. I'm her maid of honor. I had to skip shower because of IC. So I refuse to miss wedding. She told me not to go. I can't cancel that! So it's okay for me to go home and wreck my health. She pressured me to come home and even paid for plane ticket. But it's not okay to go to my best friend's wedding! She was very insensitive. Anyway, all the pressure from the week exploded and we argued. Now she is all mad at me and called my mom and complained about me. And after everything I said to her last night, it didn't change a thing. She told my mom I shouldn't go to wedding. She's so stubborn. She didn't listen to me at all!
    I know that IC has robbed me of many things, my career, money, quality of life, etc, etc. But I refuse to let it ruin my entire life. Sometimes I'm going to push my body to do the really important things like go to my best friends wedding or go home for a week to visit family. I will deal with the flare because it's worth it.
    But now I feel like this major flare I'm in wasn't worth it. She made me so mad. I know she has my best intentions. She wants me to feel good. But she just doesn't listen!
    Thanks for letting me vent. I feel a little better already.
    take care,

  • #2
    Melanie - I'd be goin' to the wedding too and wouldn't feel the least bit bad about it....I will be 50 in Dec and boy oh boy - there won't be anything I will be doing because "I'm suppose to" it will ALL be because "I want to". My life is getting too darn short to keep doing it someone else's way.....know what I mean????? If I'm gona hurt after an occasion, I'm going to make darn good and sure that it's an occasion worth hurting for...
    Somedays I'm soooooooooooo sure that my family is finally understanding, then the next day comes, and I KNOW it was just wishful thinking. It's a full time job taking care of me, I just haven't got the energy anymore to take care of them too.
    Sending LOVE and HUGS ~ Teri
    Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".


    • #3
      Ugh- Been there, done that, burnt the T-shirt! Hang in hon, you'r right about going to the wedding. Just make sure you let yourself take whatever meds you need to make it bearable- even the o'l pain killers.


      • #4
        I loved my mother very much and miss her very much, but I would be the first to admit that she was a very controlling person. The way I finally worked out to deal with her was to: (first) listen to what she had to say, and (second) tell her that I really appreciated her advice and that I would give it serious thought.

        Somehow, her feeling that I was listening seemed to satisfy her and even when I didn't follow her advice, she seemed to accept it.

        Sometimes if we just let family know how much we appreciate their caring, and listen (even if we have no intention of following their advice) --- it helps hold families together.

        Sending a huge, gentle hug and hope that your September trip will be a huge success!


        Stay safe

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        • #5
          Just wanted to update my post. My grandmother called and apologized. We made peace. I'm still recovering from the travel and flare. And I'm really starting to look forward to my best friend's wedding.
          thanks for all the support!
          take care,