NOTHING MORE THEY CAN DO

[tigger_gal]

HI I didn't know where to post this because all the prayers in the world will not help... Today they sent Uncle Don home, he has cancer scream there is nothing else they can do for him. the chemo ate up all his blood platellets (I guess, because they are really low) so they had to give him 3 pints/units of blood, and said they cannot do any more chemo on him.
Remember what and what not to say is hard.
don't tell him how good he looks, for he is not the 225 lb man he was at christmas, hes 110 man with sunk in cheeks and to weak to sit,stand or walk...
Don't ask him if hes hungry, because he is, but his stomache cannot toleate the food...
don't ask him how he feels, for god sakes he's dieing.....
don't tell him he shouldn't smoke, let him enjoy the only thing he has left to be capable of doing on his own....
please don't let me go over there and break down crying ..... because I don't want to upset him..
this is hard for me.... I have been flaring and doubled over in pain, because I am losing another person I love, its hard to watch a loved on die and I have watched 4 people die, my best friend, my wonderful neighbor, my grandpa, and now my uncle.. you want to fix it and you can't, you want it to go away and it won't. you want to forget, but you never will.....
so please pray for my family to get thru this as no prayers will help my uncle except plesa god let him fall asleep pain free and never wake up....
thanks
Cindy

[Dixiefireball]

I can somewhat relate to what your saying i have been threw watching my mother die right before my eye's it is a hard thing to go threw. I know tonight you said you was flareing Hon its the stress. I wish I could help you with this stress but all i can do is pray for you like you asked and be here for you when you need me. Try to relax i know that is easier said then done. go see your uncle he loves you too. and do it while he can still see and talk to you and knows who you are. be brave for him he needs you and all your family right now. I pray he does die pain free. at least he will be in a better place! let me know if you need to vent hon you know i always have a shoulder you can cry on. wink grouphug

[Jen_Cole]

I'm sorry things have been so unfair for you, Brat. I'm thinking of you.

[ICNDonna]

I do understand. I lost my brother six years ago to cancer. It was such a helpless, horrible feeling. Let your uncle know you love him --- and keep him in your prayers.

And come here to cry. It does help.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know you're facing a very difficult time.

Love,
Donna

[auntiedeb]

grouphug grouphug grouphug grouphug angel angel angel angel Cindy you are in my prayers and thoughts as well as your family. God does hear our prayers. I pray that uncle don will go in his sleep too. Go visit him and hug him and tell him that you love him. You can come here and cry and vent and yell and scream. You are going through a diffcult time right now and it is not easy. we love you. You can email me at [email protected] that is new address. I am here for you. Stress will make you flare more. do something nice for you sweetie.

[Teri]

{{{{{Cindy}}}}} I've been thru it a couple of times. You are right. Let him have that cigarette, empty his ash tray if he asks and hold his hand. Just by holding his hand he will feel your love flow and it won't be neccesary to say a word and, when it's time, let him go. Make sure and tell him that it's okay for him to go, that you and everyone else will be just fine.....

sending you tons and tons of love Cindy~

[Susan2]

Hi Cindy,
Honey, you know I think the world of you, I just wish I could help you. You can write me anytime you want to, and like I have told you, I will always be here for you. Right now, you have more than your share, with everyone else too. I will say a prayer that Tom slips away in his sleep.
Is Grandma doing okay?? I wrote you a pm.
With Love and tons of hugs
Susan

[Iris]

Hi Cindy, I am so sorry that you are going through so much right now, it is hard to cope with everything when you have a loved one that you cannot help out. I am saying a prayer for you and by the way I checked out your web site, and it is really nice to see you and your family and your pets. I also loved the letter you wrote about the IC network, I agree totally with you and feel that we are very lucky to have such great people caring and supporting one another. Hope that all our prayers help you through this difficult period of time, take care and lots of hugs to you Cindy, love Iris angel angel grouphug grouphug

[Greekladyiam]

Hello Cindy,
I will pray for you and your family. Sometimes there are no right words to say so with that said I would say dont try to hard to say the right thing but only say what is in your heart. My Grandfather passed away only a couple of months ago and we had three days of waiting for him to go. It is so hard to let go even though you know its coming. My Grandpa was in the hospital bed during this time and they said he could not hear us but I decided to spend one night alone at his bedside and I believe he knew I was there. Tell your uncle you love him and dont be afraid to say what you feel. Im sure knowing how much you love him will give him warmth. As I said sometimes there isnt the right thing to say so I hope my post just lets you know that you have support and understanding. Take Care of yourself as best you can.
Many hugs,
Carrie

[Sparky2]

Dear ((((((((Brat)))))))):

You're such a nice person to everyone here and I just hate that you're having to go through such a painful experience. Having lost my dad last year to esophageal cancer, I can relate to what you're going through.

It was so hard for me to know how to best be there for my dad...in the end, I just decided it was important for me to be there...to
do whatever it was at the moment that felt right...whether it was to hold his hand, to tell him I loved him, to watch his fav tv show with him (Jeopardy), or to simply take him outside in his wheelchair for some sunshine and a look at the beautiful flowers outside his room.

Brat, I'm sure your uncle is so glad for your visits....don't worry so much about saying or doing the wrong things....I'm sure he just appreciates your presence and your being there for him at such a difficult time. My prayers are with you, your uncle and your family.


Take care,
Lynne

[dyno]

Cindy,
I can feel for you. Been there with both my dad and my sister. It is very hard, but it is important for both them and you to be there. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Jolene grouphug angel

[tigger_gal]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOU LOVING AND KIND REPLYS
LOVE
BRAT

[felineperson3]

Cindy,
I'm so sorry! You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you face this ordeal. There is no easy answer--we just have to walk the "Faith walk" and leave everything in God's hands. I pray that your uncle does not have to suffer and since he can not get any better that Jesus will just ease him out in his sleep. He will then be free from all worldly suffering and know "true peace". Sending kissing grouphug to you.

[Ginny]

Cindy,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I just went through it with my Dad. The best thing you can do is be there for him when you can. Don't worry about what you can and can not say. It does not matter. You don't need the stress of worrying over what you will say.
If you are flaring really bad you could call your doctor and ask for medication for awhile. Explain the situation and they might give you valium or something to calm down the bladder and you.
I will pray for you.
Ginny

[ICNJess]

Cindy--

I am so sorry. I will definitely send some prayers your way, girl. If you need to chat, you know how to get me.

Lots of hugs!!!!
Jess grouphug grouphug kissing