I hurt his feelings.

[KBee42]

This morning my husband called and asked how I was doing, like he does every time we speak. I said, without thinking, "I'm not good. Not good at all. Please don't be mad."

What I acutally meant was "Please don't be dissapointed."

He was so hurt. He's never ever given me reason to believe that he didn't just want to know how I was doing. I'm the one making 'requirements' of health. I'm projecting them onto him. It's not fair.

He said, "I'm not asking so that you'll feel better. I'm asking because I love you and I want to know."

I'm just so tired of giving him nothing but bad news and lately I've been getting worse and worse and worse.

I'm angry with myself that I hurt his feelings. Poor guy. The best husband ever and I go and give him failings in my head that he doesn't really have.

Poor guy.

[KBee42]

Nevermind. I just had an epipahny. I spent money on a cab to work this morning because the busses were not running in time. That's what I was feeling guilty about.

Not about not feeling well, but about how much money has gone to me trying to feel better.

I explained, he laughed and called me a "crazy girl" which is his affectionate term for me and assured me that he didn't care if I spent all of the money we have on feeling better, and to spend it if I need it for Bob's sake.

So.. good. [img]smile.gif[/img]

All better. At least that part. These new stabbing pains are something else entirely.

[Nicole in ATL]

Like the rest of us- you are living with a chronic health problem. At times it is all you can think about due to pain, frequency, urgency. As a consequence, sometimes the things that come out of our mouths are not what we meant to say at all!!

I know I get really irritable and depressed when I am in a bad flare. Overly emtional and even irrational at times. It's like the pain distorts everything around you.

Try not to sweat it, it sounds like you were able to communicate to your husband that you weren't intentially being hurtful.

Hope you get some relief soon,

Nicole

[darlene]

Chronic illness can make us all "crazy" sometimes. I tell my husband, It's the illnesses talking, when my behavior is out of character. About a month ago, I was ready to scream at him, because a fly was in the house. How careless , he must have been, to let that happen. does he have to go in and out so often, allowing that nasty vermin to come in? Luckily, I caught myself in time, before I had a chance to blame him . I realized, my severe pain was affecting my judgement. It was just a fly, after all. My nonstop pain was causing me to have a meltdown.