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  • How to talk to mother?

    I am having a hysterectomy on January 12th and I don't know how to tell her. I think she will be against it. It is what I want for my Endometriosis. I have thought it through. I expect though that she will say things like, "but you have that drug, this is drastic surgury, you don't need it, why risk you life for something you don't need?" yet the decission is mine and I have made it. I need her support. Yet that does not mean I will get it very easily. I have had 10 other surguries in my life. No complications. They have helped me more than drugs, in my mind. She is isn't living with the side affects and the pain I still have even on the drugs. I don't know how to tell her. It makes me want ot cry just thinking about it. She has hurt my feelings so many times already when it comes to my health. I don't know what to do. Please help me. Although, I bet that would take a mirracle. Thanks a bunch.
    Faith, Hope, and Love,
    Katrina


    I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

    IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
    or find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/kat671?ref=profile
    Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

    [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!

  • #2
    Well not only is this probably going to improve some of your health problems but you could tell her this will also help you financially in the long run. Meds cost lots. And if they think you need the surgery now, that probably wont change later.
    Katrina, I've never asked you before but do you have any children/or want to? Is the endo already keeping you from that? She may think she wants grandkids from you. And with this surgery it's out of the question unless you adopt.?
    If I got too personal I apologize.
    And don't answer if this view, I have, is all out of whack....
    You need to be healthy and happy in life when you can. Even if she gets you upset come back here for comfort...We'll be here for you whichever route you decide to take. kissing
    Tons of support,
    Jaime

    IC angel helping families in need for the holidays. [email protected]

    Comment


    • #3
      grouphug grouphug grouphug grouphug Katrina, have you prayed about talking to your mom? Prayer works and God gives us the wisdom and the words to use to talk to someone. I am praying for you. We are here for you.
      Hang in there , There is hope.
      There is hope. Prayer works.

      Love, Debbie

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Katrina, I know this must be very hard for you, but it is your choice, and your life, and your health. Mums can give advice, but this is your decision and she will have to accept whatever decision you make. I feel for you, especially if you have been hurt before. I have a daughter and speaking as a mum, I would be very supportive of her, in any decision she made for her life. I just pray that your mother will give you all the support you need, without hesitation, as this is your choice. Please keep us posted, and you know we will all be here to give you love and support with your decision, love and hugs to you Katrina, Iris kissing grouphug
        Today and every day you are loved, so don't be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of you tomorrow; Live one day at a time.

        Comment


        • #5
          Okay --- just a suggestion --- but you might tell her that you have looked at other options and have discussed it with your doctors and have reached the conclusion that a hysterectomy is about the only option you have to help you feel better. You can also tell her that you have made your decision and that what you want most is her understanding and support. As a mother, I think she will first be concerned and may say that she doesn't think you should do it (I avoid such statements because it's what I always heard from my mother and it hurt). Just remember that if she does, it's because she loves you.

          Warm hugs,
          Donna
          Stay safe


          Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
          Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

          Have you checked the ICN Shop?
          Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

          Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

          Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

          Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

          AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

          I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
          [3MG]

          Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

          Comment


          • #6
            well donna said it the best, thats what i was going to suggest you tell mom that this is your only option and you have decided yes, that you have had too much pain already and do not wish to endur more... good luck
            Brat...
            you have my support on your choice
            'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

            Comment


            • #7
              i do believe donna said it best she has the best idea and i pray for you it helps.
              My mother when still living always was trying to look out for my well fare I sure miss her this year will be 15 years since she passed dec 19 its hard but thank of it like this she does mean well and she does love you she just wants the best for her daughter. Good Luck I hope she supports you i believe she will but it may take her some time to come around she is just worried. that is what all good mothers do.
              Medicine taken daily or as needed:
              1. Heaprin and Marcaine rescue installment 1 to 3x daily as needed.
              2. MS.Cotin 100mg 3x daily
              3. MSIR 30mg 1 or 2 every 4-6hrs as needed for breakthrew pain.
              4. Fentanyl 100 mg Change every 48hrs.
              5. Gentamicin 80mg install after each rescue treatment
              5 Leviquin 500mg self start as needed.
              6. Klonopin 1 or 2 daily as needed.
              7. Prosed/DS as 1 every 6hrs as needed.





              I have IC, but IC doesn't have me anymore!

              Comment


              • #8
                *wipping away my tears* Thanks you so much, I can't help being afraid. I think I will write this stuff down and try to get it all out at ounce. Thank you so very much Donna. I know she loves me, she has been through a lot being my mother. My health has scarred her so much so many times, I always want to protect her, but I can't not tell her about this. My health is more than she can handle usually and I don't blame her.

                Understanding why, doesn't always mean I won't be hurt though. Being an emotional mess already, I want to protect myself from more stress.

                If you have any more great advise, please keep it comming, I need all the help I can get.
                Thanks much
                Faith, Hope, and Love,
                Katrina


                I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

                IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                or find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/kat671?ref=profile
                Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

                [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!

                Comment


                • #9
                  I care! friend
                  Sue C.~
                  [email protected]

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Katrina--

                    I think if it were me, I'd sit down and tell her this is the best thing for me and my health, and I really want her to stand behind me because I need her to be there. Very similar to Donna's suggestion lol. I just can't imagine your mother not being there for you. She'll be there.

                    Hugs and love,
                    Jess
                    Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My mom may want grand kids but not from me. She has even been against my husband and my dreams of adopting, no way does she think I am healthy enough myself. That will not be her reason for being against it. Just letting you know.
                      Faith, Hope, and Love,
                      Katrina


                      I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

                      IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                      or find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/kat671?ref=profile
                      Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

                      [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Best wishes for you Katrina,
                        Hang in there and follow your heart you are
                        doing whats best for you and only you have the
                        right to chose whats best for you & your health.
                        I wish only the best for you & will keep praying
                        for the day everything is alright for you.

                        grouphug
                        God bless.Take care. love , Zookeeper Kim
                        Animals are very comforting when
                        pain & life gets you down...

                        Keep your head held high and don't let any thing bring you down.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I told my mother today about my surgery. She didn't say anything possitve or negative. She may have been holding back, but I will take that any day over judgement.

                          Thanks for your help. I was well prepared to have the bad conversation, but ended up not needing to too much.
                          Faith, Hope, and Love,
                          Katrina


                          I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

                          IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                          or find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/kat671?ref=profile
                          Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

                          [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            grouphug grouphug grouphug grouphug
                            Hang in there , There is hope.
                            There is hope. Prayer works.

                            Love, Debbie

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm so glad you have shared with your mother.

                              Warm hugs,
                              Donna
                              Stay safe


                              Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
                              Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

                              Have you checked the ICN Shop?
                              Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

                              Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

                              Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

                              Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

                              AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

                              I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                              [3MG]

                              Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

                              Comment

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