This year has not been kind to me medically at all. All of the support I use to get from my husband is GONE so I'm feeling like I'm floating on a raft calling for "wilson"......
My sister, for those who don't know, was dx'd with stage 4 melanoma in November. We, at 51 and 52 are actually building a relationship and I LOVE IT!!!! We've gone all these years hating each other and now we are finding that we CAN sit for hours and talk to each other.
Today the topic was living with a chronic illness vs a terminal illness. And it got HOT. She's giving me all of her excuses as to why she might someday take her life (she doesn't want to live in pain) and I'm telling her bull****.....if I'm makin' it, SO CAN YOU!!!!!!! Yes, if at the end of her cancer she is not capable of doing anything for herself and there is no quality of life left, fine, that's her choice. But, after a dx only 4 months ago we look FORWARD and we try everything there is to try. Because of IC I will beable to be very helpful to her. We talked about guilt....she is brand new at it and I'd give anything if she didn't have to go thru it but we all have and she will have to now too. I'm glad that I will beable to help her with that because when I needed it, there was no one to talk to....."it's ONLY a bladder infection" is what I was told. Naturally all of the friends that her and her husband have (they have been together for 38 years, the friends have already stopped dropping by and the phone doesn't ring non-stop anymore. I feel so good that FINALLY, she needs me and it feels good. NO, it doesn't feel good that she has this killer cancer....I would much rather have gone on hating each other so she could live than for this to happen.
When I came home and was telling my husband about our conversation regarding living for the rest of your life with a chronic illness or being told that you had a terminal illness and had 5 years left to live he was on her "side". He thinks being told you have 5 years left to live is worse than being told "unless there is a miracle, you will spend the rest of your life in horrific pain"
Now, I KNOW that it's been really hard on me the last few months and I know that my buttons are easily pushed right now BUT
I need YOUR imput.........
My sister, for those who don't know, was dx'd with stage 4 melanoma in November. We, at 51 and 52 are actually building a relationship and I LOVE IT!!!! We've gone all these years hating each other and now we are finding that we CAN sit for hours and talk to each other.
Today the topic was living with a chronic illness vs a terminal illness. And it got HOT. She's giving me all of her excuses as to why she might someday take her life (she doesn't want to live in pain) and I'm telling her bull****.....if I'm makin' it, SO CAN YOU!!!!!!! Yes, if at the end of her cancer she is not capable of doing anything for herself and there is no quality of life left, fine, that's her choice. But, after a dx only 4 months ago we look FORWARD and we try everything there is to try. Because of IC I will beable to be very helpful to her. We talked about guilt....she is brand new at it and I'd give anything if she didn't have to go thru it but we all have and she will have to now too. I'm glad that I will beable to help her with that because when I needed it, there was no one to talk to....."it's ONLY a bladder infection" is what I was told. Naturally all of the friends that her and her husband have (they have been together for 38 years, the friends have already stopped dropping by and the phone doesn't ring non-stop anymore. I feel so good that FINALLY, she needs me and it feels good. NO, it doesn't feel good that she has this killer cancer....I would much rather have gone on hating each other so she could live than for this to happen.
When I came home and was telling my husband about our conversation regarding living for the rest of your life with a chronic illness or being told that you had a terminal illness and had 5 years left to live he was on her "side". He thinks being told you have 5 years left to live is worse than being told "unless there is a miracle, you will spend the rest of your life in horrific pain"
Now, I KNOW that it's been really hard on me the last few months and I know that my buttons are easily pushed right now BUT
I need YOUR imput.........
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