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  • Family pressure to "be cured"

    My sister has decided that her alternative health product (which she sells) would "cure" my IC. She feels it's her moral obligation to tell me about it. I'm so sick of listening to her line of mixed-up reasoning that I stopped talking with her for a few weeks so I could calm down. She's now taking the attitude that I can choose to die if I want (where did she get that idea?) but she "knows" how to cure me...the implication that I'm too stupid to know how to handle my healthcare. How do you handle family members like this? I've resolved to never mention anything health-related to her again...which means that I won't be doing much talking. I'm giving a friend healthcare power of att'y so she won't be responsible for any of my healthcare decisions.
    IC & fibromyalgia since ~'77. Osteoarthritis since ~'88. Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura (autoimmune blood disease) since '96. IBS for who knows how long. Interstim implant 2/04, revised 6/06, replaced 11/12 & again in 9/17. Antibodies to thyroid since at least '92 (finally diagnosed & treated 1/06). Asthma & vocal cord dysfunction 12/06. Hypoglycemia '07. Perimenopausal at 37, menopause at 45. Pituitary & adrenal failure. Osteopenia. Grade 3 sacral fracture by S3-S4 at age 12, healed 14mm out of place.

  • #2
    Hi Have you read the article in Self Magizne June issue?? I would buy it and put open and hopefully your sister will pick it up and read it. People that don't have this, don't understand. they think you are all better and at work they tell me get a new doctor. Ihave one of the best uros that knows about ic and has ic patinets. It is just going to take time for a cure to come along. I am sorry that your sister is bbeing so pushy. Hang in there. Theres hope. Keep posting and let us knowhow you are doing. Take care.
    Hang in there , There is hope.
    There is hope. Prayer works.

    Love, Debbie

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    • #3
      i am sorry about your family members..
      sometimes they just don't understand... i think you should let them read the chronic pain letter posted in the pain management board ...


      hope you are feeling better... grouphug

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      • #4
        My family has always been supportive but I eventually had to inform a very good friend that she did not know everything. I know you want to be polite to your sister but sometimes you have to be blunt. Good Luck!

        Kenzy

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        • #5
          Hi all--
          I have a grandmother who thinks she knows how I can "cure" IC. She says "go to the University of Chicago's medical center. They cured my friend's IC". First of all, I doubt she had a friend that had IC. Second of all, if they cured it, why aren't doctors around the world curing their patients? I doubt that a bunch of doctors outside of the university got together and said, "hey, there's a cure, but let's let people suffer anyway!!" Ugh...my grandmother and I are not on good terms, but this is just ridiculous. If there were a cure out there, doesn't she think I would have had it by now??? UGH!! Family...you can't pick 'em.

          Hugs all,
          Jess
          Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

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          • #6
            My mother, God rest her soul, used to tell me that if I would go to HER doctor instead of mine, he could cure me. What I always told her was that I appreciated her concern and that I would give it some thought. That always seemed to satisfy her.

            It's a tough one --- and they always seem to be trying to help.

            Warm hugs,
            Donna
            Stay safe


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            • #7
              I know that my grandmother's intentions are good. I realize that. But sometimes, I just wish that she'd just leave me alone. It seems like everyone has a cure, everyone else's doctor knows best...oh well. I just remind myself that her heart is in it...at least I think it is. At any rate, I like to think that. I guess we just have to let it go in one ear and out the other, right?
              Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

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              • #8
                Ask your sister to explain how her product will cure your IC. You want to know, in detail, just what the product does , to cause a cure. The cause of IC is still unknown, so she won't be able to give you a good answer. Don't accept "it just does". You want to know, in scientific terms, what happens to cause a cure. I wish I could be a fly on your wall for that one.

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                • #9
                  There was one person on this earth (other than my best-buddy IC friends) who I believed with my entire heart understood. Guess not. We got in a fight 3 weeks ago because I wasn't able to take her 4 year old (my grandson) for the weekend. She has seen 1st had how horribly sick I have been for 2 solid years and now she hasn't spoken a word to me in 3 weeks. When she needs something she'll show her face again and I'm going to tell her I'm busy. I can't allow this to happen over and over and over again. The fights ALWAYS involve something that has NOTHING to do with what's going on. They conviently happen when she's got some looser guy hidding somewhere toilet to the both of them~
                  teri
                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".

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                  • #10
                    grouphug grouphug grouphug
                    Hang in there , There is hope.
                    There is hope. Prayer works.

                    Love, Debbie

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Jesser, Your grandmother's friend probably had common cystitis(bladder infection), not IC. My mother can't be bothered learning the name interstitial cystitis, so she tells her friends I have cystitis, and they say they had that, and it was no big deal. In my over 30 year quest for a correct diagnosis, The University of Chicago hospital was one of the early places I tried. They were not ahead of their time in the diagnosis of IC. Today, they probably do a better job of diagnosis, but they don't have any cures that other doctors don't have. this is the information age, new travels fast.

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                      • #12
                        I have a sister in law (no.. not the crazy one) that insist that she has the cure thru the sales of a company she is selling products for its only 50 something dollars for a 30 day supply banghead . she told me that she has 3 ic patients that are no longer taking meds because of this product, so I politely asked her, if this product is so grand and these 3 icers have completely recovered and not in remission, why don't my dr know about this grand product .... well she has never mentioned it again... lmao
                        Brat
                        'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

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                        • #13
                          As far as this sort of reasoning is concerned:
                          "Ask your sister to explain how her product will cure your IC. You want to know, in detail, just what the product does , to cause a cure."
                          my sister just gives a vague reply that it gives the body the nutrients it needs to heal itself. She doesn't care at all about scientific reasoning -- I've watched my friends try to have such discussions with her, and it doesn't dissuade her. She feels she's given a satisfactory answer & can't understand why I'd want something like a double-blind study before I'd put much faith in it.
                          IC & fibromyalgia since ~'77. Osteoarthritis since ~'88. Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura (autoimmune blood disease) since '96. IBS for who knows how long. Interstim implant 2/04, revised 6/06, replaced 11/12 & again in 9/17. Antibodies to thyroid since at least '92 (finally diagnosed & treated 1/06). Asthma & vocal cord dysfunction 12/06. Hypoglycemia '07. Perimenopausal at 37, menopause at 45. Pituitary & adrenal failure. Osteopenia. Grade 3 sacral fracture by S3-S4 at age 12, healed 14mm out of place.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Well I know someone who HAD IC and cured themselves through tons of alterntive herbal/vitamin/other stuff and what-not. It's really hard when she pushed it on me and I know, I mean really know its jsut not the right path for ME to travel down...

                            With her I try to be firm & polite and discuss other things to get the topic moving away, and being persuaded to try "her herbal guy" and had at one point said "this is the right choice for me, should I change my mind I certinly will call you". I know she means well but geeeeezzzzzzzzz....

                            My advice: just shift the converstation to something else...being confrontational (even in the littlest bit) will leave you bangin' you r head against the wall....cos you two will never agree.... banghead

                            Good luck,
                            y. hi
                            Somewhere there's a reason /Why things go like they do /Somewhere there's a reason /Why some things just fall through /We don't always see them /For what they really are /But I know there's a reason /Just can't see it from this far /Maybe I don't like it, /But I have no choice /I know that somewhere, /Someone hears my voice / I thought I knew it all /I thought I had it made /How could it end this way? /I thought I knew Somewhere there's a reason /Why things don't go my way /Somewhere there's a reason /That I cannot explain /Just like the change of season, /Just may not be my turn /But I know there's a reason, /The lesson's mine to learn

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                            • #15
                              My grandmother didn't mean regular cystitis or the common UTI...she meant IC. I think she's slipping, but I nicely tell her that I like my urologist and that he's doing a fine job. Besides the university chicago is 6 hours away from here, it just wouldn't be worth my time if they are doing the same thing that my Uro is doing. If they had a cure, I'd be there so fast I'd make Jeff Gordon jealous. lmao
                              Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

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