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  • he's thinking of going to work so I can quit, afraid he'll resent me later in life>

    Kevin is in pharmacy school, with quite a while left. I support us both. He sees me suffer daily going to work trying to tough it out on the heating pad, crying many times to him on the phone. He has mentioned many times, quite often lately, about quitting school so I can stay home while he works. This would be so nice, however the thought of this breaks my heart b/c he is such a good student and I know he wants to be a pharmacist so badly. He says that there will always be school, but there is only one me. (awww). I just afraid he'll resent me in the future. What do you all think of this? BTW, we are both 25 yrs. old.

  • #2
    Hello. I dont work husband supports us both as well. He works 2 jobs. He is in the military. We are both young as well..Im 19 and he is 21. I ask him would he want me to get a job..he said it would help out but he understands about my condition. I always wonder if he thinks anything of me not working like your thinking as well. Your husband sounds very supportive and he is right..there is always school but one of you..and its his duty to help take care of you. Im sure he will not resent you for you wanting not to work and take care of yourself. Talk to him about it and let him know how you are feeling. Communication is very important with this condition. Take care and good luck. Keep us posted ! ((HUGS))
    ~Alison~ <img src="graemlins/bunny.gif" border="0" alt="[bunny]" />


    • #3
      I think Kevin sounds like an AMAZING guy and if he is willing to put his life on hold, so you can stay home and rest, then do not feel guilty. You are suffering at work, and he sees that, and in return, it is hurting him to see you so miserable. He is right, school will always be there. If he insists on working, then you stay home and do what you can to try and get your IC under control, then he can go back to pharmacy school. I understand you may feel horrible, but he never would have mentioned it if he didn't feel like it was the right thing to do. Hope everything works out.



      • #4
        Just a daughter is a full time nursing student and single parent. She has a 4 and 5 year old. She waitresses 2 nights a week and brings home between $150 to $225 in tips a week. Any way your boyfriend can fit that into his schedule?
        Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".


        • #5
          There are many things that can be considered here. Sometimes once you stop school, it's very difficult to go back. But --- could he cut his class schedule so he could work part time? And perhaps you might be able to handle part time too a little later on if not now.

          It would take longer for him to finish school, but as long as he can go part time, he's at least working towards the goal.

          Warm hugs,
          Stay safe

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          I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

          Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool


          • #6
            I agree with Donna. Kevin being is school is so both of you can have a better future. That does not mean that you don't need a change. Perhaps he can go to school part-time...perhaps you can see about working part-time or looking into temporary disability. Maybe Kevin can look into taking loans for school. Maybe he can try bussing and or waiting tables to help too. He does not have to quit school to get money.Try to see this as not an either or problem- think creative solutions.


            • #7
              Are you and Kevin married? Also, are you the one who carries the medical insurance? In what state do you live? There are so many variables to consider, but some choices will make a big difference as to whether or not it would be good for you to quit.

              If quitting your job involves a loss in health benefits, then I would have to say, absolutely do not quit working unless you can determine how you will be covered medically. This disease SUCKS, particularly in light of IC's chronic symptoms, you would never be able to get affordable independent coverage. And the cost of prescriptions [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] ...those two issues alone could put both of your lives on hold, because both of you would have to work to dig yourselves out of medical bill debt.

              Let me know about the questions above, then I will cast my vote [img]smile.gif[/img] &gt;Tina
              What you are is God's gift to you...What you make of yourself is your gift to God.


              • #8
                This is a true story..There was a guy that wanted to be in either med school or vet school with little money to do so. He never sat down for the lectures but stood up in the back of the class taking notes even with empty seats..After awhile the professors became ticked that he would alwas stand up and wanted to know why before he was penalized for his behavior....He replied You see I work nights so I can continue with my education and pay for it so im afraid if I were to even sit down I would go to sleep so I have to stand....Guess who stood tall at graduation with all his classmates and professors cheering him on?

                I had a magnant.. sp...which was actually religous but it said..I didnt say it would be easy..I only said it would be worth it.

                You could help in other ways...Maybe not with $$$$ but with helping him study and building study questions from material..Or typing up paper I presume there are some..etc..Maybe research loans..both private and gov. litle things that make a big difference. I was a single parent going through my dental education and working on the weekends..My daughter very little became an expert in dental termanology after asking me so many questions with answers I had made up before a test to study..she was about 11 then. enough said...there are little known grants out there that have nothing to do with your finances but they take research and sometimes writing a paper on why "I desere to be picked for this grant. you could spend alot of your time doing that...The small ones add up to big money. Dont feel guilty ....just redirect your energy..Hugs peggy


                • #9
                  Hey DanielleD.. I'm in your exact situation almost. We're both 24. He's going to school to become a teacher. I've been supporting us all 4 years (yes, he's almost done, THANK GOD!). He's taken odd jobs when he can, but for the most part, the school "discourages" outside work. It's been really tough lately because he's student teaching. So not only is he gone all day, but he's not bringing home any $$$. Besides that, if he's gone all day, guess who takes care of our 7 yr old daughter and the household chores? That's right: me! We're about 20K in debt, I have enormous dr bills and our we've had to live with my mother and her boyfriend for the past 7 months in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house!
                  Sure, we've talked about him quitting school, but good lord, what a waste! The odds of adults who quit school and go back later are not so good. Plus, I mean, we think about all the time and $$$ we've invested and it makes us shudder to think of him losing it all. and I do say "we" because it is us going to school, not just him.. I help him with his homework, I type up papers for him at midnight so that he can get 6 hours of sleep (I'm up anyway with my wonderful bladder) so that we can get up and do it all over again. I do this and work full time, and here lately about 50-60 hours a week, take care of the house, and tote my daughter around to all her extra cirricular activities. Do I think it's worth it: absolutely! Yeah, I'm taking care of him now, but in 20 years, who's going to be the primary worker in the house? Him. We want to be taken care of when I really can't work. If I think it's tough now, how's it going to be 20 years from now. Probably alot worse!

                  What's my point? Please, please, please give it serious thought before he quits school. The sacrifice is bad now, but think of the future. Plus, once he gets a "professional" job, think of the insurance benefits then.. wink That's one of the things I'm looking forward to. Also, I'm looking forward to getting out of this house, but that's an entirely different story!

                  Hang in there, there is hope! I know your struggle.. If you need to chat, e-mail me: [email protected]

                  Sounds like we have a lot in common!!!
                  ~ Life's a Garden, Dig it. ~ Joe Dirte'


                  • #10
                    That's a lot of love, what a nice story, hang in there. I hope he appreciates your hard work. Hope you take care of yourself too. Hugs, Sanctuary
                    Never take a "No" from someone not qualified to give you a yes..


                    • #11
                      He does lmao I get lots of back rubs!!!

                      We're planning a wedding right now, too.. We're getting married in June. All this will come to a beautiful end.. We're vacationing in Mexico for our honeymoon! YAY!

                      Don't drink the water, though, huh?
                      ~ Life's a Garden, Dig it. ~ Joe Dirte'