family frustrations

[lizzy5]

MY HUSBAND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS AND I GOT IC ABOUT 3.5 YEARS AGO. HE SAYS I'VE CHANGED AND I AM ALWAYS NEGATIVE AND MEAN. HE SAYS HE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH ME ANYMORE AND SO I NOW WANT A DIVORCE. I DON'T WANT A HUSBAND WHO DOESN'T LOVE ME. HOW MANY POEPLE HAVE DIVORCED OVER THIS DISEASE?
THANKS,
LIZZY [img]frown.gif[/img]

[DonnaReagan]

Lizzy --

So sorry to hear you're not getting the support you need from you husband. Fortunately, my husband has been supportive with me. Years ago he and I went through some counseling together - which I credit for some of his ability to cope with my chronic illnesses.

It seems some people just don't understand what chronic pain feels like -- how it can effect your entire day - your entire outlook. What would happen if you asked him to go to counseling with you?

I found that even private counseling for me helped me to deal with the mental & emotional fatigue of dealing with chronic pain. Chronic pain can be depressing -- but with help from supportive people you can make it through the "darkness".

I realize you said that he said he didn't love you any more. Do you honestly think that is true? Could he have meant that he no longer "loved" your current life together - i.e. - he doesn't love the fact that you're in pain & are not able to do the things you could previously? I know this may sound stereotypical - but in my opinion - men aren't necessarily the best communicators when it comes to expressing emotions effectively.

If, on the other hand, he meant it -- that he truly doesn't love you anymore -- then maybe this door that will close (divorce) will be the beginning of another door opening (finding someone who can love & support you "as is")

Give counseling a try if you haven't. I'll keep you in my prayers.

But remember -- you do deserve a support system -- even if your husband is not a part of that support system. Find someone.

Hang in there honey -- there is light at the end of this tunnel.

Donna