Are there "TRIGGER" words in your house?

[Teri]

Are there words that come out of the mouth of your partner that makes you want to shake them till they turn purple???????

One of my worse trigger words is "get a job"...I swear, when he says that I could kill <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> He watches me lay on the bathroom floor every morning for 2 hours waiting for my pain medication to kick in. He watches me struggle to get the things done that I DO get done. He NEVER says "Oh, the yard looks nice, did you work on it today"......or "geez, the kitchen floor looks great"....or "thanks for picking that up for me".....for someone who is in chronic pain almost every minute of my life I DO get a hell of alot done around here and what I get done is never acknowledged.....it's always "why can't you get a job to help out". Dang IT [img]mad.gif[/img] I AM helping out!!!!!!!!!!! He's just too dumb to see it!!!!! He's also too dumb to see that my SS check is probably more than I would beable to bring home in a month due to calling in sick!!!!! This man has lived with this since 1995, you'd think he would have caught on my now. I told him last night if those words ever come out of his mouth again his life may be in danger [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]mad.gif[/img]

So, what words trigger YOU <img src="graemlins/baby.gif" border="0" alt="[baby]" />

[yvette]

Well When I was "married". The words that triggered me were...
12.) You've got to keep reminding me if you want me to get it done for you.
11.) Stop naggin me to get it done for you.
10.) I'll give you the money next week.
9.) I'll do them/it tomorrow.
8.) I'll take it out later
7.) I promise to pay you back.
6.) Why don't ever buy anything good to eat.
5.) Why? What day is trash day?
4.) Do you have any money I can have for gas/lunch/new clothes/tolls?
3.) I forgot.
2.) I don't know what happened to it.
and Number One....
I'm sorry (with no sincerity behind it)

It a wonder homocide wasn't committed with some of these coupled with the sitations I had...I was the sick one and practically the sole bread winner/provider. He was the healthy one, and lived like an overgrown teenager.
[img]mad.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> [img]mad.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> [img]mad.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" />

It (he?) Made me a screaming, crazy woman more than once with those words!!!

y. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Teri]

WOW <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> #3 and #1 are REAL KILLERS [img]mad.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/blah.gif" border="0" alt="[blah]" /> <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" />

[darlene]

I have a new twist on triggers. It's not what my husband or family said to me, but what my doctor(gastro) said to him about me. I have crohn's disease, which is a chronic, incurrable, inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal system. I have to tell him about all of my meds, so he got to hear my story of how my IC pain is making my life miserable. when I told him that I was going to a pain clinic, he said that was a bad idea, because I would get addicted to the pain meds. My husband sees my gastro for his gastric reflux. He told my husband that I should just accept my conditions, and move on with my life. Easy for him to say! He doesn't wake up every morning with a bladder on fire, abdominal cramps, nausea, and endless diarrhea. Don't you ever wonder what your doctors say about you after you leave the office? For me, this was a chance to find out.

[yvette]

OMG Darlene, I hear you there. My last uro told me to my face (my teary-eyed face at that)

"IC is not a disease...it's an affliction. So get over it and get on with your life".

Um, OK. So did I mention he's not my uro anymore?!? [img]eek.gif[/img]

[darlene]

Yvette, did he ever say what the difference is between a disease and an affliction? If IC wasn't a disease, Kara would be having a much easier day than she will have to endure. Her bladder didn't shrink down to 30ccs from a mere affliction. If doctors don't get it, it is going to be difficult getting family and friends to believe us.

[yvette]

Oh I didn't let him get that far, but his statement was followed by how IC isn't fatal..."ya know what I mean, its not like you'll die from it!"

Well whatever, nevermind that his associate use to crack jokes about my weight when I went in with the nurse. ANd I wasn't fat by any means (I was size 7/8) and at 5'6". And his other associate was indicted for falsifying research data......

At that point I didn't give a XXXX for explanations. Or for his final medical; advice at the end of my visit (my last with him), he commented I really needed to go see a psychiatrist...ugh.

All that matter now is that I have THREE urolgists that know I have a disease and are helping me with whatever I need.

y. <img src="graemlins/bunny.gif" border="0" alt="[bunny]" />

[SelenaandAj'smommy]

[img]eek.gif[/img] HOLY CROW!!! Ill tell you what between "get a job" and " You never clean" or I'll do it later" theres, "Its your turn to look in on the kids" and "Are you gonna cook", How come we almost never have sex?" and "God sometimes I cant stand you" <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> Yep, Soometimes its true. Trigger words really cause things to get out of hand around my house too. [img]frown.gif[/img]

[Shelleynz]

The worst trigger words I've ever heard were from my doctor too. He called my pain "fictional." Sick as I was, I snapped that my pain wasn't fictional and he was just saying that b/c we didn't know what was causing it. He apologised and treated me with more respect after that.

<img src="graemlins/lmao.gif" border="0" alt="[lmao]" /> I love these new Graemlins.

As for the "it's not fatal" comment, I used to say that I wished it was so it would put me out of my misery. I never forget the day a doctor told me there was no research going on. I almost, deliberately, drove over a cliff on the way home after that.

I hope I haven't scared any new comers with this post. All this happened 7 or 8 yrs. ago before I found the ICN and got some good treatment.
Shelley

[Q]

Anytime anyone insinuates that this disease is my fault, that really ruffles my feathers. Doesn't mattter if it's my boyfriend, my best friend, or a doctor. I didn't ask for this, and I'm doing the best I can with it, but it does not help to have someone counting the number of salt pellets I consume and then condescendingly suggesting I am to blame for this pain. As far as I am concerned, they can all kiss my cute little salt loving tush. I don't like this any better than anybody else, but it took me a year and a half to convince myself this wasn't some horrible punishment god had inflicted on me for that beer I drank in high school, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone talk me into a uselessly guilty conscience

oh, and the word benign really gets me going (as if a painful disease is acceptable just because it won't kill you). [img]mad.gif[/img]

[Lady J]

Before my IC and PFD were diagnosed- I had an idiot piece of you know what gyno who said that my clitoral pain came from touching myself and that if I did not take the constant antibiotics that he was perscribing when there was never an infection that I was irrsponsible.

As for my mostly very sweet hubby, he gets to me when he tries to get me advice from his therapist who does not know me. He means well but man, he says some dumb stuff. He also gets to me anytime he complains about our wonderful little dog who is my baby. He hardly ever does this anymore because he and and the baby have really bonded but when he does it, it breaks my heart, I just don't love like that.

[Teri]

Geez Lady, my hubby has been bring me home phone #'s from well meaning people who have been helped by so and so and I have told him when he can bring home a # where we BOTH can get help, then I will be interested but until then, let me deal with my disease in the way I CHOOSE TO, not the way someone else has or suggests I should do. I am DONE dr hopping....I can not be let down by another dr.

Christine~ when my husband says "I can't stand YOU " ALL hell breaks loose in this house. I used to let it blow over because I know that he reaches a point where he just can't deal with it anymore just like I do but those words are NO LONGER ALLOWED in my house because they cut like a chain saw and they can never ever ever be taken back or forgotten. I am learning to pick my fights now but those words are an instant trigger and I go off like a loaded cannon. One of these days he will say them and the next time he comes home I will be gone.....I have a history of dissappearing.....he'd never find me till the credit card came. Sometimes I think that's the wake up call he really needs [img]confused.gif[/img] I'm just tired of trying the same things and never getting different results <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[banghead]" /> <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[banghead]" />

HUGS <img src="graemlins/grouphug.gif" border="0" alt="[grouphug]" /> to all~

[wornout]

the words one person said to me ...but now regrets saying it to me...they may still think it but would never day say it..."I would be better by now!"

[Kelli]

I just have to respond to the "it's not fatal" remark. If someone ever told ME that, I would respond by saying "You're right, it's not fatal to me, but it may be fatal for YOU!!!

See what they have to say to that! <img src="graemlins/lmao.gif" border="0" alt="[lmao]" />

[darlene]

wornout,
Did he/she say why they "would be better by now"?