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Are there "TRIGGER" words in your house?

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  • #46
    By the way...what's up with the time thing. I noticed it is way off of what I have here. [img]confused.gif[/img]

    Right now it's 1:49 PM Here.


    • #47
      I am so glad to see that there are other people out there who understand.When my husband is home tells me I am a lier, a drug addict, he says that there are other woman out there who have this and this doesn't bother them all the time,they have periods of time when they feel good.(I have not responded to any treatment) They work, and that I am crazy. When I am really in a lot of pain, or I can't urinate because of retention, or I am up all night going to the bathroom he say's "What kind of drugs are you on now." And then I try to explain and he say's he doesn't want to hear it, and I end up in hysteria. No wonder I never feel good.I have IC,PFD, vulvadynia and widespread endometriosis and still sometimes I wonder if I am crazy. Thanks for letting me vent.


      • #48
        Thank you, Jeremy for taking the time to post. I did not remember that you had already done just that...Brain cramp [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

        There is a reporter here in Memphis who does a "what's up with that" once a week report on one of our local TV stations. I, too wondered about the time thing. My first reaction to it was "what's up with that".

        My heart is aching for all of you who posted about your "less than supportive" husbands. I hope that Jeremy's contribution will help.


        Shopping??? Did someone mention shopping? I'll get my hat... ;-)

        Where I can be found most days.

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        IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.


        • #49
          Christine~You really need to find yourself some one to talk to. Maybe a battered womens shelter. I went to one for a while and it only cost me $2 for 45 miutes. Doesn't sound like you husband has mean moments, sounds like he's just mean. My God, what would he be saying if you had cancer?

          We deal with so much of our own anger and guilt, we don't need to be dealing with theirs too and at a womens shelter you should beable to talke to someone on the ourside who can help you to get your self-esteen uo out of the dirt.

          Please know that I have added you to my prayer list and will be sending healing thoughts~
          Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".


          • #50
            Jeremy~you saved my husbands life today (not sure if that was a good thing or not yet) but instead of taking his head off I was calm and able to say "we should really learn to respect each other a little more before we open our mouths [img]smile.gif[/img]

            Thanks <img src="graemlins/kissing.gif" border="0" alt="[kissing]" />
            Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".


            • #51
              Hi Jeremy, it's nice to see that you have a caring hubby is pretty good 90% of the time but whenever we get into the odd big arguement, well, it's like I'm talking to Satan himself!
              I thought women were nasty--boy was I ever wrong! The thing is, whenever we do make up, he says that he never means anything that he says about my IC, just that he knows it would upset me..I try to keep that in mind but when the next fight comes up and he says that stuff, you really think that he feels that way! Then again, maybe it is just my own guilt about having this disease! Who knows!
              I hope that you are getting some relief from your symptoms..sounds like you've had it bad for so long! It is good that you are taking charge and that you have the support of your wife! I don't get much pain myself-only once in awhile--but I mainly have urgency and frequency..
              Again, thanks for letting us know that there are good guys out there! And remember that we are all here for you whenever you need to talk! Lainie <img src="graemlins/grouphug.gif" border="0" alt="[grouphug]" />


              • #52
                Teri and Jeremy Thanks for taking the time to answer me. Its nice to have someone who will listen


                • #53
                  When my wife and I are arguing and she says something to me that hurts, I've leared to become very quiet and walk away from the argument. When our nerves have calmed, I let her know how I felt about what she's said. I used to lash back immediately and say things to hurt her that I didn't really mean.

                  It's funny how much I want to hurt someone back when they hurt me. I don't understand that feeling, but I can't deny that it's there because it is, and it's very hard to hold it back.

                  I have friends who call me a whimp because I do this, but they don't have the relationship with their spouses that I do, so it really doesn't bother me.



                  • #54
                    Well, here's a thought, and this is what I plan on doing. I am going to get a picture of my bladder from my uro so that whenever anyone has the balls to say anything like what you all have mentioned above, I will whip it out, along with a pic of a normal, healthy, uninfested with ec or ic bladder and then ask, "Well, which one would YOU like to have???"

                    Trigger words..let's see..Well, I already mentioned the "you just forgot how to pee" phrase, and hubby has been pretty understanding. The only thing I don't like is when he teases me about ot wanting sex-which is better than being downright nasty about it!

                    "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on" -Franklin D. Roosevelt


                    • #55
                      Well here we go again,my husband just came home from work and I asked for some money for a topamax prescrition. Which he replied that he had none. Then the whole "I don't belive your in pain all the time" and "you are just doing this to get pain killers",argument started again.

                      Then I start pleading with him to belive me,explaining all the things that I have said to him over and over again. I do have extensive endometriosis confirmed by pelvic lap, On top of IC confirmed by cysto, Vulvadynia and PFD but I don't know why I feel like I have to justify my disease's to him. He say's things like "I don't know why you just don't get a hysterectomy, if your in so much pain" or "I read about this and no one else with this disease has pain 24 hours a day"Bla Bla Bla

                      He just hurts me so much all the time,Why would anyone go to 3 Urologist's one that is 3hrs away and endure these awful tests, 4 Obgyn's a gastroenterologist, and two diffrent sessions of bio-feedback, plus a psychiatrist on a regular basis just to get pain medication, the only doctor that prescribes that is my MD anyway.

                      I don't know why I feel like I have to justify my behavior all the time, I guess I just am trying to say somthing to him that will make him say "Oh honey I know this is terrible for you is there and could you use a Hug"HA!!! That is ridiculious. It is never going to happen.

                      I know my marriage is over, and It has been for a long, long time. It is because of these disease's and the way that I have changed. I just wish that all of this wasn't so hard for me to accept.

                      Sorry I am rambling on.
                      Thanks all of you for being out there.
                      I feel a little bit better just getting this off my chest.


                      • #56
                        Christine, I cannot believe what you have to put up! You have all of my sympathies and understanding!! Be strong! Lainie <img src="graemlins/angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" />


                        • #57


                          • #58
                            Christine, it is not your fault you are ill. And your husband's attitude is not your fault. When you were married it was for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. You are experiencing the sickness --- you are still the same person. I agree with others that a marriage counselor could be a great help to you. And if your husband won't go, go alone.

                            You shouldn't have to beg for medications any more than he should have to beg for dinner!

                            Sending an encouraging hug,
                            Stay safe

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                            I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                            Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool


                            • #59
                              Christine~I pray that God gives you the strength you need to get you thru what you have infront of you.....When my husband acts like yours is acting I often wonder WHAT happened in his life to put so much hate in his heart. I use to feel sad for him but not any more. He is a 53 year old man who makes a good living and if he wanted to change, he could, even if it took some outside help, he could afford to get the help. If he wants to stay as hateful as he is, that's his business AND his right.

                              With every hateful word that comes out of his mouth he pushs me farther and farther away and now I'm to the point where I don't care if it ever gets fixed. I've learned to fill myself up with things other than this marriage and I KNOW that strength has come from above.

                              sending tons of prayers and very gentle hugs~
                              Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".


                              • #60
                                To all who answered me a million thanks, it is just soooo helpful to have people out there with understanding of this crummy illness and compassion. I send all my love.

                                God Bless.

                                <img src="graemlins/hi.gif" border="0" alt="[hi]" />