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Are there "TRIGGER" words in your house?

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  • Missie
    replied
    Oh and doctors too! My uro is normally sensitive but I call him and i am in pain, he tells me "go to the emergency room, I cant help you."
    ISnt that what he is for? uggghhhh

    Leave a comment:


  • Missie
    replied
    GOOD POST!!
    Goodness, our partners be so insensitive at times... heres my list.
    10-"its your job to take care of the baby, I work"
    9-"You havent done anything today"
    8-"I dont know what to tell you"
    7-"Arent you over this yet"
    6-"so, I hurt too"
    5-"We never have sex"
    4-"but I want to....." fill in the blank with what he wants
    3-"what do u want me to do about it"
    2-"cant you be normal"
    1- And the worst thing he can say to me and says occasionally is "whaaaa" meaning i'm a cry baby.

    He has gotten much better since he went to that doctors appointment and i had the doctor explain everything to me. He said most of this stuff before i was even diagnosed!

    Leave a comment:


  • Kelli
    replied
    thats gotta be the most famous IC line in history, It's all in your head. To that I say, if it's all in my head,then I should be able to get rid of it right???? I could only WISH it was all in my head so I could forget about it and it would go away.

    To Jeremy,
    Bless you honey for being such a GREAT guy. Your wife is very lucky to have someone as compassionate as you are. I too have a great husband who is very understanding and compassionate. He says the wrong things sometimes but I think he's just so frustrated that I have to deal with this miserable illness. Also, he's Mr.Fix-it, and this is something he can't fix and I know that bothers him to. There is nothing he can't do, except for help me. That has to be hard for him.

    To Christine,
    You do not have to put up with that from anyone, not even your husband. Maybe you could check into some counseling. Maybe take him to an appointment with you so he can hear what the Dr has to say. Tell him his negativity is destroying your marriage and you dont know what else to do about it anymore. If he truly loves you, he will be willing to go into some family counseling to get through this. I wish you the best of luck. You can always come here to vent if you need to, There are aprx 4,000 ears that are willing to listen.

    Leave a comment:


  • calmkiwi21
    replied
    The one saying that makes me the most angry is when everyone tells me "oh It's all in your head" So many times I have felt like screaming when told that by family members, teachers and others grrr.

    Leave a comment:


  • Teri
    replied
    Oceana~I just LOVE that one! "Pray more"......always makes me feel like I must be praying wrong or something [img]mad.gif[/img]

    Leave a comment:


  • Oceana
    replied
    I like this topic becoz I have a story to share. I was in the ER one day ,I was in the ER that week for almost 8x & I overheard my former PCP telling my boyfriend then that my disease is psychosomatic. That was the day I lost contact with that Dr.I screamed at both of them to get the **** out of the room.
    Other words that triggers me are also those that has a venom of a guilt trips esp. the tone that God will not give you something you cannot handle.Or pray more.
    I think there are words that can almost drove me to homicide sometimes.

    Leave a comment:


  • Christa
    replied
    Kelli-
    I wish I had had that response ready last week. No more than 4 people at the hospital gave me that "it isn't fatal" line. I explained that at least with death there's always a chance to live, to win. But with pain, you never win. Pain always wins. Anyhow, all the stupid remarks I've heard have come from drs and co-workers. Thank God my husband is the absolute best. I love him a lot. And he knows it.
    Christa

    Leave a comment:


  • Carla Lyn
    replied
    What sends me off the deep end is when my husband says...."what do you mean you don't have time, that's all you've got is time!" One of these days we'll see if looks really can kill!!!
    [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]mad.gif[/img] Lyn

    Leave a comment:


  • Christine36
    replied
    To all who answered me a million thanks, it is just soooo helpful to have people out there with understanding of this crummy illness and compassion. I send all my love.

    God Bless.

    <img src="graemlins/hi.gif" border="0" alt="[hi]" />

    Leave a comment:


  • Teri
    replied
    Christine~I pray that God gives you the strength you need to get you thru what you have infront of you.....When my husband acts like yours is acting I often wonder WHAT happened in his life to put so much hate in his heart. I use to feel sad for him but not any more. He is a 53 year old man who makes a good living and if he wanted to change, he could, even if it took some outside help, he could afford to get the help. If he wants to stay as hateful as he is, that's his business AND his right.

    With every hateful word that comes out of his mouth he pushs me farther and farther away and now I'm to the point where I don't care if it ever gets fixed. I've learned to fill myself up with things other than this marriage and I KNOW that strength has come from above.

    sending tons of prayers and very gentle hugs~

    Leave a comment:


  • ICNDonna
    replied
    Christine, it is not your fault you are ill. And your husband's attitude is not your fault. When you were married it was for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. You are experiencing the sickness --- you are still the same person. I agree with others that a marriage counselor could be a great help to you. And if your husband won't go, go alone.

    You shouldn't have to beg for medications any more than he should have to beg for dinner!

    Sending an encouraging hug,
    Donna

    Leave a comment:


  • lainie
    replied
    SO SORRY BUT I MEANT TO SAY "PUT UP WITH" DUH!! WAS JUST SO BLOWN AWAY WITH YOUR POST! GOOD LUCK, LAINIE

    Leave a comment:


  • lainie
    replied
    Christine, I cannot believe what you have to put up! You have all of my sympathies and understanding!! Be strong! Lainie <img src="graemlins/angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" />

    Leave a comment:


  • Christine36
    replied
    Well here we go again,my husband just came home from work and I asked for some money for a topamax prescrition. Which he replied that he had none. Then the whole "I don't belive your in pain all the time" and "you are just doing this to get pain killers",argument started again.

    Then I start pleading with him to belive me,explaining all the things that I have said to him over and over again. I do have extensive endometriosis confirmed by pelvic lap, On top of IC confirmed by cysto, Vulvadynia and PFD but I don't know why I feel like I have to justify my disease's to him. He say's things like "I don't know why you just don't get a hysterectomy, if your in so much pain" or "I read about this and no one else with this disease has pain 24 hours a day"Bla Bla Bla

    He just hurts me so much all the time,Why would anyone go to 3 Urologist's one that is 3hrs away and endure these awful tests, 4 Obgyn's a gastroenterologist, and two diffrent sessions of bio-feedback, plus a psychiatrist on a regular basis just to get pain medication, the only doctor that prescribes that is my MD anyway.

    I don't know why I feel like I have to justify my behavior all the time, I guess I just am trying to say somthing to him that will make him say "Oh honey I know this is terrible for you is there and could you use a Hug"HA!!! That is ridiculious. It is never going to happen.

    I know my marriage is over, and It has been for a long, long time. It is because of these disease's and the way that I have changed. I just wish that all of this wasn't so hard for me to accept.

    Sorry I am rambling on.
    Thanks all of you for being out there.
    I feel a little bit better just getting this off my chest.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jen_Cole
    replied
    Well, here's a thought, and this is what I plan on doing. I am going to get a picture of my bladder from my uro so that whenever anyone has the balls to say anything like what you all have mentioned above, I will whip it out, along with a pic of a normal, healthy, uninfested with ec or ic bladder and then ask, "Well, which one would YOU like to have???"

    Trigger words..let's see..Well, I already mentioned the "you just forgot how to pee" phrase, and hubby has been pretty understanding. The only thing I don't like is when he teases me about ot wanting sex-which is better than being downright nasty about it!

    Leave a comment:

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