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Re: Family just doesn't listen

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  • Re: Family just doesn't listen

    I have a very weird family I guess. Nobody seems to care about anybody but themselves. I could talk to my family until they were blue in the face and they still wouldn't have any idea what I have just told them. I have had IC for 7 years and my family has not been there for me. My husband son and his family is there but my family forget it. I have been in the hospital 3 times for having Silver Nirtate put in my bladder and my parents not once have been to see me. Well my mother did come up once for exactly 5 minutes just because my sister kept harping on her to go and see me. But my mother and father-in-law were there almost everyday all three times. It really hurts me to hear that if one of my parents friends are sick and in the hospital they are right there but for there own daughter forget it. It does hurt but that is just how my family is and always will be. My mother keeps telling me just get your bladder takin out. As you can tell I'm very depressed, of coarse I have no family to support me except for my husbands side.
    Tanya

  • #2
    I'm sorry to hear you are so sad. I can understand it in reverse. My family is great but my husbands parents are awful. They did not even attend our wedding. I never get asked how I am and cant trust them anyway so I try no to even talk to them anymore. I think they want to know how I am only to tell my husband he made a mistake marrying me. My hubby is great! A real sensitive and yet strong and masculine awesome combo. I cant beleive he is the product of the family he is from. It sounds like you are caring and despite how your family is. I think that is something to be proud of. I am sure you have a strength in you. I am so glad my hubby gets all kinds of love and affection from my family so that at least he can get the caring for the second half of his life. I would suggest that you focus on the caring you get from your husbands side. You deserve better than your family is giving. I feel sorry for people who are so selfish. They tend to end up alone in life. It sounds like you are a caring person, surround yourself with those who really care and will help you cope. I hope you feel better soon! Ange

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    • #3
      My in-law family is the greatest! They would be there for me in a second My family sucks but I've accepted that - life is just too darn short to waste my time thinking about what I don't have I am just grateful that I have people who can and really do love me unconditionally
      Many Many Hugs ~ Teri
      teri
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".

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      • #4
        Tanya,
        Ever hear the saying "you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family"? Unfortunately it's a true saying. Glad you have supportive inlaws, a lot of people can't say the same. Forgive and move on, don't waste your precious time or energy on people who can't or won't care. You need your strength to fight IC and to function each day. As I get older, I am learning to stay away from people who make me feel uncomfortable or unsupported, even if its family. I am never rude but I don't seek them out and I would never confide anything personal to them. I hope you continue to find supportive friends here at the IC site. I haven't met a selfish one in the bunch.
        Take care and focus on the positive people you know!
        Fellow ICer,
        Mac

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        • #5
          I am very sorry, that is so hard to face! I am glad though that you have your husband's side and I hope you can get yourself to focus on them instead of your family! I have the opposite situation- my husband's parents are nasty and mine (particularly my dad and stepmom) really try to understand and come thru. Most of all, my husband rocks as my support. I try to focus on what I do have instead of my husbands parents being mean and insensitive but sometimes they do get to me. Hang in there, doll!

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