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  • Trishann
    replied
    Oh Cindy I wish I could give you an answer for this one but I can't. This is something you have to decide and that you feel comfortable with. But it is natural for a little one to call you mom when you are the one taking care of him. I don't know if it will confuse him if you try to stop him from doing so. Maybe as he gets older you can explain it to him. You are the one that knows Jake more and you just do what you think that is best for Jake.

    I admire you for taking this little one into your home and giving him love.
    Just sending hugs, Trishann

    Leave a comment:


  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    Cindy,
    I can't believe that they are trying to say that you are not taking good care of Jake. I'm sure the case worker knows that it's a crock and is taking it with a grain of salt. I know you can't wait until that termination hearing comes and is finally over with. I hope the next couple of weeks go really fast for you and are hopefully flare free.

    Leave a comment:


  • tigger_gal
    replied
    lol.... your feelings about here are probably equal to mine.. (((hugs))) its ok.. I talked to the social worker today and she told me not to worry about it. She will be stopping by here for a visit on Thursday or Friday.


    Thank you Kuntrygirl,
    I liked you wedding dress its really pretty
    Last edited by tigger_gal; 03-13-2007, 02:08 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • kuntrygurl78
    replied
    Coming from a kids point of view

    I was 15 when my parents divorced. My birth father went from being a dad, to being a jerk. He ended up calling me worthless and told me to leave. My mom and step dad tried so many times to make the relationship between me and my birth father work. After 2 years of deep depression and extreme fighting it came to a head. I went crying to my grandpa one too many times. He told me that I either needed to leave, or he was going to go beat up my dad. I left. (didnt want grandpa in jail) Two weeks later, I went to visit my dad. It was the same. He was mean and rude and just horrible. It has been 10 years since I last talked to him. All this time, my step dad has become my dad. Hes the one that supports me. Hes the one that tells me how much he loves me. Hes the one that has always been there for me. In my eyes, thats what a parent does. I always think of the Brad Paisley song "Didnt have to be" when I think of my step dad. He didnt have to be my dad but he is and always will be.

    Jake is so young. Someone said earlier that many children have more than one mom. Its so true! I had a few moms growing up and I am thankful for it. You can never be too loved!

    I think of you and Jake often, and I am so honored to know someone like you! You are taking on a child and raising this child as your own.

    Leave a comment:


  • traceann
    replied
    Ditto what Sharon said!!!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • SharonA
    replied
    Tig...I keep typing how I really feel about this niece of yours and then deleting them so I guess I should just tell you that I am supporting you and praying for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • tigger_gal
    replied
    Thanks that really makes me feel so much better after the accusations directed at me today.
    I was told she reported that I put shoes on him that are to small, and only she knows this because he curls his toes .. how stupid dose she think we are. There is no way Jake could walk like that..... Then I left red marks on his body but only she could see them, poor Gary told me he was asking where and she was pointing all over his neck Then I put clothes on him that are to small, and I am not feeding him right
    You know if she didn't enjoy getting her butt beat so much I might have gotten in my van and drove out to her motel room! However I am not going to do anything to jeopardize losing Jake. I did tell my sister to tell her if she calls she better back off because I will not ever let her see him once I adopt him. and out of anger and disgust I told her to tell Christina if she didn't stop accusing me of doing things I'll let Foster care take him and she will never know how he is. Please know I would never do that, I just want her to stop harassing me. The courts must know that this would all be retaliation.
    I am going to email Foster care and tell them I want a restraining order put in affect for her and James to stay away from all 4 of us.
    I can't believe she would think I would hurt him.. Just because she did doesn't mean I will.

    Leave a comment:


  • SrMaggie
    replied
    Sorry, I didn't read carefullly - I put 'yes' but I meant 'no' - it is not wrong for him to call you Mommy. And no one else should have corrected him.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kathi
    replied
    My 7 yr old twin grandsons have a "real" father who lives in NC & they have my daughters fiance (getting married soon). They call him Dad, cuz he's the one who coaches baseball & does the day to day stuff with & for them. They say they know the one in NC is their father but this one is "Dad". A child's point of view for you. Hugs, Kathi

    Leave a comment:


  • traceann
    replied
    Good luck with today chickie!!!! Will be thinking of you!

    Leave a comment:


  • tigger_gal
    replied
    thank you girls.. 3 weeks and 4 day until the termination hearing.. only 4 visits left including today..

    Leave a comment:


  • Bessie
    replied
    I am just so proud that you are taking care of that precious little angel

    Let him call you what he wants. The name does not really matter because he knows you all love him and are the ones who take care of him

    You are a true angel yourself

    Leave a comment:


  • mary124
    replied
    I not going to vote on this, but I don't think its wrong for Jake to call you and your husband "Mommy" and "Daddy". After all, you are raising him. There is a difference in a birth Mom.
    My Sister is in a similar situtation like you are. Her daughter pretty much wants nothing to do with her children -- so they live with their Grandma. She lives there part time, when she gets tired of the boyfriend. Kids are confused. Sometimes they call Grandma, "Grandma" and sometimes "Momma"
    When their Mom is their she tries to correct them and tell them that she is their Mom and they say No! It is so sad.

    Donna is right, write a sorry about Jake, kids love that kind of thing and read it to him all the time. He will never get tired of it.

    Leave a comment:


  • leelee88
    replied
    Tig...
    You should never feel guilty of what you have done. You know in your heart you are doing whats best for Jake..Think of it this way..You would feel alot more guilty if your neice and her boyfriend had Jake and was abusing him or neglecting him..You need to think of this as a postive thing that you and your husband has done..

    I think Donnas idea about the little story is a great idea..You can also write Jake a letter and tell him your feelings and emotions about the whole adopting process and give to him when hes older and starts asking questions..

    I do believe Jake should know who his mom is, and when he gets older he should know the truth why you adopted him.

    I do want to applaud you and your husband for having the courage to proceed with the adoption.

    And just remember anyone can be a mother, but it takes a special person to
    be a mommy:

    Hugss girly...

    Ps.. Please have no guilt, because you have probably saved that babies life..
    Last edited by leelee88; 03-12-2007, 06:27 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Moonheart
    replied
    I honestly don't see how there could even be a question. People have to see first hand how much these children suffer before they can pass judgement on the rightness or wrongness of how you handle your business.

    Anyone who has seen a beautiful little girl with half her face melted from "mommy" pouring hot oil on her face, has no doubt that taking a child out of a dangerous situation is the right thing to do.

    Leave a comment:

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