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  • crying histerically here!

    I just need to vent... I'm sitting at work histerically crying.

    Many of you know my family situation. (I dont talk to them dure to religion issues) But On tuesday I ran into my two sisters in the mall. It was really wierd. My younger sister bekah couldnt be happier to see me while my older sister was scared. I spoke to them for a few mins jsut small talk. and then I let them go back to shopping b/c my older sister chelsea didnt want to talk anymore. I was happy that day after b/c I realized that I am better off not talking to them. I proved to them that I can make it on my own. I have a good paying job, I bought a new car and etc... (they told me after they kicked me out that I cant survive without them.... Wrong!!!)

    Anyways today I got up the nerve to text message my little sister and say how it was good to see her the other day and that we should bump into each other more often. she replied "....if you want to change your evil ways.......if you change I would love to have things the way they used to be... but honestly I dont want to hang out with you... I still believe what I believe...but i grew stonger in the faith and dont want to hang out with wordly people." then she sent another saying "if you change great. see the difference between us is... what god offered you... you didnt see was great enough and worth enough to give up things in your life... but to me giving up everything is worht it. Including giving up YOU... we all still love you and pray for you hoping we will see the day you come back and realize how stupid you are for doing this.... we will never give up hope. but I still love yiou. But remember if you dont change you will have to stand before the lord someday. and that wont be good for you."
    That is coming from a 16 year old.... I'm not a bad person. I do believe in god. I dont drink or do drugs. They are in some sort of cult and I didnt want any part in it. So they threw me to the side of the road and said have a nice life. I am sooo hurt that my own sister said this to me. I quoted that word for word. I dont want to start a fight between people on this site but I just needed to vent and put this behind me.
    I cant stop crying.

    Rachel
    ***Rachel***

    Dance like no one is watching
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Live today like it's your last

    Dxd with IC in June '06

  • #2
    We are here for you petrie. You are right, it sounds like you are better off keeping your distance. Its hard when its your family. Keep you head up.

    Erika
    IC diagnosed officially via cysto/urodynamics 1/26/07

    Grade II Endometriosis diagnosed via lap 12/11/07

    "Fall down seven times, Stand up eight."

    "Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think."

    Current Treatments:
    Interstim Since 5/25/07!
    Birth Control

    Comment


    • #3
      Ugh. I am so sorry you are being treated this way. It's hard when anyone cuts us off for seemingly ridiculous reasons, but when it is family it must just hurt that much more. It sounds like your little sister was happy to see you and then maybe after you parted others told her she was wrong and so on.... Maybe as she is older and better able to think for herself she will open herself back up to you. It does sound like you are better off without them, but I know it must still hurt so badly.

      The nice thing, thank goodness, is that we can create new families for ourselves - with people we CHOOSE to be with and surround ourselves with. Our biological families we are born into ------- but we have the power to choose our "family" when we are older - people who believe similarly to us, who support us and who love us unconditionally.

      I'm sorry your family of origin has abandoned you and I hope you have some good friends and support ---- folks who will remind you that you are worthy of good, healthy relationships with people who love to be around you no matter your religion.
      Kim

      Diagnosed August 2001

      Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)


      Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)

      I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.

      *****************************

      “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl

      “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian Tracy

      Comment


      • #4
        Wow...I'm stunned. I bet you're better off as well disassociating yourself. I mean, I can understand your family's desire to be good shephards toward you, but this isn't the way.

        In my short time on earth, I've often run across the phenomenon of people pointing out things about me that they don't like are actually self-criticizing and seeing that thing in themselves.

        In a world that needs love more than anything right now, your sister's words were not loving in the least.
        Sonja

        Dx: Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy/Congestive Heart Failure-1997, Vulvar Vestibulitis-2006, IC-Feb 2007, Atrophic Vaginitis 08, Heavy Long and Painful Periods leading to Partial Hysterectomy-2007, Rectal Fissure-2007, Pelvic Floor Dysfuntion-2008, Post-Menopausal-2010

        Meds: Coreg, Elmiron, Elestrin, Est/Test Topical Gel, Valium Suppositories, Lyrica, Dyrenium to counteract edema from Lyrica, Pain Meds.

        IC Diet: Very diet sensitive, esp. to spices.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you all for your sweet words. They really made me feel better! I'm absolutly speachless. It's horrible the way I've been treated. My self esteem has gone drastically because of my own family. They make me feel worthless and like I dont deserve to live. But do they honestly believe by talking to me so rudely will make me come crawling back to them?? I will never do that! I was just starting to live my life and get back on track and be happy with my life and they keep shooting me back down. thank you all for your concern.


          Rachel
          ***Rachel***

          Dance like no one is watching
          Love like you've never been hurt
          Live today like it's your last

          Dxd with IC in June '06

          Comment


          • #6
            You've already made your own life so much better w/out them. And you're always here for all of us too. Maybe someday they'll beg for you to take them back and they will see how awful they're being to you. In my own opion, nobody needs people like that in their lives. You have to focus on the positive in your life. (((hugs)))

            Comment


            • #7
              (((((Rachel)))))))

              Dear Rachel,

              I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you. You are such a warm, loving, intelligent woman. I am proud of everything you have accomplished on your own but it still hurts to have "family" treat us in such a hurtful way. I hope you can find strength and comfort in other people in your life.

              Thinking of You!

              Kara
              Complex Case: Severe IC 1999, Interstim 2001, Endometriosis 2001, End Stage Refractory IC 2002, Bladder Removal (Cystectomy) 2002, Gall Bladder Removal 2005, Infertility 2003, Urethra Removal, Bladder Reconstruction (Urethrectomy/Indiana Pouch) 2006, Celiac Disease 2007, Adhesion Disease 2007, Pudendal Nerve Entrapment, Ovarian Cysts, Vestibulitis, Vulvodynia, Total Vestibulectomy and removal of both Skene's Glands, 2007 and Coccydynia 2007. Fibromyalgia and, Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome both in my neck and knees, 2007, PNE Decompression Operation May, 2009.Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Anesthesia Awareness (to awaken during operations)Pudendal Nerve Decompression Surgery, Revrse Uterine Sling, Sept. 2011

              "One hour at a time, this was NOT my American Dream but it has to work out somehow."

              I also have some journals of my journeys, past and some present at:
              http://karasnewblog2008.blogspot.com/ and http://icnkaralynn.blogspot.com/

              Most of my Journaling now is currently on Facebook. These are old and my ICN Patient story is very old and outdated.

              Comment


              • #8
                I am so sorry that they have treated you this way. It truly breaks my heart that they could do this to you. I know it is hard not to think about it, but I hope you are able to get your mind off of it. You are a wonderful, loving, giving person. I have seen how supportive you are of others just from your posts here. You come here and give and give and give to total strangers! As good as you are to us, I am sure you were even more giving to your family. They are truly the ones missing out. I hope that they realize this and come to their senses. I am glad that your heart is still open to forgiving them. I hope that you will still forgive them no matter how long it takes.

                Many hugs,
                Amy

                P.S. I just sent you a pm. Feel free to call or pm me anytime. You are never alone!
                Last edited by ihurttoo; 03-15-2007, 03:18 PM. Reason: to add the P.S.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be very difficult for you.

                  Warm hugs,
                  Donna
                  Stay safe


                  Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
                  Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

                  Have you checked the ICN Shop?
                  Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

                  Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

                  Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

                  Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

                  AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

                  I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                  [3MG]

                  Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

                  Comment


                  • #10

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                    • #11
                      How sad for you to go through this. We are all heere for you, so vent all you want.

                      Meds I take:
                      Elmiron, Elavil, Vagifem- for IC
                      Albuterol, Flovent, Atrovent- for Asthma and lung problems
                      Paxil, Clonazepam- for depression and Anxiety
                      Atenolol- for rapid heart rate
                      Nexium- for Gerd
                      Levothyroxin- for Hypothyroidism
                      Lasix, Pottasium- for edema
                      Lipitor- for High Cholesterol
                      I coated aspirin
                      02 at bedtime

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Rachel,
                        I am so sorry you are going through this again.. I know you love your family, and its hard to have to go through what they are putting you through.. You followed your heart and choose to go a differant path, that does not mean you are a bad person. I hope one day your mom and sisters will change their minds, but if they dont.. Just remember thats thier choice not yours, they are the ones who have to live with whatever decisions they make.. Like I told you before I am always here for you, if you need a friend..
                        God bless you hun.. Take care
                        Hugs
                        Ronda

                        ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


                        Link to Patient Handbook:
                        http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

                        Diet Reference Sheet:
                        http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

                        Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

                        Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

                        Meds I have Tried:
                        Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
                        Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
                        Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

                        Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
                        Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

                        Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



                        ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I can kinda relate to what you are going thru and family kinda turning there back on you..It is very hard I know, but I try my hardest to think positive thoughts and that one day they might change their attitude..I go thru alot of depression cause of it and I just try to take thing day by day and surround myself with people who do care..I hope that things will be ok for you cause you sound like a very nice person...Take care

                          Jennifer
                          Interstitial Cystitis(Interstim Therapy)
                          IBS
                          Fibromyalgia
                          Pseudotumor cerebri
                          Type 2 Diabetes

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                          • #14
                            Racheal, I have gone through the exact same thing with my sisters, which I have 5 of. They all thought I was this poor person who couldn't make it on my own, not good enough for any guy and so on. They all say I am the evil one and they are the great religous people of the world and only their religion is the right one. You are better off not associating with them. I found not associating with them was the way to survive and live because mind wise I just could not take it anymore. ALways argueing and then I felt like I was worthless and evil. I even had to walk away from my own mother. SHe was always for my sisters but yet it was evil satan who helped all of them out when they needed it. Even some relatives think of me as married to satan! Good grief if I was do they really think they would still be walking? Try not to let it bother you. They seem to think they have to put you down and make themselves look better. Those are not religous people in my eyes and good for you proving them wrong! I don't know the whole story behind your family problems but I do have an idea of what they might be.

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                            • #15


                              Your sisters are always with you in your heart, they are just going through something right now. I can't understand it, but I can't understand my own family at times either. My mom and her sister do not speak to one another, and when they do....it's not pretty. But they share memories that no one can take away.

                              My sister and I had a falling out 3 years ago, and we are doing things together again now, but I don't think we will ever be as close as before. I try to accept this change in her and I guess I have probably changed too.
                              It makes me sad though.
                              Uggh! The human condition.....

                              Colleen
                              Diagnosed October 2006
                              Medications
                              Percocet
                              Hydroxine
                              Elmiron
                              Monthly installations

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