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Not in the mood

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  • Not in the mood

    How do you nicely tell your partner you are not in the mood for sex, not even oral? Yesterday I was running to the bathroom every 10 minutes, and my partner saw that, yet he asked for oral sex and when I tried to joke about it he said "c'mon, it's been 3 weeks". At that point I didn't know what to say so I gave him oral and he didnt bother coming near me.
    He later asked "I hope you didn't feel you we're forced into it". So he knew I wasn't in the mood!! Ahh this frustrates me.
    Last edited by Naughtybutnice; 08-05-2013, 10:18 AM.
    Elmiron 100 mg, 3 times a day.
    Myrbetriq 50ml, once a day.
    Elavil 10mg/day.
    Zopiclone 7.5mg/day.

    Urethra dilation June 2013.

  • #2
    I know this is old but I felt the need to respond since I have felt similar many times. I just got out of a relationship with someone who was not mature enough to understand any of my health issues and who got angry and irritated with me due to not having sex on a regular basis. I was so afraid of losing him that I had sex even when I was in pain or peeing constantly like you said. He didn't force me but I felt like I had to have sex here and there to keep the relationship going. Of course, if I felt better, I would love having sex normally but having IC drains you and having sex just adds insult to injury and then you're left to pick up the pieces the next day. I started to grow resentful of my boyfriend at the time. I would end up taking 3 showers a day 1 in the morning before work once after getting home and once again after sex at night and the whole process just became exhausting. Anyways, now I'm single and am fully focusing on my health and trying to get better before I get involved in a relationship again. It feels good to not be pressured and worried about the next time sex is coming or how much pain I will endure each time.

    The right person will understand. The right person will be patient. The right person will stick by your side. Not saying that you should leave your relationship and heck, you might even be married now, I don't know but just know you deserve to feel good and your needs are important too. Being single can be lonely but I have faith that I'm going to find a solution for my IC that will allow me to live a more normal life and have a happier sex life with someone who is comforting and understanding.

    Hopefully your meds help and you're living well.