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I feel I cant have a social life anymore.

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  • I feel I cant have a social life anymore.

    Hi all.. feeling down. I am 25. Female. Because of this disease, I feel I cant go out anymore and experience a social life. I have a lot of friends and every time I go out with them I force a smile but deep down inside I am extremely fatigued and fighting a battle. They just don't know. When my friends invite me out on weekends, I will go. The unfortunate part is... when I go to bed at 12,1 or 2 am on a body automatically wakes up at 7 am to pee and its hard for me to go back to bed. Back when I didn't have IC I would sleep in but now I cant. So basically I will go to bed at 1 or 2 and wake up at 4 to pee then again at around 7. The next day, I am sooo fatigued to the point that I cannot function. Plus I have to work. I dont like missing out on fun times with my friends but I think that it has come to a point where I cant do this anymore to myself I can't go out... I want to but I dont know what to do. On a daily basis, I am able to get a full rest when I go to bed before 11pm. So if I go to bed at or before 11pm and wake up at 7am - I will be fine. My body just automatically wakes up to pee at 7 or 8 but then its very difficult for me to go back to bed. And yes I follow the diet and I dont drink alcohol. But its just the part where I go to bed late... I just can't sleep in. Therefore, this just limits me from going out. I have been fighting it and fighting it with my friends but I just can't! I need to stay home and rest.

    Now, another part of me feels guilty if I dont go out. Which I would like your help with... I feel guilty for missing out on fun times with friends now. I don't want them to think "Why doesnt she hang out with us anymore". They wouldnt think that in a bad way because they are my friends but I hope I dont lose them because of it. I also feel that its too personal and I dont want to talk to them about this - especially since 2 of them are close guy friends! I just really don't want to tell them. Its my own personal decision. I have just been battling it every time but now I have come to my senses and its just not right for me - not right for my body And I know I can do other stuff like movies so Its not like I wont see them again but its just hanging out late.

    I would love to know if anyone knows where I am coming from.

    Just to let you know before the diet, I would get up every hour to pee during the night but now its 3 times or 4 - which sadly I consider good.

  • #2
    Re: I feel I cant have a social life anymore.

    One thing you might do is to restrict the late night outings to weekends or when you don't have to go to work the following day. Are you able to nap at all? Please don't feel guilty; it's not something you did to yourself. And it's okay to restrict going out late to once or twice a month --- it might be worth it to feel tired if it's not every weekend. And it's okay to tell friends that you can't stay out late as often as you'd like because you don't get enough rest when you do.

    Sending gentle hugs,
    Stay safe

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    • #3
      Re: I feel I cant have a social life anymore.

      Hi Sparkle! I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I am in my thirties and know the feeling about turning down social invites because of this condition. Don't feel guilty - sometimes we really have to just take care of ourselves. A suggestion - would it work better if you still went out with them but just left early? That way you can still spend time with them, but also get the sleep you need.

      I respect your decision to not tell them right now about your IC. However, when you feel ready, I would encourage you to open up to them. Even if you don't get into the whole story and all the details, just tell them you have a condition that makes it hard to do some of the things you used to. I spent YEARS trying to keep my symptoms a secret because I was embarrassed and thought it was too personal. When I finally opened up to my friends and family, it was so liberating. They were much more supportive than I thought and now I don't have to hide or make up excuses, I can just tell them the truth about what I'm feeling.


      • #4
        Re: I feel I cant have a social life anymore.

        Thank you for your response, Donna. It's so hard for me to nap. I always try to the next day after a late out night but I usually work on the weekends so I dont have time to nap sometimes. I have taken only a few naps but thats once in a blue moon - depending how my mind is. I also have anxiety too. I think I will have to limit the nights out. Thank you for your advice.


        • #5
          Re: I feel I cant have a social life anymore.

          Thank you Asha. You're right. That is a good tip to leave a bit early... my friends and I carpool sometimes because we live so close but I might have to tell them that if they come in my car, I will have to leave earlier - and leave the decision up to them. I appreciate that. Also, yes when the time is right I might have to tell them what I have...