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  • Desperate for lots of prayers

    I was not going to post any of this, for reasons I choose not to explain, but, I am really in desperate need for a lot of prayers. I know that sounds funny coming from me, but please if you love children you will keep my family in your prayers.

    Here is a background of what has taken place.. this being the very short version…
    Over a year ago, events took place that led my niece of losing her son to the state. My sister, her mother had custody of him, and now I do. I fought very hard for his safety. I had to jump thru all sorts of hoops and do a dog and pony act to get custody of him. My very close friends know what, why and how come. I choose to leave this part out too.

    I got a lot of mixed feelings on all of this, she is my niece and I love her, and on a moms point of view, I just can't conceive what has taken place. Why she didn't try, why dose she choose her worthless domestic violence b/f and lie about it, why dose she refuse to tell foster care where she lives and give them a number to call her. (we know why tho, don't we) Just because I love her don't mean I have to like her. Why in 11 ½ months has she not complied with one court order?
    If the courts don't follow thru on the permency hearing and the termination of parental rights, then they are no better then my niece..

    All my friends and my family have asked me, can you do this, and be able to face the fact that they can take him and give him back at any given moment? I did not think that it would go this far. I thought my niece would make things right. She proved me wrong over and over again. I tried to help her, I offered to take her to get “court orders” completed and she always had an excuse as to why she could not.

    The stress over this is unbelievable. It is like I am waiting on them to take my baby away.. The constant flair is unbelievable. I have learned in the last year of going thru this battle, I have a more self control then I thought imaginable. I could not begin to tell you the names I have been called at court dates, and the things I was accused of by my niece. . Not to mention the patience required you are forced into. The times I have nearly bitten my tongue off, and the times I crammed my hands in my pockets to keep from knocking the living hell out of her. This has taught me a valuable lesson in what you would do for the love and safety of a child.

    I have a court hearing coming up on the 22nd. It’s a permanency hearing for Jake. This is where they will place him in my home, on a permanent basis and cannot be removed.
    Then a formal court hearing will take place in 45 to 60 days to terminate parental rights. After this and so many days he will be put up for adoption. The people that get first choice on adoption, is the family, or the people that has had him in there custody for 6 conductive months. Which of course will be my husband and I. We have been told this. Jake calls us Mommy and Daddy; we are the only parents he has ever known.

    During the last review my niece showed her true colors and Jakes atty asked for tpr immanently within 30 days. Foster Care agreed. She actually had the nerve tell the judge that if the quit f’ing screwing her she could get her s**t done, and how can she do it in the time allowed, the judge told her she had 11 months, now she has 6 weeks. Of course she didn’t let it go at that, she said she can’t do it because no one will help her. The judge told her if you need help doing these court orders how do you intend to raise this child. my niece still was cussing, and the judge said we are done here, slamed the folder shut, got up and said good day.
    My niece also has not job and is living with he DV b/f in a motel.

    Please say a prayer that this hearing will all go as planned, and the termination hearing will be set asap.

    Thank you for taking the time for reading this.. it means more to me then you will ever know.
    Last edited by tigger_gal; 02-13-2007, 06:41 AM.
    'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

  • #2
    Tigger Gal,

    You and your family are in my prayers. Jake is such a cutie - I love the pictures you post of him. I am praying for things to go exactly as they should - that he remain with the only parents he knows - you and your husband. I admire you for the wonderful things you have done for this precious child.

    Lots of hugs,


    • #3

      Stay safe

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      • #4
        Tig...We all know how much you love that little boy and how much he needs to stay with you. I pray that the judge sees that and moves in your favor.


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        • #5
          coming your way. I hope all works out for the baby and you
          God grant me the serinity to withstand the days ahead!!!

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          • #6
            My heart goes out to you...You have done and amazing thing by taking this child in a caring for him like he was your own..People like your niece does not derserve to have privileged of even having a child, much less getting him back..I pray that you will get permanent custody of this child, you truly deserve him...I know this has to be one of the hardest things a mother has to go through, You might not be his biological mother, but you are truly his mom..In every sense...
            I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers..

            I wish you good luck with the court hearing...


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            • #7
              tig,i hope all goes well,and i will definately pray for is such a wonderful thing you have done for that baby,he is truly your son.


              • #8
                good luck to you tig

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                • #9
                  My heart breaks to hear this. Will be



                  • #10
                    Thank you for all you do for this little boy. You are truly an angel on earth for him.


                    • #11
                      Lots of prayers He definitely needs to be in a stable, loving home.

                      "You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

                      "The most important medicine is tender love and care" - Mother Teresa

                      Proud mother of Ahleia, born on April 9, 2007

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                      • #12
                        Thank you so much everyone. I actually think you would be horrified at some of the things that she has said and done.
                        Being 40 and Mommy again is tough. Ashley is 18 and going to go to college. Hubby and I wanted to have a baby but it wasn't in the cards for us. Even after we found out that the tubal I had in 1993 had "never" taken place. (this was before I met my hubby)
                        our life as we knew had completely has changed. IF I had to turn back time and do it again I would not have any second thoughts. I love this baby, more then my own life, and just as much as I love my own biological daughter.

                        My sister had him, but sadly enough she did not want him. She has this huge 3 bedrom home with just her and her son living there. Hubby and I pulled out our dressers (mine is in the kitchen and hubby's in the laundry room) out of our room for his crib and his dresser. I have a tiny (896 square foot) 2 bedroom home, now there are 3 adults, Jake and 3 big dogs. Every thing Jake has is from my husband and I, when he was taken away my niece refused to give him any clothes, the crib, toys, nothing. My sister too did nt provide for him.. None of this actually matters, but wanted to fill you in a little bit. the one and only important thing is, is he is happy, safe, well loved and very spoiled.
                        'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'


                        • #13
                          Tigger gal, I sort of know where you are coming from. The difference between us is you faught for custody of your nephew where I didn't for my neice. Which I really feel awful for since I am the one to blame for the way her life turned out. Your nephew is really lucky to have you for his aunt and your husband for his uncle. I do know also how you feel he is your own so to have to turn him over will be very hard. Like giving up your own child. I will hope when court day comes they will see you are deffinately the one who should raise him. Good luck on that day.


                          • #14
                            I understand the custody thing more than you know. Please know you are in my prayers.

                            (Babs passed away in April 2009. We honor her memory and remember her fondly. - Jill O. ICN President & Founder)

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                            • #15