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This is urgent, but not life-threatening. My husband is nice 10% of the time ever since we've been married. Since I've been ill, he tries to help (besides supporting us) when I'm not able to function (on the couch or bed). He'll ask if I want tea, and will make my grilled chicken w/o spices on it. Besides that, he's a bundle of anger. I try to 'work through each day', whether I'm having a good day or not (a good day is being able to take a shower, do some laundry and grocery shop -can only be on my feet for about 35 to 40 minutes or I get what I call 'instaflare'). This evening, I went to the store, cooked dinner (not much prep time...most was deli chicken, etc.), but I tried to act happy, I was feeling pain, but not extreme and he comes in like a Tasmanian Devil. I had bought a peach pie and was heating it in the oven so the boys and my husband could put vanilla ice cream on top of it. My son brought up the new container of ice cream and my husband opened the freezer and threw our last container on the counter and yelled "Use this first before opening another one". I said, "There's not much left and it's gotten that 'gummy stuff on it". He said "Then you should throw the s&*^ away." He then said, "You also have a whole container almost full of Chocolate Yogurt downstairs". If you're not going to use the s*&*^ throw it away." I didn't say anything. I was already getting a flare from being on my feet. I wanted to tell him I was saving it for my Mom who loves chocolate yogurt. She and my Dad are coming next weekend. I felt like he had 'pushed' me down once again. He's very volatile, but not physical. It would have been nice if he'd said, "I noticed you have a skirt and earrings on....you must be feeling better....it's great you were able to fix dinner". NOOOOOOOO! He just shoots me down everytime. I don't know what to do, except....I'M NOT GOING TO INTERNALIZE THIS STUFF ANYMORE!!!! He's the problem, I'm not. I have diseases I can't help and his attitude makes them sooooo much worse. Please pray that God lays it upon his heart that he was wrong and he needs to change his anger tirades. The first thing I thought was that God was telling me "Yes you are worth more than this and you are my child". Don't let him bring you down. He's always done this. I just hope my children didn't hear it. I think this is why my older son talks to me the way he does....in an angry demeaning tone. I love them so much, I don't want them to deal with this poisonous spewing from their father's mouth. A few years ago, my husband told me, while our children were standing there and could hear everything...."I wish I'd never gotten married...I'd be much happier....and I wish I'd never had children". He said it again, the same way on another occasion. My older son cried and cried. We do love each other, but my husband is too proud and stubborn to deal with anyone being ill. Whenever he talks to relatives on the phone, he always tells them we're all fine. My sister-in-law told me I needed to exercise when I told her I had IC and Fibro. She's a nurse and I like her alot, but I wouldn't want to be her patient. Anyway, I'm trying not to get too depressed, but its' hard. My husband doesn't want to do anything with my older son, he's only taken him fishing twice and he's 14. I keep telling him, "Hey, I think Devin would love to learn woodworking, so why don't you let him help you with what you're building". He always has some excuse and the father/son thing never happens. I feel so bad for my older son. He's afraid of his Dad...not physically, but he's afraid of being berated. Once, when he was helping our son with math homework, he said to our son "Do you have s&*^ for brains". You are making stupid, stupid mistakes." I could go on and on, but I'm tired and am still trying to work through the last hour of 'happenings'. Again, please pray for God's hand to touch him and make him realize how hurtful he is to everyone. What would you say about a husband who compliments everyone else on how they look, but never his wife????????????????
Hurting emotionally and physically in GA,
Dani
Hurting emotionally and physically in GA,
Dani
Please keep us updated and let us know how things are going... we're here to support you....
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for their many sacrafice's. And for the ones who only get it when its convenient for them or on the other hand....how about the fact that "we are a hand full". I am the Queen of Cancelling plans. Just yesterday my daughter arranged a family barbeque....why? Because in the morning when we spoke I was feeling good, that was about 10:00AM, by 2:00pm my Husband saw that look in my eyes and said I'll make the call for the first time though I made him go without me even though he really didn't want too. This is her new house that she's been in for over three months now and I her Mother still hasn't seen it!
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