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  • My dad died

    My dad passed away last night after a 2 week stay in the hosp. He had cardiac and renal failure that progressed very rapidly over the past week and the Drs said there really wasn't much more they could do but keep him comfortable. He knew it was his time to go and was pretty much at peace with it. I thought I was at peace with it too till it happened. He has been so lonely since mom died and his health has been failing. Even though I was with him and he went peacefully with the help of hospice, I am totally distraught and overwhelmed with his lost. I just can't seem to stop crying since it happened, which is very unlike me. I swear I am deydrated from loss of tears! I just feel such a tremendous loss and so alone, like there is this huge void that nothing or no one can fill. I have no living siblings so I am going through this alone. It just seems so final knowing that both mom AND dad are gone now, it's like he really isn't gone and he'll call me anytime now.

    Today while I was at the funeral home I actually begged the funeral director to let me see his body just to be sure he was really dead. How out of control is that? Luckily he and my hubby talked me out of it, but that is how crazy and in shock I am. I don't even know what to do next or what to think, my parents were my strength and anchor through everything and now they are gone!! My hubby tries to understand but he was never really close to his parents and they have been gone for many years so it is hard for him to relate to the fact that my parents were my best friends.

    I have a really strong Christian faith and know they are together and very happy and some day we will all be reunited, my faith is the only thing that has brought me this far. I just don't know how to handle things here till that time comes. It seems so weird when I was getting gas or buying food on my way to the hospital people were just going about their lives and I was going to the hospital to watch my dad die and then today at the bank it was the same way. My heart was literally breaking as I was standing in line and everyone else was just going about their business. It took soooo long for life to get back to normal after my mom died, but I fear now that dad is gone too my heart will just shrivel up and I'll die inside right along with them. My parents left me with such a legacy of love that I will always cherish, but I never knew losing them could cause actual physical pain and torment like I'm going through. I've not slept in nearly 2 weeks and am physically and emtionally exhausted which I'm sure is adding to my despair, but last night I couldn't sleep at all. The funeral is on Fri and I'm suppossed to go back to work on Mon, how will I ever work when I can't stop crying?

    Thanks for letting me share my grief.

  • #2
    Hi Baileyrose, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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    • #3
      I'm so sorry. I know it will be hard to go back to work, but that may be the best thing for you. Life does go on --- and I know your parents want you to be a part of it.

      Sending gentle hugs,
      Donna
      Stay safe


      Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
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      • #4
        I am so sorry to read of your loss. I really can't begin to understand what you are going through, I have both my parents still and love them dearly.

        You said you had a strong Christian faith, thats fantastic and reading that I felt compelled to send you these bible verses that I hope bring you comfort.

        For God so loved the world that He gave His ONLY begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting Life.
        John 3 :16

        Also look up John 14:27 and John 16:33 they both talk about the peace He promises to give us.

        ALL MY LOVE and PRAY for you and your family

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        • #5
          Sorry to hear of your fathers passing.

          May you find peace from those around you....
          Diana
          (\__/)
          (o.O )
          (> < ) This is Bunny. He's on his way to world domination.

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          • #6
            SueC
            [email protected]

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            • #7
              I am so sorry for your loss. I can feel your grief in your words.

              Big Hugs to you and may God Bless You.
              Meds I take:
              Elmiron, Elavil, Vagifem- for IC
              Albuterol, Flovent, Atrovent- for Asthma and lung problems
              Paxil, Clonazepam- for depression and Anxiety
              Atenolol- for rapid heart rate
              Nexium- for Gerd
              Levothyroxin- for Hypothyroidism
              Lasix, Pottasium- for edema
              Lipitor- for High Cholesterol
              I coated aspirin
              02 at bedtime

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              • #8
                I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I too lost my father almost 12 years ago, I was with him when he took his last breath and not being a overly religious person, I sat beside his bedside and asked God to take him into his care and to stop the pain that my dad was going through. No sooner had I said that, that my father took his last breath. My beliefs changed that day.

                Personally I can't say it gets easier, because everyone handles grief differently. May you find the strength and support you need to get you through this hearbreaking time. If you would like to chat, please feel free to send me a pm.

                Thank you for letting me share my brief story above.

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                • #9
                  Thoughts are with you

                  I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Our parents are special to us and it is very hard. I will keep you in my prayers. Give yourself time and do get back to you life as soon as possible. It is hard, but that is best and you may cry at the oddest times, but know that God is with you through those times and you have the love and support of your friends.

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                  • #10

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                    • #11
                      My thoughts and prayers are with you..((((((((hugs))))))))))
                      Hugs
                      Ronda

                      ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


                      Link to Patient Handbook:
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                      Diet Reference Sheet:
                      http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

                      Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

                      Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

                      Meds I have Tried:
                      Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
                      Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
                      Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

                      Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
                      Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

                      Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.



                      ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

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                      • #12

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                        • #13
                          I am so sorry about your loss
                          Christine



                          I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
                          1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
                          2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
                          I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

                          I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

                          Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
                          Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

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                          • #14
                            My thoughts are with you.

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                            • #15
                              I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost both of my parents as well and I know how difficult it is.

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