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My dad died

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  • #16
    Hi BaileyRose,
    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. I lost my mom it will be 5 years ago this August. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Sending Big hugs your way.


    • #17
      HI BaileyRose,
      I'm too am SO sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 4 yrs ago and I felt like you did in the grocery store......everything was going on but my life was standing still that day. It's not easy and the next days may take all the strength you have......but know your parents are watching over you now and love you as much as they always have. May peace with you and your family through this tough time.........and you can always come here to be with friends........Roxie

      Double Spinal Cord Stimulator surgery 8/09
      Unsuccessful MiniArc sling surgery 12/07
      Dx'd Hypothyroid
      Dx'd Chronic Axonal Neuropathy & Myopathy
      June 2007
      Dx'd IC May 2006 (after suffering for 25+ yrs!)
      First Cysto 1979
      First Hydro 1981 (Many treatments since then!)
      Collagin"Durasphere" injections for urethra
      Gall bladder surgery Aug. 2004
      Gastric Bypass Dec. 2004
      Dx'd: Barrett's Esphogus July 2004
      Dx'd: Vaginal Atrophy 2005
      Bladder surgery 2000
      Dx'd: IBS 2000
      Hysterectomy (fibroids) 1999
      Laminectomy 1989
      Dx'd: Degerative Disk Disorder 1989

      For IC I use Elmiron, Elavil and Freeze dried Aloe Vera (it works likes Elmiron, but naturally)and Azo as needed. I also take Zegerid, Randitine for Barrett's Esophagus. (which causes me to have constant yeast infections!)I take Cymbalta for Neuopathy/Myopathy pain. I use the Climara patch for menopause symptoms. I'm on a very strict diet because of the IC, IBS and Gastric Bypass. I take Primal Defense Probiotics and whole food Iron.
      I no longer have the awful urethral pain! I've been using MSM gel now for 4 mo. and haven't had a flare up or the urethra's amazing stuff!!:woohoo:


      • #18
        I am so sorry for your loss. Losing one's parents is very difficult because they were always there whenever you needed them protecting you and loving you no matter what.

        Your post brought back all the feelings I had when my own father passed from this life into the next right in front of me 7 + years ago. He was diagnosed with acute leukemia and died 15 days later in his home in his own bed. We had Hospice help with everything and I am so grateful that they were there with us. My mother passed 1 year later after a very long illness. I still grieve their loss.

        I pray that the Lord will give you His peace that passes all understanding. That He will give you joy for mourning, and that He will hold you in His arms while you grieve. (((hugs)))

        Shopping??? Did someone mention shopping? I'll get my hat... ;-)

        Where I can be found most days.

        Link to the ICN Patient Handbook:

        Link to the IC Diet:

        IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.


        • #19
          Sweetie I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad. I lost my Dad two years ago this past March and I know how it feels. There isn't a day go by that I don't think about him.

          I'm thinking about you and sending my prayers.

          Hugs, Sandy
          *IC-- Summer 2004; PFD--October 2005
          *Fibro--Fall 2000; CFS-- Fall 2000
          *MPS--Fall 2000; Crohn's disease-- 1997*IBS,GERD, *Migraines, hypothyroidism, GYN problems *Degenerative Disc Disease/scoliosis

          Total Abdominal Hysterectomy--adenomyosis--9\08

          04/17/09 Crohn's disease almost killed me with a combo of extreme constipation from pain medications. My bowel ruptured, I almost died from peritonitis and spent several days in the ICU then more in a private room on the floor. If you have any questions about severe constipation from pain meds please don't hesitate to send me a message.


          • #20
            So sorry that your father has pass away. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


            • #21
              I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family bigh hugs and lots of prayers,
              'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'


              • #22
                Thank you all for your prayers and sweet kind words it has been a great help to me. I finally slept a bit last night and feel a bit better this morning. I'm still so numb and can't even think straight. I have a thousand things to do to prepare for the funeral on Fri. but am still sitting here in my pj's doing nothing. I've not even notified the bank, credit cards, ss office.... I can't even bring myself to pick up the phone and say the words. I need to get a picture of him ready for the memorial service as he wanted to be cremated not buried which I am really struggling with personally, I have never been to a funeral without a viewing and the thought of his ashes in an urn are really haunting me. I can't find the right picture and then the thought of having to go out to get it enlarged is just too much to think of right now. I also need to write out what I will say at the service as he asked me to speak. I spoke at my mom's funeral also, but don't remember it being this difficult. I've not even put one word down yet to begin to organize my thoughts. Two of my children are really taking this hard too, my daughter especially, my dad was truly the patriarch of our family, the strength, the leader the mentor and advisor to us all.

                He was a decorated war vet so a vets color guard will come to the memorial service and fold and present me with a flag at the end of the service. I know it is a very high honor to have this done, and I am sooo proud of his service to his country, but I know when they hand me that flag I will literally fall apart. I just hope I won't have to stand when I receive it because I will probably faint if I do.

                I know I will get through this, I know time will help heal some of the wounds, but it's been 4 yrs since mom died and I seem to miss her more everyday. She was my best friend. Now missing both of them seems almost too much to bare. I've already called his house twice out of habit because we talked at least once every day.


                • #23
                  Oh baileyrose, I am so sorry to hear this - sending lots of hugs and warm fuzzies you and your family's way. I too know what it's like to lose a parent, I lost my dad suddenly when I was 18-19, it's been years, and it's gotten easier, but I still do miss him.

                  And I think if you want to sit when presented, that they would respect your wishes etc. Again, I am so sorry for your loss, it's a huge thing to have to go through and deal with, just take your time and be easy on yourself.

                  Lots of hugs and sympathies,
                  How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

                  Harry arrived 2/23/09!

                  *IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                  IC Diet Cheat Sheet:

                  IC dx'd Nov 2004
                  Lymphocytic Colitis dx'd July 2005
                  Possible IBS
                  Current IC Meds
                  Vistaril 25mg in the evening
                  Previous IC Meds taken:
                  Cystoprotek - 2 caps 2x's a day
                  Elmiron, 100mg 3x's a day
                  Ditropan, 5 mg 3x's a day
                  Wellbutrin 150mg 2x's a day for Anxiety/IBS
                  Pepcid 40mg a day for GERD
                  Zytrec for Nasal Allergies
                  Align Probiotic daily for IBS


                  • #24
                    I was living with my grandma when she had a stroke. I moved in with my grandparents 6 months before the stroke, and lived there up until a month before she died. She was sick for over a year. It was very hard. I grew up just a few blocks from them, and she was always the strong tough one of the family. She held our family together.

                    The days around the funeral and visitation are still a blur. I dont remember much. I think I was just numb. When I went back to visit her grave a few weeks later, it took me a while to find it. I was on the other side of the cemetary. (small town cemetary..not that big).

                    Now, Im getting married on Sept 22. She died on Sept. 21. I am going to make a bouquet of the flowers that Im using at my wedding to put at her grave. It will be my way of showing that she is with me and she will always be with me. Im also having my grandpa walk me down the aisle. Im closer to him than I am my dad.

                    Its been 3 years. Its still hard. I still catch myself crying and missing her so much. I wont say that it gets easier. I just think you learn how to deal with it. Allow yourself time to grieve, and grieve in the way that you feel is best. Dont worry about what others say you should do.

                    Many people are bothered by the fact that I dont go to the grave site very often. Every time I do, it makes me cry for days. I figure grandma wouldnt want that. She is around me all the time. I talk to her, and I know she is with me. I felt her arms around me one night when we had sever weather. I was in the basement and scared to death. I curled my legs up and was hugging myself, and I could feel her hugging me too.

                    Remember that your parents are now your guardian angels. You can talk to them. They are always there. I pray that you always know your parents love is with you.

                    Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I hope that you find comfort in it.
                    Meds: Percocet PRN; Pyridium PRN. First symptoms Dec 2005. Diagnosed in March 2006.

                    I am the proud mom of a two year old boy! I was lucky enough to be in remission my entire pregnancy. If you have any questions regarding my pregancy, delivery, breastfeeding, or pumping, feel free to contact me!

                    Im on Facebook! Just tell me you are from the ICN. Look me up under Kim Wayne.

                    I love working as a CNA in a nursing home. Started school in August part time. Going for my LPN!!!!


                    • #25
                      I'll be thinking of you. Take care.


                      • #26
                        I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You will be in my heart and prayers.

                        Your feelings are very normal for losing a loved one. Maybe you could find a counselor to talk to.

                        Complex Case: Severe IC 1999, Interstim 2001, Endometriosis 2001, End Stage Refractory IC 2002, Bladder Removal (Cystectomy) 2002, Gall Bladder Removal 2005, Infertility 2003, Urethra Removal, Bladder Reconstruction (Urethrectomy/Indiana Pouch) 2006, Celiac Disease 2007, Adhesion Disease 2007, Pudendal Nerve Entrapment, Ovarian Cysts, Vestibulitis, Vulvodynia, Total Vestibulectomy and removal of both Skene's Glands, 2007 and Coccydynia 2007. Fibromyalgia and, Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome both in my neck and knees, 2007, PNE Decompression Operation May, 2009.Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Anesthesia Awareness (to awaken during operations)Pudendal Nerve Decompression Surgery, Revrse Uterine Sling, Sept. 2011

                        "One hour at a time, this was NOT my American Dream but it has to work out somehow."

                        I also have some journals of my journeys, past and some present at:

                        Most of my Journaling now is currently on Facebook. These are old and my ICN Patient story is very old and outdated.


                        • #27
                          sending prayers and thoughts

                          sending prayers and thoughts out to you and your family in this difficult time!


                          • #28
                            Very sorry for your loss! Your family has my prayers!
                            Faith, Hope, and Love,

                            I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

                            IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                            or find me on facebook
                            Be the Miracle! & Pay it Forward!

                            [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!


                            • #29
                              I am so sorry for your loss. Your post deeply moved me. I wish so badly that I could take the hurt and pain away. May God be with you and comfort you now and always. I will be praying for you.

                              Sending hugs,


                              • #30
                                I am so sorry...I know exactly what you are going through right now. My dad passed away Jan 25 (3 mths today). And although I know he is in a better place and not hurting anymore, it does not make it any easier right now. He had heart bypass in Nov 2006 and after that his alzim. got worse. To the point he left home by himself fell and shattered is pelvic bone and dislocated his hip. This was on a Sunday and he was sched. for surgery on Wed. The doctor did not give us much of a chance of him making it through surgery. Then one thing led to another during the week and on Thursday morning his heart stopped and basically was brain dead. We removed him from the vent and he peacefully passed away.

                                For me it has just really hit me smack in the face. I had to help my mom with so much right after his death I did not have time to sit and really think about it. I went through pictures and realized I did not have many of him and none of him with my son. Right now what pictures I have are in my Bible along with the newspaper write up we had.

                                I cry at the littlest things about him. And I am also having a hard time sleeping to. I am taking 1.5 mgs of Xanax at night right now and this is helping.

                                At his funeral I wrote something for him. I was a daddys girl big time and the baby of the family. And I am sorry you are having to deal with this alone and no siblings or mom. I dont know what I would have done.

                                You mentioned his service and the honor guard. My dad was Airforce and they came to the cemt for the burial where my mom got the flag and there was a 21 gun salute. She got three shells from that. That was great. Also from the president we received a cert. thanking him for his service in the forces.

                                Sunday the cem. where he is buried had its homecoming. I have tried several times to go to the cemt. since his burial but could not bring myself to do it. When we pulled up I just cried and almost could not make myself go see the momn. we picked out.

                                It is hard...and greiving is hard. My hubby is great, but his are both still here and cant understand how hard it is. Anytime you need to talk feel free to PM and hopefully maybe I could help.
                                God grant me the serinity to withstand the days ahead!!!

                                My myspace link...


                                In Memory of My Father (Lawerence) 1/25/2007

                                Interstim Sept 2001
                                1st InterStim Removal May 2005
                                2nd Interstim Implanted May 2005
                                2nd InterStim Removed March 2007
                                Hysterectomy 1999
                                Tubes Tied 1997
                                C-Section 1996

                                Me and my kids

                                Taylor (my daughter) Me and my daughter My son Cody and Taylor