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My dad died

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  • patricia1
    replied
    I am so sorry...I know exactly what you are going through right now. My dad passed away Jan 25 (3 mths today). And although I know he is in a better place and not hurting anymore, it does not make it any easier right now. He had heart bypass in Nov 2006 and after that his alzim. got worse. To the point he left home by himself fell and shattered is pelvic bone and dislocated his hip. This was on a Sunday and he was sched. for surgery on Wed. The doctor did not give us much of a chance of him making it through surgery. Then one thing led to another during the week and on Thursday morning his heart stopped and basically was brain dead. We removed him from the vent and he peacefully passed away.

    For me it has just really hit me smack in the face. I had to help my mom with so much right after his death I did not have time to sit and really think about it. I went through pictures and realized I did not have many of him and none of him with my son. Right now what pictures I have are in my Bible along with the newspaper write up we had.

    I cry at the littlest things about him. And I am also having a hard time sleeping to. I am taking 1.5 mgs of Xanax at night right now and this is helping.

    At his funeral I wrote something for him. I was a daddys girl big time and the baby of the family. And I am sorry you are having to deal with this alone and no siblings or mom. I dont know what I would have done.

    You mentioned his service and the honor guard. My dad was Airforce and they came to the cemt for the burial where my mom got the flag and there was a 21 gun salute. She got three shells from that. That was great. Also from the president we received a cert. thanking him for his service in the forces.

    Sunday the cem. where he is buried had its homecoming. I have tried several times to go to the cemt. since his burial but could not bring myself to do it. When we pulled up I just cried and almost could not make myself go see the momn. we picked out.

    It is hard...and greiving is hard. My hubby is great, but his are both still here and cant understand how hard it is. Anytime you need to talk feel free to PM and hopefully maybe I could help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ihurttoo
    replied
    I am so sorry for your loss. Your post deeply moved me. I wish so badly that I could take the hurt and pain away. May God be with you and comfort you now and always. I will be praying for you.

    Sending hugs,
    Amy

    Leave a comment:


  • Katrina
    replied
    Very sorry for your loss! Your family has my prayers!

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  • wolfaleena
    replied
    sending prayers and thoughts

    sending prayers and thoughts out to you and your family in this difficult time!

    Leave a comment:


  • Kara29
    replied
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You will be in my heart and prayers.

    Your feelings are very normal for losing a loved one. Maybe you could find a counselor to talk to.

    Kara

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  • meme
    replied
    I'll be thinking of you. Take care.

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  • kuntrygurl78
    replied
    I was living with my grandma when she had a stroke. I moved in with my grandparents 6 months before the stroke, and lived there up until a month before she died. She was sick for over a year. It was very hard. I grew up just a few blocks from them, and she was always the strong tough one of the family. She held our family together.

    The days around the funeral and visitation are still a blur. I dont remember much. I think I was just numb. When I went back to visit her grave a few weeks later, it took me a while to find it. I was on the other side of the cemetary. (small town cemetary..not that big).

    Now, Im getting married on Sept 22. She died on Sept. 21. I am going to make a bouquet of the flowers that Im using at my wedding to put at her grave. It will be my way of showing that she is with me and she will always be with me. Im also having my grandpa walk me down the aisle. Im closer to him than I am my dad.

    Its been 3 years. Its still hard. I still catch myself crying and missing her so much. I wont say that it gets easier. I just think you learn how to deal with it. Allow yourself time to grieve, and grieve in the way that you feel is best. Dont worry about what others say you should do.

    Many people are bothered by the fact that I dont go to the grave site very often. Every time I do, it makes me cry for days. I figure grandma wouldnt want that. She is around me all the time. I talk to her, and I know she is with me. I felt her arms around me one night when we had sever weather. I was in the basement and scared to death. I curled my legs up and was hugging myself, and I could feel her hugging me too.

    Remember that your parents are now your guardian angels. You can talk to them. They are always there. I pray that you always know your parents love is with you.

    Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I hope that you find comfort in it.

    Leave a comment:


  • traceann
    replied
    Oh baileyrose, I am so sorry to hear this - sending lots of hugs and warm fuzzies you and your family's way. I too know what it's like to lose a parent, I lost my dad suddenly when I was 18-19, it's been years, and it's gotten easier, but I still do miss him.

    And I think if you want to sit when presented, that they would respect your wishes etc. Again, I am so sorry for your loss, it's a huge thing to have to go through and deal with, just take your time and be easy on yourself.

    Lots of hugs and sympathies,
    Tracey

    Leave a comment:


  • PurpleKitty
    replied
    Thank you all for your prayers and sweet kind words it has been a great help to me. I finally slept a bit last night and feel a bit better this morning. I'm still so numb and can't even think straight. I have a thousand things to do to prepare for the funeral on Fri. but am still sitting here in my pj's doing nothing. I've not even notified the bank, credit cards, ss office.... I can't even bring myself to pick up the phone and say the words. I need to get a picture of him ready for the memorial service as he wanted to be cremated not buried which I am really struggling with personally, I have never been to a funeral without a viewing and the thought of his ashes in an urn are really haunting me. I can't find the right picture and then the thought of having to go out to get it enlarged is just too much to think of right now. I also need to write out what I will say at the service as he asked me to speak. I spoke at my mom's funeral also, but don't remember it being this difficult. I've not even put one word down yet to begin to organize my thoughts. Two of my children are really taking this hard too, my daughter especially, my dad was truly the patriarch of our family, the strength, the leader the mentor and advisor to us all.

    He was a decorated war vet so a vets color guard will come to the memorial service and fold and present me with a flag at the end of the service. I know it is a very high honor to have this done, and I am sooo proud of his service to his country, but I know when they hand me that flag I will literally fall apart. I just hope I won't have to stand when I receive it because I will probably faint if I do.

    I know I will get through this, I know time will help heal some of the wounds, but it's been 4 yrs since mom died and I seem to miss her more everyday. She was my best friend. Now missing both of them seems almost too much to bare. I've already called his house twice out of habit because we talked at least once every day.

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  • tigger_gal
    replied
    I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family bigh hugs and lots of prayers,

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  • mary124
    replied
    So sorry that your father has pass away. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Leave a comment:


  • SandyRN
    replied
    Sweetie I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad. I lost my Dad two years ago this past March and I know how it feels. There isn't a day go by that I don't think about him.

    I'm thinking about you and sending my prayers.

    Hugs, Sandy

    Leave a comment:


  • SharonA
    replied
    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing one's parents is very difficult because they were always there whenever you needed them protecting you and loving you no matter what.

    Your post brought back all the feelings I had when my own father passed from this life into the next right in front of me 7 + years ago. He was diagnosed with acute leukemia and died 15 days later in his home in his own bed. We had Hospice help with everything and I am so grateful that they were there with us. My mother passed 1 year later after a very long illness. I still grieve their loss.

    I pray that the Lord will give you His peace that passes all understanding. That He will give you joy for mourning, and that He will hold you in His arms while you grieve. (((hugs)))

    Leave a comment:


  • Roxie2007
    replied
    HI BaileyRose,
    I'm too am SO sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 4 yrs ago and I felt like you did in the grocery store......everything was going on but my life was standing still that day. It's not easy and the next days may take all the strength you have......but know your parents are watching over you now and love you as much as they always have. May peace with you and your family through this tough time.........and you can always come here to be with friends........Roxie

    Leave a comment:


  • jen74
    replied
    Hi BaileyRose,
    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. I lost my mom it will be 5 years ago this August. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Sending Big hugs your way.
    Jen

    Leave a comment:

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